All Chapters of Never the Way We Were: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

Stellan was quiet for a long time before answering, his voice sounding raw. "No matter what happens, we will always be the closest of friends."Thea ran off in tears. "I won't come looking for you again. When you've made up your mind, take it and go find my mentor."Lying on the floor in a daze, I found myself drifting back to the year I turned 13. I had come home from the school for the blind covered in bruises.Stellan had been furious. He was a bright kid with no reason to be there, but he insisted on transferring just to stay by my side. To keep up with the standard curriculum on his own, he never slept a full night.When I was 15, Mom remarried. She held my hands and sobbed."Elara, your new stepfather can't help me raise a blind child. Being your mother has been so hard. You understand that, don't you?"Stellan was taken in for your sake in the first place. He should be the one looking after you."Mom dragged her suitcase out the door and left the old house and Stellan beh

The fire spread quickly. The smoke had me choking on the floor, and the burns had gone deep enough that the pain stopped registering. I sobbed and clawed my way toward the door."Elara Langley, you worthless piece of garbage, do not die in here!"If Stellan came back and found a charred body, he would never recover from it.The words flashed urgently, guiding me. "This way, over here! Move this way!"I crawled as fast as I could in the direction the words pointed, but the air was already gone. My consciousness slipped away.When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Stellan arrived soon after, and Thea came with him.Stellan murmured, sounding drained. "I was gone for one day. How did you manage to do this to yourself again?"My hands twisted against each other. "I'm sorry..."A police officer laid into Stellan. "What kind of guardian are you? How could you leave a blind person home alone? Do you have any idea she nearly burned to death?"I tried to speak up for him, but Stellan's

"Her burns were already severe. Being submerged in ice water on top of that…"She'll need skin grafts."Stellan lowered his head, blank-faced. He rolled up his pant leg and looked at the skin on his own thigh."Can you use mine?"Thea burst in at that moment. She was in love with Stellan, and she could not bear to see his talent wasted. In the end, she had not been able to bring herself to leave."No! Stellan, you said it yourself! You've paid back everything you owe her. Why would you hurt yourself for her?"Have you forgotten what she said? She only saved you so she could keep you as her dog!"Stellan's gaze drifted past her, hollow."You know, that day, I knew every word she said was a lie. So why do you think I was so stubborn about pushing her away?"Stellan was looking at Thea, but it was as though he did not really see her."Why was I so determined to push her away that day?"He dug his fingers into his own thigh until the skin went white.He thought back to that aft

Thea laughed through her tears."Is this how she destroyed the hand you used to paint with? How many more hands do you have left for her to ruin?"I had hurt Thea's hand? The guilt crushed me like a wave."I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just saw a path and I wanted to walk on it."I didn't know. I didn't know she was..."Stellan cut me off, his voice cold and laced with disgust. "Enough."Elara, you're blind. What path could you possibly see?"His voice twisted until it no longer sounded like his own."Wasn't it enough that my painting hand was destroyed?"Please, tell me. How many more people's futures have to pay for yours?"I stood frozen, stammering apology after apology.Right. I was blind. What had made me think I could see?Stellan gathered Thea up in a panic and rushed her to the hospital. When he passed me, he did not say a word. He did not so much as glance in my direction. He left me standing alone in the empty hallway.I did not dare try again. I felt my way along

"She's a wonderful girl. She's no trouble at all."I stood there holding the trash bag and sighed.Stellan. Of course he was behind this.Leah turned around as she hung up the phone and met my blank, sightless eyes.Her voice was tinged with worry. "Elara..."I smiled at her. "Leah, it's fine. There's still a bowl of pasta left over. Tell him to come up and eat."Stellan came upstairs but stood outside the door for a long time before he worked up the nerve to knock.I smiled in the direction of the doorway."Stel, you're here. You must be hungry. Come eat, tell me what you think."My voice was light and easy, as though he had just come home from work. Stellan pulled out a chair and sat down without a word.He shoveled the pasta into his mouth in big, hurried bites. His tears fell straight onto the plate of food.I waited quietly for him to finish.When he spoke, his voice was choked. "Elara, if a swallow loses its way... can it still fly home?"When he had been abandoned a