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Lahat ng Kabanata ng First Love Dies : Kabanata 1 - Kabanata 10

29 Kabanata

01

01I watch my friend play with her children while I sit here in the corner and just watch them. It's been years now and I'm getting older each day. I don't know where and what are my destinations in life. They say when your first love broke your heart you will never forget about him, and I think because of that I still can't move on even though years has passed."Myles, what are you doing there all alone. Join us." My friend Faye dragged me so I could join them with her kids.Her daughter immediately went to me and gave me a hug, she has now 2 children. They are growing and moving forward while I'm stuck to where he left me.I tried to go on and move forward. I even tried dating but every man that I date won't pass my standard. The man who left me set my standard high and I don't know how to lower them."Uhm, did you get the invitation card?" Faye asked with caution.I nodded and smiled at her, but she just looks at me seriously. I know, she's angry but there's nothing more I can do.

02

02“You’re back?” Faye looks at me like I just did something ridiculous.I know. It’s crazy that I’m here after the scene we just did--walking out in front of my friends and crying like a baby but Harry made me come back, he said it’s his last wish from me, and I can’t say no even though my mind is saying otherwise.“Yeah.” I smile.“Myles, you don’t have to. I don’t want to see you hurt again like the last time.” She looks at me with concern.“It won’t happen again, I promise. This is the last time I will let myself be stupid.” I try to laugh for her to calm down but she didn’t.My break up with Harry was too much to take to that I didn’t eat for days and was only drinking water for the sake of staying alive. I hate that I did that but I was badly hurt and Faye was there and my mom too. I hated it when I saw her cry that made me came back to my senses.“I’m fine. I promise.” I hold her hand tight. She nodded but still not fully convince.My friends are looking at us--at me. Why would

03

03“Good morning!”I’ve been skipping work for the past few days--more like a week now but I’m determine to move forward. I can do this!I’ve already began though. The reason why I’m skipping my work aside from I hate my work, I renovated my condo. Paint, new furniture and stuff. It’s like creating a new environment to me and it feels good.I also did it myself. I bought things and carry them on my car or have the other stuff delivered and my condo now feels like a home not just a place where I sleep but a homey home where I can invite Faye to send the weekend with her kids. It’s nice, I love it.I bought a dog too, yes in a spam of 1 week I did all of those things and I call my dog kimchi! And she makes me alive and active as she is super active that it’s tiring. I’m now finding the joy in my life that I decline for years and I’m trying.Some days I still cry but not as much as I cry before. It’s good progress as I’m planning to see a psychiatrist too, so I would know how to overcome

04

04METI sneak out of our classroom and headed to the second floor. We don’t have class, but our teacher left us with some schoolwork to do. I’ll do it later after I get a glimpse of him, just for a moment.There aren’t students in the hallway because it’s still class hours and luckily, I got to his classroom with no one noticing.“What are you doing here?”I jumped and looked at the man nervously. He’s standing next to me while I’m peaking to Harry’s classroom. He’s hands are both on his pocket while he look at me seriously. Gosh! Why is he so intimidating?I then face my body to him and cross my arms, a way of defending myself. “Nothing, just passing by.” I awkwardly laughed and try to get a glimpse of Harry’s classroom, I smile as I saw him there studying seriously.“Stop coming here, I know you have class.”I raised my eyebrows at him. How did he know I come here every now and then? He seems familiar but I don’t personally know him though. He shook his head and just left me there

05

05“Relax, you’re not at fault. You should not be ashamed, they should be. They’re the one who got caught.”I breath in and out as I enter the premises of the school. Everyday I look forward on seeing Harry, a glimpse of him would make my day but today is different.I don’t want to see him today. I don’t know why but I’m ashamed of facing him today even though I did not do anything wrong, I was just at that place in the wrong time but it wouldn’t be wrong if I was there and they weren’t doing anything wrong. They should do that in a private place not in school and definitely not in uniform.Wait, I thought he doesn’t do girls? He’s not into relationship I heard and nobody has seen him with a girl before that some even thought that he was gay, but they’re wrong. I can’t believe I just found something about him that should be kept.“Harry looks so good.” I gulp as I heard his name. I’m on my way to my classroom and I thought I would manage to escape him and come to think of it, I didn’t

06

06“Are you and Blaine together already?” I asked Faye because from the look of her face she’s texting Blaine.“No.” She replied still focus on her phone.“You like him?”She put her phone down and give her full attention to me. “I guess? He’s sweet and caring.” She is in love, from the look of her face she’s like in a paradise while talking about him.“I like him for you. He’s a good friend too.” I answer. After spending time together with them I can see that he really cares for Faye.Today is weekend and Faye likes to spend time it in our house. Her house isn’t far away to ours and she just bike to come her since she’s bored there alone. I also like that she’s here because I’m also bored, mom is working even at weekend and dad also.“OMG!” I was surprise when Faye scream.“What? Is there something wrong?” I nervously asked.“Blaine and Asher are playing basketball nearby and he asked me to come.” Her eyes twinkled and I rolled my eyes, I thought something wrong happen. “Let’s go!” S

07

07Is this okay? OMG! I can’t handle this right now! But I have to act like last night didn’t matter to me. Like I forgot that I humiliate myself and the fact that I close my eyes and I thought that he was going to kiss me.We’re friends and friends don’t kiss, he might be wondering by now if I like him and he knows I like Harry, OMG I’m seriously losing my mind now and I’m here in his classroom--in his seat because I have to give his the cookies, I could just leave it to Blaine but he’s not here yet and so does Asher.“Should I just leave it here?” Someone might steal this, and I don’t want others to think that I’m Asher’s secret admirer, no way. I’m just here to give the cookies as his friend, that’s it nothing more.“what’s that?” My eyes widen as Harry arrive and is now asking me about the cookies. “Are you a friend of Asher?” It’s like I forgot to speak and I only nodded to him.“Can I have some of that too?” He smiled and pointed to the cookies I’m holding.I bit my lips and wan

08

08 “Can I tell you something?” I asked Faye. Our class is crowded and we’re waiting for our teacher to arrive, and what happen last night is bothering me and I can’t get it out of my mind.“Is there something wrong?” She worriedly asked. “You’re spacing out.”I smile and looks at her. “I think Asher likes me.” I said that only her can hear it.She didn’t say anything and just looks at me. She didn’t look surprise, does she know from the beginning? “It shows. I though you already know but chose not to say anything.” She smiles. “Don’t you like him? He cares for you.”“I think of him as a friend.” I shook my head and play with my fingers. “and you know I already like someone else.” She nodded.The conversation was a bit hanging as our teacher arrive before I could add something to tell.The crowded room become silent and even though our teacher witness the chaos earlier she’s still smiling, like something good is about to happen, and I think I’m not the only one who witness that becaus

09

09I look away, I don’t want to say anything. Harry is looking at me and I look at him. “Sorry.” Harry said and get his things.“It’s fine.” I said but he didn’t hear that because he already left, not even minding the teasing of our schoolmates.Some notice what happen and immediately stop teasing me. I bit my lips and get my things.“What the heck was that?” Faye asked angrily, she’s with the boys. I didn’t answer her and look at Asher who looks angry, and looking disappointed. I’m disappointed too but I can’t control what will happen, nor does Harry.When we get of the bus some of our schoolmates are still talking about the incident and it’s making me angry and irritated because I though they’re my friends, they’re suppose to have my back but I guess I misunderstood that friendship.“Let’s forget about what happen earlier in the mean time, and enjoy our vacation. We can bad mouth Harry later.” Faye said to lighten up the mood. I nodded as a response.“I booked different for the four

10

10Earlier when Asher almost confess made my stomach turn, and made me run to the nearest bathroom to puke. It was humiliating as Asher followed me and he even help and hold my hair while I’m puking all the alcohol on my system.I wanted to disappear when I was done but that wasn’t the case because he help me until we get to our room, we found Faye and Blaine on the bed.I took a bath and now I’m lying on the bed perfectly still to avoid getting close to him. He’s wide awake and I can feel it because he’s lying in his back looking at me.I didn’t know how I manage to feel as sleep but good thing when I woke up there were no sign of Asher. That day, we went home early than usual as we have call the next day.“It was so fun, it’s just sad how fast we left.”As expected everyone is talking about the field trip. We didn’t really have class today but today is the first day we’ll practice for our graduation day. I’m actually very thrilled as we’ll most spend out time in the covered court.W

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