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Barbarian's Rejected Luna

Barbarian's Rejected Luna

The man didn't stop. "I..let go.." pausing in front of her, the barbarian bent and leveled with her face. She flinched back in panic. However, she couldn't resist looking into the eyes of her attacker. And when she did, her breathing staggered uncomfortably. His intimidating hazel orbs sent thousands currents of both excitement and dread down her spine. They were, no doubt, the most stunning set of eyes she had ever seen but also the most dangerous ones for they were clouded with evil and darkness. There was no gentleness in them. They promised destruction if provoked. The thought gave her no comfort.
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SLeo
Really great story but the constant typos and weird grammar spoils the flow. Strong FL. Some drama about the war, witch and William would have made the story more interesting though as there is no epic climax but just a sweet, quite ending. Please get your story edited
K_Mikaelson
while she's strong and fierce she's also compassionate and empathetic towards others, so she's born to rule. I hope she doesn't give in to him easily, I also hope when the time comes she'll listen & strategies the plan properly to bring her enemies down with or without Ryker's help...
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Tears of Sorrow

Tears of Sorrow

But something kept pushing those images away, everytime I could start to feel them stirring in my mind. The cold would become painful, making me cry out as it reeked havoc on my eyes and mind. " Oh my dear Sarah, I need you to open those beautiful eyes of yours. I need you to watch, as I suck the life out of your precious mate," it screeched in my ears, causing me to flinch, as it had every other time. But, this time it's words had changed at the end, as if on instinct I cried out " Nooooo!" my eyes ripped open and I looked into the most haunting pair of eyes I have ever seen. Redder then blood and darker then the shadows that cast through the night, it stared back into mine. Seething with a
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CAGED: IN HIS LOVE

CAGED: IN HIS LOVE

Scared to see his pitch dark blue eyes which were filled with killing intent as he wants to strangle her to death. She reminisced about the moment of the past when he grabbed her neck, nearly choking her to death. That day, she was frightened to see his dark blue eyes filled with killing intent as she was now. Today he was looking at the same DEVIL as he looked at that day. He was staring at her with his bloodshot red eyes. It was like his stare was piercing through her soul.
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M.Z. Mauve
pretty good start. enough descriptive imagery. the blurb was okay. seems like there's enough conflict to keep the story interesting. the blurb needs some proofreading, as well as the first chapters (typos, tense consistency issues, punctuation, etc.). overall, nice work
krushandkill
The synopsis hints that this story has more in it than it seems. The chapters need some editing, but nothing that damages the story as it is right now. The ML is easily hated, but I bet there is more about him than the first chapters shows.
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Contracted To Marry The Alpha King

Contracted To Marry The Alpha King

Then, from the shadows emerged a pair of glowing eyes, their intensity piercing through the darkness. Samantha's breath caught as she stared into the eyes of the creature before her, her mind struggling to comprehend what she was seeing. It was a wolf, but unlike any she had ever encountered. Its fur was as black as the night, blending seamlessly with the shadows around it, and its eyes seemed to gleam with an otherworldly light. She took a cautious step back, her instincts screaming at her to flee. But as she turned to run, she realized with a sinking feeling that she was surrounded. More pairs of glowing eyes stared back at her from the darkness, their presence sending a chill down her spi
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Their Sinful Claim

Their Sinful Claim

I shrieked in fear when I felt their hands on my hair and I finally saw their presence before me. Red, dark and dangerous. It made me swallow harsh intake of hair as their canines were out, ready to devour me. “She smells good too, a nice neck at that. “Let's take her home, enough talking. The blood moon is making my throat burn dry.” I stared at the desperate one with Auburn hair and black eyes, they all had black eyes making them look extremely scary and different and hiding the beauty they were supposed to possess. “You might not want to do that!” I replied boldly even though I was shaking and vibrating within.
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A Hidden Omega

A Hidden Omega

His eyes are wide and blown, and his brows are drawn together as if he can't understand what just happened. His eyes - or the strange thing that's hovering over them - however, is a different story. Alex happy eyes has disappeared in the wake of his frozen fear. The amber, Alpha eyes are staring unseen at the spot Win has just violently vacated. But there is something unknown in there, watching...leering through the Alpha's gaze. Those are the same obsidian swirls Win had glimpsed earlier after Alex kill people. Those black tendrils are like smoke, clouding the shine of Alpha eyes with something alien...something unpleasant and evil.
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Emma: The Forgotten Luna

Emma: The Forgotten Luna

Screaming, she looked around for help when something caught her eye that snatched the land beneath her feet. Eyes. Multiple hungry eyes hiding in the shadows were glaring at her from a distance. She stiffened in her place. All the blood got drained from her face. Wolves. They were wolves. Terrified, she hurriedly looked at Damien but her breath hitched when her bloodshot eyes fell on his bare canines. His beautiful steely orbs were no longer in sight. Just like that blood-curdling view, she was met with a pair of exceptionally beautiful but deadly powerful golden eyes gazing at her ferociously. The brilliance emanating from them made her heart go into overdrive but his expression wasn’t amia
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Hotter Than Hell

Hotter Than Hell

It's seriously driving me insane. From what I could see in the dark with his small flashlight, he's at least six feet tall, with just the right amount of muscle on a lean frame. His short-sleeved shirt hugged a sculpted chest and his jeans looked painted on. His short, light brown hair accentuated a prominent jaw with the perfect amount of scruff on his chin. He's gorgeous in an underwear model sort of way. At least until you reach his eyes. When the light reflected off them, I almost stepped back. They're pale green, almost startling if you don't look into their cold, lifeless depths. Pools of darkness lurked in the round orbs, so strong, it scared the fucking shit out of me. I've grown up
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Wolfsbane - Finding The Wolf Within

Wolfsbane - Finding The Wolf Within

For there, just beyond the trees, in the darkness of the night, glowing in the light of the fire was a pair of dark yellow eyes, no wait that wasn’t the right color, but her brain was too tired to identify it, that stared right at her frozen form. Alexa watched the eyes in fear, waiting for it to attack. Those dark yellow – no amber, a voice in the back of her mind whispered – eyes were one of the most beautiful pairs of eyes that Alexa had ever seen. Yet, no matter how beautiful they were, there was a hint of absolute danger lurking behind the beauty of their eyes. It was as if they were telling her to love them, but not to trust them, to cherish them, but not to let her guard down around t
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