Funny Audiobooks Novels & Stories

Three hours after my engagement banquet ended, I was stuffed into a burlap sack and thrown straight into the ocean. By the time deep-sea divers found me, my body had swollen into something grotesque and barely recognizable. The police called my fiancé right away to come identify the remains, but he could not have sounded less interested. "So, she's dead. So what? I'll show up at the funeral when the time comes." Left with no choice, the police dialed the second starred contact in my phone. It was my own brother. He laughed so hard that he doubled over. "Dead? Last I checked, it's not April Fools'. Not a funny joke. And do me a favor. Tell Selene Corvin I couldn't care less about her corpse. Throw it back in the ocean to feed the fish. I don't care." He did not know that I did end up as fish food for a very long time. The moment my remains appeared on that massive screen, however, both my fiancé and my brother lost their minds.

They call it Area Alpha 101. It doesn’t appear on the world map or the satellites, but it’s rumoured to be there. It’s unofficially the largest continent on Earth, but the humans aren’t educated on it. Only the top shots in the governments and monarchies know about it, but have kept it a secret from everyone else. No-one answers questions regarding it. People have been quoted saying that they tried to get in, but they only hit a barrier. This barrier is said to be invisible, yet you can’t see what’s on the other side. For centuries, no-one has been able to get past the barrier, and those who try, come away ‘bewitched’, or so it has been reported. You know what the funny part about this is? There are literally signs that say “NO HUMANS ALLOWED” just a distance away from the ‘barrier’. You can imagine the insane theories that the human civilization has come up with in regards to what they imagine could be behind the barrier. The biggest guess as you yourself would probably guess is aliens; but that’s just it – NO-ONE knows what’s behind the barrier. Except me that is. Or so I thought.

I need a wife. Now. It doesn’t have to do with love and living the good life. This is all about getting the money my billionaire father left to me. And I’m running out of time. But who proposes to a stranger after the first date? Me. That’s who. As if I have another choice. Luck is on my side though, and a beautiful model shows up in my office. Single? Gorgeous? Funny? All of the above. Our first date goes so well that I feel unsure about my decision to do this thing with her—you know, fake it. I put it off and decide to do it later, to ask for her help after we get to know each other better. But I like her more and more each time we meet, and eventually, offering her a ring isn’t for my dad’s money—it’s because I want her more than anything else in the world. Besides, who’s going to know if it’s fake or real? And does it really matter? Yeah. It does. To her…

At my wedding with my childhood sweetheart, Zoe Sutherland, I see live comments in front of my eyes all of a sudden. "This is so funny! The male supporting lead doesn't even know that the bride is a fake one! The actual female lead, Zoe, is actually keeping the male lead company in the hospital!" "It doesn't matter who the bride is! The female lead just wants to get married for the sake of her company's funds! After all, this story is about childhood sweetheart losing to the true love who's come out of nowhere!" "The female lead will end up screwing the male supporting lead's life over. Jeez, now I feel a little bad for him." Concealing the shock in my eyes, I go through the rest of the wedding while pretending to be kept in the dark about the truth. I don't want to become the stepping stone that will tie the two main leads together as the cannon fodder who dies a horrible death. Since Zoe doesn't want to marry me at all, I might as well marry the fake bride for real.

Sasha was beautiful, kind, strong—and wickedly funny—until the night everything was taken from her. She watched helplessly as her family and pack were slaughtered by their enemies, the Shadowmoon pack. Her father, the Alpha. Her mother, the Luna. Her home, the Whitemoon pack—gone in blood and fire. With nothing left but rage and grief, Sasha makes a vow: she will avenge her family, even if it means turning her back on pack life and becoming a rogue. Damien is the Alpha Prime—the Alpha of all Alphas. Cold, ruthless, and unforgiving, he rules the Nightstone pack, the strongest pack in existence. Known for his merciless treatment of rogues and trespassers, Damien is feared across all territories. At twenty-five, he remains mateless—an anomaly in the werewolf world. Many believe the Moon Goddess has spared any wolf from being bound to such a heartless Alpha… or so they think. Two broken souls. One ruthless destiny. What happens when a vengeful rogue crosses paths with the most dangerous Alpha alive? And what twisted fate has the Moon Goddess planned when enemies, power, and passion collide?

On the day I drive home from my business trip, I find out that my husband, Matthew Channing, has occupied my parking slot. His SUV is parked haphazardly between two parking slots, leaving me without any space to park my own car at all. I find it funny that Matthew is such a klutz when it comes to things like this. So, I take a video of the situation and upload it to the Internet. Little do I know that it will go viral shortly afterward. Thinking that everyone will laugh at Matthew with me, I'm surprised when I see the comment section. "Don't tell me you got tricked by your husband for real! It's obvious that he has a mistress at home with him right now! Once you reach home and call him to move his car, he'll know that you're back!" "Lady, leave the car be! What's more important right now is the mistress in your bed!" "Do not call your husband and tell him to move his car no matter what! Right now, you have to go home and catch him in the act!"

The things that have to happen in the universe to lead us to a very particular moment in time are often a mystery but for Pearl and Corey, just getting them in the same room isn’t enough. They both fight their attraction to each other for different reasons, but their fire is an eruption in the making. Pearl has a nine to five during the day, but plays the guitar and dreams of making it big at night. Her long time fiance and her best friend have a nasty secret that forever alters her life. Corey is a bass player in the hard rock band Feisty, determined to be a bachelor for life even though two of his best friends have tied the knot. Can these two come together and accept that the universe is determined to win? **This is book three of five, of my Feisty series. This can be read as a stand alone book but you will be better able to follow if you read them in order.**

There were five things I was absolutely certain I wouldn't miss even if I became blind: -The first one was the fact that I was a slave and my life would never go back to the way it was. -The Second one was the Duke who bought me was a dragon hiding his identity for a reason I didn't know. Weren't dragons supposed to be powerful and all? Using his race might give him a huge advantage in politics. -The third one I was certain the Duke was hungry for me and I started to love him. Furthermore, he was cursed and the cursed ones didn't live for more than a year. Conquering him was a lost cause; a battle with less than 50% of success. However… Was it really necessary to label numbers on everything that was happening? -The Fourth one: Was it really necessary for Dotoria, the human land, to curse the other races existing within its borders? I wasn't confident about the statement. Nonetheless, everyone was looking for a wish granter gem. The nine kingdoms collided eying the gemstone like a prize for dominion. -The Fifth one had the magic of belief in it; Do you work on your dream or stay back hiding behind a smoke of mist fearing failure? I wanted to escape but I gradually lost interest in it. The world was a mystery in my eyes and I was taught to never engage in a battle with less than 50% of success. Do I even have a dream because the only thing I wished for was the reason I was a slave. People were driven by dreams and goals and I didn't have one yet.

As a rogue Lizzie is constantly looking over her shoulder, never able to stay in one place for too long. That is until Evan walks into the diner she is working. The Moon Goddess had other plans for her!

"Can I kiss you?" Asked Mr. Harold, the Mathematics teacher who has been the subject of lusty daydreaming of my best friend, Zetta, and other female students. “Eh? Nooooo!” I answered nervously. We are in the gym. "Why?" He asked he dared to ask?! Duh! "You are a teacher and I am your student...duh." I take it as my way out of the gym. He asked me to talk inside the building?! Huh... I should know better, than not trusting any human with a penis! Why? Because they are the real pervert. That teacher dared to ask for a kiss? He is granted for a great punch, kicks or maybe slap? That was the very first time of my nightmare in high school, he stole my first kiss and stole my great-teen-life.