All Chapters of I Am Mustafin: Chapter 111 - Chapter 120

Steam curls around me as I step out of the shower, gently patting my body dry with a white towel. My hand swipes across the fogged glass, creating a window to a truth I’ve been too blind to see.When did I get so thin?The question echoes in my mind as I study my reflection. My collarbones cast shadows I don’t remember being there before, my ribs visible beneath skin that seems stretched too tight. I’ve been so consumed by the growing space between Efrem and me, so haunted by Tavin’s ghost, that I missed the obvious signs my body’s been trying to show me.One month. I missed my cycle one month ago and didn’t even notice.How could I not notice?My fingers trail down my torso, stopping at my lower belly. The curve is subtle—barely there at all—but now that I’m looking for it, I can see it. A gentle swell that wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else, but to me…Our baby.The thought makes my hands tremble. I turn sideways, studying my profile in the mirror. The swell is more noticeable fr

Content Advisory: This chapter contains depictions of emotional manipulation, intense possessive behavior, and sexual intimacy involving elements of power dynamics and blurred boundaries that may be triggering to some. Reader discretion is strongly advised.The walk back to our suite feels endless. My heartbeat hasn’t slowed since dinner, since I sat beside Efrem and played the perfect, obedient wife while carrying a secret that could destroy everything.It’s over. Now, there’s just… tomorrow.The door closes behind us with a soft click that seems to echo in my bones, each sound that follows—the soft whisper of fabric, the familiar cadence of his breathing—feeling both achingly familiar and unbearably foreign.Efrem’s presence behind me makes the room feel smaller, more intimate than it did this morning. It’s like gravity has shifted everything toward him. Even me, even now, after five weeks of distance, my body responds to his proximity like a compass finding north.I move to the van

My hands shake slightly as I apply the last touches of makeup, carefully concealing the shadows under my eyes. I look polished, put-together—exactly what a Ringleader’s wife should be. But all I can think about is how empty the bed was when I woke this morning.Efrem had come back late last night, but he rose before dawn, got ready, and left.Still better than the way we live back home… At least he slept beside me.I stare at the pill in my palm, remembering Amara’s instructions—one every six hours, it will get me through my time here, it’s safe for the baby. My fingers curl around it protectively before I place it on my tongue, washing it down with water that tastes stale.Just get through today.But even as I think it, anxiety claws at my throat. Because today isn’t just another day of Efrem’s silence or hiding my growing secret. Today is the meeting—the one Kane’s been waiting for.A knock at the door makes me jump, scattering my thoughts. I’m not sure who I’m expecting, but I’m su

Rain drums against the car windows as lightning flashes and rolls across the sky. Normally, I’d find the storm unsettling, but nothing could be more unsettling than the storm of tension raging in the car. The leather seat between Efrem and me feels wider than it did when we left the Diallo mansion, though nothing has physically changed. Hours of silence stretch behind us like the dark road ahead, broken only by the rhythmic sweep of windshield wipers.I keep my eyes fixed on the window, watching rivers of water track patterns across glass. It’s easier than catching Efrem’s reflection. The storm grew steadily as we drove, starting as a gentle mist and building to this downpour that turns the world beyond our headlights into sheets of grey.My stomach rolls slightly as Alek takes a curve too fast, and I have to swallow hard against the familiar nausea. Amara’s medication wore off hours ago, but I couldn’t risk taking another pill with Efrem watching. He’s been too observant lately, stud

Content Advisory: This chapter contains depictions of emotional manipulation, trauma bonding, self-blame, and power dynamics within a toxic relationship. Reader discretion is advised.The ache in my cheek has dulled to a persistent throb, but every time I catch my reflection, the bruising draws my eye like a beacon. Even now, standing in before the bathroom sink after a shower that couldn’t wash away the memory of last night, I find myself touching the tender flesh—not because it hurts, but because I still can’t believe it happened.My fingers trace the edges of the bruise, remembering how his hand felt against my skin. Not the strike itself—that’s still a blur of shock and pain—but the way he grabbed me afterward. The way his fingers found my throat, how even in his fury, something made him pull back.He could have killed me. He wanted to kill me.But he didn’t.The thought loops endlessly as I stare at the bathroom sink, my damp hair dripping onto silk pajamas that feel too fine aga