Lahat ng Kabanata ng Carrying the Beast Child: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

ReclaimMaingay ang paligid. Naririnig ko ang mahinang kalabog sa pasilyo, ang tunog ng mga nurse na nag-uusap, mga pinto na bumubukas at sumasara. Sa bawat kaluskos, parang may sumusulpot na alaala. Pero ako, nananatiling tahimik. Tulala. Nakaupo ako sa gilid ng kama, nakatingin sa labas ng bintana. Wala naman akong makitang bago—pareho pa rin ang pader, ang rehas, ang langit na kulay-abo. Pero kahit alam kong wala roon ang hinahanap ko, hindi ko maiwasang tumingin. Baka sakaling... may makita.Bigla kong narinig ang pagbukas ng pinto. Maingat, parang pinilit hindi gumawa ng ingay. Si Nurse Kamila. Hawak niya ang isang itim na tray—alam ko na agad: pagkain, gamot. Palagi. Ganon palagi.Lumapit siya sa akin. Banayad ang galaw, parang naglalakad sa manipis na yelo.“Stella, kumain ka na muna,” malumanay niyang sabi at ngumiti sakin.Nilapag niya ang tray sa maliit na mesa. Puting kanin, pritong ulam, tubig. Sa tabi, ang maliit na tasa ng gamot—antipsychotic, mood stabilizer, at pangkal

ProtectThe next day, my son came home from school in tears.He didn’t say anything at first—just dropped his bag by the door and stormed into his room. I knocked, called his name, but he didn’t answer. I didn’t push. He locked himself in for the rest of the afternoon.Later, the school called. That’s when I found out what happened. Leandro had gotten into a fistfight with a classmate. He lost two of his front teeth.They said he was being bullied. His classmates found out that Leandro was my son—the son of the supermodel. That was all it took. They said cruel things to him. Called me names. Laughed at him like he was a joke. One of them even sneered, "You don’t have a dad—just a famous mom who takes her clothes off for the camera."He snapped.When things had finally gone quiet upstairs, I gently knocked on his door again before slowly opening it. He was curled up on his bed, hiding beneath his Spongebob blanket like he could disappear if he stayed still long enough.My heart broke.

ChasingGrowing up, I never knew what love felt like—not even the faintest trace of affection from my mother. What she felt toward me wasn't warmth. It was rage. Contempt. A festering, violent disgust that clung to every breath she took in my presence.To her, I wasn't a child. I was a curse.The spawn of the man who shattered her.The son of a rapist.Her abuser.And every time she looked at me, it was like she was staring into the eyes of the devil who had ruined her.She reminded me every single day that I should've never existed.But she chose to have me. She chose to bring me into this world.Not to love me.Not to raise me.But to destroy me.To use my existence as a vessel for her fury. A breathing, bleeding outlet for her agony and hatred.I wasn't her child.I was her revenge.Her loathing was never quiet. It screamed through every glance, every word, every deafening silence that lasted days. It spilled from her hands, from her clenched jaw, from the way she'd flinch at the s

BeastDahil sa pagkamatay ng kapatid kong babae, lalo pang lumala ang amahin ko.Kung dati ako lang ang pinagbubuhatan niya ng kamay, ngayon pati sina Alessandro at Cleandro ay nadadamay na rin sa bawat pagsiklab ng galit niya.Lagi siyang lasing. Palaging mabigat ang kanyang mga yabag, palaging may bitbit na sinturon, bote, o dos por dos—parang laging may gustong patayin.Isa pang malakas na hampas ng dos por dos sa likod ko ang nagpabagsak sa akinWala na akong lakas para tumayo.Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko habang nakabaluktot sa sahig, pero wala iyong silbi.Marahas niya akong sinisipa sa tagiliran, sa sikmura—walang awa, walang tigil.Akala ko tapos na. Akala ko nakaraos na siya. Pero mali ako.Isang napakalakas na hampas pa ng dos por dos sa sentido ko ang nagpalabo ng paningin ko.May dumaloy na dugo mula sa aking noo, at nagsimulang manginig ang buong katawan ko. Hindi ko na alam kung dahil sa sakit, takot, o lamig.Naduwal ako. Sumuka ng dugo.Pinunasan ko ang bibig ko habang gal

ChaseI shoved him hard.Pinaghahampas ko ang kanyang dibdib—furious, trembling, eyes wild with everything I've held in for far too long.Again. Again.Fists colliding with his chest like maybe I could shake the memories loose—maybe I could punish him enough to silence the echo of his name in my head."Fuck you!""I fucking hate you!""You're so full of yourself, you son of a bitch!""You traumatized me! You fucking ruined me! I loathe you—I loathe you to death!"He didn't move.Didn't flinch.Didn't stop me.He just stood there—silent, tense, jaw locked—eyes never leaving mine, like every scream from me was something sacred."You don't get to stand there like that," I spat. "Like this doesn't tear you apart. You don't get to act calm while I'm drowning in everything you left behind!"His voice came low, dangerous in its stillness."It does tear me apart. You do. Every fucking day."He took a step forward—slow, controlled, like a wolf who knew exactly how close he could get before I'd