Lahat ng Kabanata ng The Affair Baby : Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

I dreamed about the first day I met Blaine. I knew it was a dream, but it did not in any way lighten the sensations I felt. The light feeling in my chest that made my whole body tingly.Everything played out in my mind the same way the events had happened in those three days, almost like I was watching a movie. I have heard that this only happens to people when they are about to die. Was I about to die? If that was true, why would my happiest memory be the day I met Blaine?It did not make any sense to my unconscious mind why this would be the most important memory my brain could have stored. The day I had Oliver was the best day of my life.Why could my brain not show me that? That would have been comforting if I was going to die. There was nothing comforting about seeing myself in a tight skirt and an uncomfortable white shirt; the wait staff uniform of the remote company who had hired us for the event, and delivered the outfit to our doorsteps after we passed the interview we h

When I stepped into Blaine’s room that first night, with a tea tray in hand, the party long over, he was on the phone, by his window. It sounded like he was trying to see reason with someone, convince them about something. I would later realize that had been Ophelia, the arrogant Miss World.He was trying to convince her to get back with him, and end their break, but she was rude to him and hung up.At the time, though, I only saw a man with deep sadness. He looked exhausted instead of angry.“Thank you.” He said gently, and walked over to sit on a couch in the seating area of the bedroom. I nodded and said nothing, my shy personality already making me want to run away.But I stayed put and made his tea with careful, steady hands, although he was watching me the whole time.I straightened up when I was done, and remained standing straight as he brought the cup up to his lips. I noticed then how full his lips were. An odd thing in this country.He caught me looking as he lowered th

“What?” My supervisor asked, looking up at me.“I would like to take a tea tray up,” I said, trying to sound confident. I could feel some of the girls snickering in the corner as they watched this, but I kept my eyes only on my supervisor.“But he did not ask for you.” My supervisor said in confusion and someone actually laughed at that, but when my supervisor turned furious eyes at her, she blushed and began to cough instead.So my suspicions were true. They knew. Everyone knew and had probably been laughing about it all day. My shame tripled. But I could not turn and leave now. I had gone too far already. I was here, so I had to see it through.“I know,” I said, looking at the woman evenly.“You know? But still want to go?” She asked, looking at me in even more confusion.I nodded even though I began to feel my face going red from embarrassment and maybe some unshed tears, “I do.” I somehow managed to say in a clear voice.Everyone in the large kitchen was watching us like it wa

When I think back to my one night with Blaine, it always leaves me confused. I know I will always regret it, but I am never sure what exactly it is that I regret.I would never regret conceiving my sons. Although I never got to meet my other boy, I loved and still love him fiercely. I mourn that we did not get to meet, and I will never know what it feels like to love him, and be loved by him.As for my Oliver, I love him more than I do anyone else in this world. I would die a thousand deaths before I would let anyone hurt him, and even then, my soul would still claw out of the grave to continue fighting. So I did not regret the pregnancy. I did not regret the sex either. It was a beautiful experience. The best I have had even till this moment. It was more making love than having sex, but somehow it still managed to be very hot.So, again, what about that night do I have regrets about? Did I perhaps wish things had worked out differently? When my lips expressed that I would nev

Ophelia was looking at Blaine with pleading eyes. Hoping he would just open his heart to listen. But he was not even looking at her, as his eyes scanned the room, taking in all the smashed decorative pieces and furniture.He shook his head once as his eyes followed the trail of destruction. And when he looked back at her, she could see the confusion in his eyes still. Like he was seeing her for the very first time.Like he did not know her.“Honey.” She walked forward to take his hand, but Blaine took two quick steps back like she was some monster.“Please.” She stumped a foot on the floor in frustration as tears welled up in her eyes. “Just listen.” Why was her luck so rotten? Why would Blaine come in, at that exact moment? Why had he not walked in earlier or later?He looked away from her now and went to their room. She hurried after him, too scared to say another word, trembling with fear and wondering if this was it. She gasped when she entered their walk-in closet to see hi