Who Wrote The Best Elf Quotes Funny In The Book?

Seven Classic Faery Tales are given a very adult makeover. You are entering a world of myth, magic, and Immortals. Throw in the humans for the added spice of erotica and violence. Mix together and you have dark adult faery tales ........ Do not read if easily offended!

This isn’t your merry little Christmas , it’s your dirtiest one yet. Dirty Christmas unwraps every forbidden fantasy you’ve ever wanted to taste. From strangers under mistletoe to sinful nights by the fire, every page drips with heat, hunger, and raw, unapologetic pleasure. These short stories are filthy, fast, and meant to leave you breathless, one by one, they’ll melt your holiday spirit into desire. If you’re not into adult, mature, and explicit erotica, don’t open this book. But if you’re ready to sin in red and gold… welcome to your next obsession. You can also check out my other erotica book (Deep inside)

A holiday of raw, dirty pleasures. A collection of forbidden desires brought to life. A Christmas spent in Sin and dirty fantasies. A collection filled with hot, passionate and steamy sex. Are you ready for this rollercoaster of undiluted and unfiltered tale that'll leave you breathless, aching and sinful?. If you're not 🔞 kindly scroll past this book.

"What happens when you meet a tall and handsome elf king who has saved your life but kill your temper?" ~*~*~*~ "I'm more of a man in this house. Why can't you let me be on top?" Sean asked with a pout. Oswin groaned, rolling his eyes and wondering just how much more innocent Sean could be. "It takes a heavy responsibility to be the top," he replied. "Responsibility? Then it's perfect. I'm making more money, cooking,..." "Sean. I'm talking about things like stretching and penetrating," Oswin explained as he ignored the bulge in his pants. "Do you even have experience?” “Then teach me, your majesty.” “With pleasure.” ~*~*~*~ It all starts when the elf king, Oswin Alvingham, mysteriously gets stuck in the human realm and loses his powers. As he roams the unfamiliar一dirty and low class if he is to describe Earth, he stumbles into Sean Cooper, a fresh graduate, and a full-time table-waiter, who gets bullied in the alley. Though Oswin's magical power is lost, his physical strength remains invincible. When he rescues Sean, the latter decides to take him in as gratitude. And that is where the mess begins. How can the king of the elf cope with his new life? How can Sean convince himself not to be evil enough to kick his savor out of his house? Most importantly, how do an average mortal and the noble upper-class immortal live together under the same roof and on the same bed? ~*~*~*~* P.S: 1) This book contains mature and explicit 18+ scenes. 2) It also contains little graphic violence in some chapters, but I'll put a warning on the top of those chapters. 3) The ELF here is inspired by Lord of The Ring Series. Therefore, they are tall, slender and beautiful. Not tiny little beings like in children fairy tales.]

While exploring the wilderness, my younger sister—Charlotte Forrester—and I accidentally stumble onto the territory of supernatural beings. She grabs the hand of the noble, elegant male elf, her posture coy and intimate. Before I can react, a wolfman with a scar on his face wraps his arm around my waist and leads me away. Charlotte, who judges others by appearance, is unaware that the male elf—Elwin Duskwood—belongs to a tribe of half-elves. Half-elves are beautiful but possess no real capabilities. They are considered a marginalized group among elves and struggle to make ends meet every day. On the other hand, the wolfman—Morgan Nightshade—is a mid-tier wolf tribe's Highlord. After giving birth to an extremely rare silver wolf for him, I have become the Highlady of the tribe. I'm respected by everyone in the tribe and feast on delicacies every day. Meanwhile, Charlotte becomes emaciated after suffering from starvation for several months. When she sees how plump I am, she goes insane from jealousy. While the wolf tribe is entertaining guests at a banquet, she uses poison to kill me. The next time I open my eyes, Charlotte and I are back at the moment we first entered the supernatural beings' territory by mistake. Charlotte immediately hugs Morgan by the waist and kisses him. She showers him with flattery about his strength, calling him the man of her dreams. I can't help but laugh out loud. Silly Charlotte. As a wolfman, Morgan is ill-tempered, and he easily loses control of his emotions. He also becomes even more bloodthirsty after transforming. It's not all sunshine and rainbows being his mate. But I never imagined the elves could be so… in that regard.

“We’re equals, remember? And you’re the king.” He pulled her onto his lap, his right hand gripping her thigh. Their faces were so close, Violet could see the flecks of gold lingering in his irises. “To me, you’re king, Violet Bellerose.” *** Violet Bellerose lives in a jealous, elven world where everyone from royals to bounty hunters are after her unique ability to amplify magic to incredible heights. When she saves the Storm King from an assassin, Violet earns a post at his side as bodyguard, unaware they have begun to unravel each other’s secrets. Forgotten lovers, turbulent powers, and a political marriage push and pull at king and bodyguard. Their bond must strengthen to withstand court rivalries and the enemies at their borders. With only each other to lean on, they face the Blood King together and labor through every obstacle to make it to their coronation. The Elf King and His Bodyguard is created by Hayden Marlowe, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.