Funny Punchline Novels & Stories

Age is just a number. Or at least that's what Maxwell Cooper thinks whenever he hits on his best friend's mother, Amanda, who is very much divorced and extremely attractive in his eyes. Amanda, highly aware of the obvious infatuation that Maxwell has on her, tries to avoid his advances towards her given their conflicting age differences. She speculates that Maxwell's attraction towards older women is deeply rooted to fact that he might just have some 'Mommy issues'. Maxwell refutes the hypothesis by claiming that he's only attracted to her , not older women in general. Both are put to the test when Amanda , returning from yet another failed date one night, runs into Maxwell who notices the tears in her eyes and proceeds to comfort her. This leads to her inviting her to her house which would be a convenient move seeing as Zac, Maxwell's best friend and Amanda's son, had gone to visit his father in New York for the weekend, leaving her alone for the weekend. They end up sharing a bottle of wine, getting drunk while reminiscing on the simpler days. A kiss is shared during the vulnerable moment between these two, which would lead to regrets and broken friendships.

“Little lamb. You belong to me” he says, and those words fill me with a rage like I have never experienced before. He is Don Giovanni's son. They killed my family. He knew who I was the moment he met me tonight. Why did he not say anything? What game is he playing? “I belong to no one” I say. My body starts moving forward on its own, while my brain is still trying to catch up. My hand comes up and I slap Stefano across the face. HARD. Stefano looks shocked by my action, he grabs my hand and leans in, whispering in my ear. “I am coming for you Princess, like it or not, you ARE mine" he says, before turning on his heel to leave. Trapped in the dangerous game of the Mafia bosses, Aria is stuck between her feelings for the son of the man who raised her and the powerful Mafia Boss's son who she is forced to marry. Aria's father was the richest and most powerful man in the city. After her family was murdered Aria became the heir to the largest fortune in the whole of the west coast, giving the Boss who marries her unlimited power over the city. Stefano Moretti is determined to make Aria his, but there is another with the same intention.

Meet Emily Collins, the devoted secretary with a knack for mismatched fashion, and Oliver Sterling, the brilliant but enigmatic CEO. Their worlds collide when Oliver, facing an unexpected ultimatum from his grandfather, turns to Emily for an unconventional solution. While Emily dreams of saving a million dollars and bidding goodbye to her corporate life, Oliver's goal is to introduce his secret actress girlfriend to his family. Caught between family expectations and a reluctant girlfriend, Oliver proposes a daring deal to Emily: a six-month contract where she pretends to be his girlfriend. The offer comes with a tempting promise—enough money to fast-track Emily's savings goal. As the two plunge into their fake romance, cue the funny twist—Emily knows every quirk and detail about Oliver, right down to the size of his ring finger, but Oliver doesn't know a thing about Emily. With the lines between reality and pretense blurring, the stage is set for a romantic collision where one is poised to fall in love, and the other is destined to fall even harder.

Three years ago, Lucas’ mother paid me ten million dollars to play his fated mate with the help of a potion. Lucas believed I was hopelessly in love with him. What he didn’t know was that I was nothing more than a hired actress. By day, I stood at his side during training. By night, he paraded a she-wolf through the mansion. He once sneered, “Don’t delude yourself into thinking the mate bond can change me.” I only smiled, silently counting my money. “Funny, because I never planned on giving you my heart, either.” On the day the potion wore off, I walked away with the fortune, while he spiraled into madness. Three years later, I returned victorious as the youngest S-class strategy consultant. There he was, on his knees, murmuring, “I was wrong.” Little did Lucas know that his arrogance, handed out like charity, had carried a hefty price tag of ten million. Now, even if he lost everything, it still wouldn’t be enough to buy my forgiveness.

Three hours after my engagement banquet ended, I was stuffed into a burlap sack and thrown straight into the ocean. By the time deep-sea divers found me, my body had swollen into something grotesque and barely recognizable. The police called my fiancé right away to come identify the remains, but he could not have sounded less interested. "So, she's dead. So what? I'll show up at the funeral when the time comes." Left with no choice, the police dialed the second starred contact in my phone. It was my own brother. He laughed so hard that he doubled over. "Dead? Last I checked, it's not April Fools'. Not a funny joke. And do me a favor. Tell Selene Corvin I couldn't care less about her corpse. Throw it back in the ocean to feed the fish. I don't care." He did not know that I did end up as fish food for a very long time. The moment my remains appeared on that massive screen, however, both my fiancé and my brother lost their minds.

They call it Area Alpha 101. It doesn’t appear on the world map or the satellites, but it’s rumoured to be there. It’s unofficially the largest continent on Earth, but the humans aren’t educated on it. Only the top shots in the governments and monarchies know about it, but have kept it a secret from everyone else. No-one answers questions regarding it. People have been quoted saying that they tried to get in, but they only hit a barrier. This barrier is said to be invisible, yet you can’t see what’s on the other side. For centuries, no-one has been able to get past the barrier, and those who try, come away ‘bewitched’, or so it has been reported. You know what the funny part about this is? There are literally signs that say “NO HUMANS ALLOWED” just a distance away from the ‘barrier’. You can imagine the insane theories that the human civilization has come up with in regards to what they imagine could be behind the barrier. The biggest guess as you yourself would probably guess is aliens; but that’s just it – NO-ONE knows what’s behind the barrier. Except me that is. Or so I thought.

I need a wife. Now. It doesn’t have to do with love and living the good life. This is all about getting the money my billionaire father left to me. And I’m running out of time. But who proposes to a stranger after the first date? Me. That’s who. As if I have another choice. Luck is on my side though, and a beautiful model shows up in my office. Single? Gorgeous? Funny? All of the above. Our first date goes so well that I feel unsure about my decision to do this thing with her—you know, fake it. I put it off and decide to do it later, to ask for her help after we get to know each other better. But I like her more and more each time we meet, and eventually, offering her a ring isn’t for my dad’s money—it’s because I want her more than anything else in the world. Besides, who’s going to know if it’s fake or real? And does it really matter? Yeah. It does. To her…

On the day I drive home from my business trip, I find out that my husband, Matthew Channing, has occupied my parking slot. His SUV is parked haphazardly between two parking slots, leaving me without any space to park my own car at all. I find it funny that Matthew is such a klutz when it comes to things like this. So, I take a video of the situation and upload it to the Internet. Little do I know that it will go viral shortly afterward. Thinking that everyone will laugh at Matthew with me, I'm surprised when I see the comment section. "Don't tell me you got tricked by your husband for real! It's obvious that he has a mistress at home with him right now! Once you reach home and call him to move his car, he'll know that you're back!" "Lady, leave the car be! What's more important right now is the mistress in your bed!" "Do not call your husband and tell him to move his car no matter what! Right now, you have to go home and catch him in the act!"

Sasha was beautiful, kind, strong—and wickedly funny—until the night everything was taken from her. She watched helplessly as her family and pack were slaughtered by their enemies, the Shadowmoon pack. Her father, the Alpha. Her mother, the Luna. Her home, the Whitemoon pack—gone in blood and fire. With nothing left but rage and grief, Sasha makes a vow: she will avenge her family, even if it means turning her back on pack life and becoming a rogue. Damien is the Alpha Prime—the Alpha of all Alphas. Cold, ruthless, and unforgiving, he rules the Nightstone pack, the strongest pack in existence. Known for his merciless treatment of rogues and trespassers, Damien is feared across all territories. At twenty-five, he remains mateless—an anomaly in the werewolf world. Many believe the Moon Goddess has spared any wolf from being bound to such a heartless Alpha… or so they think. Two broken souls. One ruthless destiny. What happens when a vengeful rogue crosses paths with the most dangerous Alpha alive? And what twisted fate has the Moon Goddess planned when enemies, power, and passion collide?

At my wedding with my childhood sweetheart, Zoe Sutherland, I see live comments in front of my eyes all of a sudden. "This is so funny! The male supporting lead doesn't even know that the bride is a fake one! The actual female lead, Zoe, is actually keeping the male lead company in the hospital!" "It doesn't matter who the bride is! The female lead just wants to get married for the sake of her company's funds! After all, this story is about childhood sweetheart losing to the true love who's come out of nowhere!" "The female lead will end up screwing the male supporting lead's life over. Jeez, now I feel a little bad for him." Concealing the shock in my eyes, I go through the rest of the wedding while pretending to be kept in the dark about the truth. I don't want to become the stepping stone that will tie the two main leads together as the cannon fodder who dies a horrible death. Since Zoe doesn't want to marry me at all, I might as well marry the fake bride for real.