Keep Me Sane Novels & Stories

To give the justice they need 3 Although it's not great the way i planned 2 I know they're now happy and contented 1 They can definitely REST AND PEACE Nakangiti kong pinikit ang aking mata sa hinintay ang magiging mitsa ng aking buhay... ******* Dahan dahan kong imunulat ang aking mata ng marinig ko ang isang boses ng babae na hindi kalayuan sa akin. Sinubukan ko igalaw ang aking katawan ngunit hindi ko kinaya dahil sa sobrang sakit ng aking nararamdaman 'D*mn I am alive?!'

Worse, and more terrifying personality. I immediately felt fear and nervousness, not only for myself but also for others—For Theo, I was afraid I might get hurt or worst I might kill him! At that thought I seemed to come to my senses. "Calm down Hope, don't think anything. Peace your mind, don't let your guard down. You can fight it. You can." I said softly as I repeated it until I could return home. I immediately drank cold water to get acquainted with what was happening, I shouldn't have to think about things first. It won't happen if I'm afraid, I probably won't be able to do it again or have a new personality.

Hindi ko kasi talaga alam kung bakit ganoon ang daydream ko, it's very unusual especially we're not really in good terms. Hindi ko maintindihan ang pagbabago ng mood ko kapag nasa paligid siya. I can't think straight. I heavily sighed and forced to calm myself. Nag-inhale and exhale ako sa harap ng salamin at mahinang sinasampal ang sarili na para bang magigising sa kahibangan. I feel anxious yet calm at the same time but I still decided to come out.

mahinahong sagot ko. Bahagyang kumunot ang kanyang noo. "Then why did you suddenly cut me off?" "I was busy," simpleng sagot ko. I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy distracting myself. I was busy finding a way to relieve my anxiety. I was busy silencing all my irrational thoughts. I was busy watching my whole world fall apart. And I was busy telling myself it will all be okay.

Mahina akong natawa, at palagi namang ganito ang scenario na ako na naman ang muling nahuli sa amin. Simple lang ako ngumiti nang maramdaman ang tahimik ng paligid. This feels peaceful but sad at the same time. Peaceful because no one can enter your life and sad because you're just you, and no one can understand you. But for the sake of peace of mind, I would rather stay in that ideal kind of life. Well, I wished I can pick, but there's nothing I can do because here I am.

Pasimple akong napahinga nang malalim at saka ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa. “Kung sakaling hindi pa rin maayos ang pakiramdam mo hanggang mamayang gabi, huwag ka na munang pumasok bukas,” saad ko na lang para i-distract ang sarili ko. “Ako na ang bahalang magpaalam kay Perseus.”

Kinonsumo na naman ako ng pagaalala at 'di pagtitiwala sa sarili. Hindi ko na napigilang humagulgol habang nakayapos sa lunchbox ko. I feel cold that there's no one to give me warmth of comfort. Mag-isa na naman akong lumalaban. Naalala ko na naman lahat ng sinabing masasakit na salita ni Mama sa akin. It's consuming me again. Gusto kong tumakas sa galit. Pilit kong tinataboy ang galit sa sistema ko dahil iyon ang nagpapagulo sa utak ko. I don't feel at peace at all! I want my peace of mind! Just let me leave in peace...

madamdamin kong sabi. "At magdadrama ka na naman ba?" "Ngayon nga lang ulit ako nagdrama, bawal ba?" nguso ko. "Sanayin mo na lang ang huwag magdrama at huwag mag-overthink. Nakakasama iyan sa kalusugan mo," concern na sabi nito. Alam kasi nito na very emotional ako at nagkaroon ng depression, kaya mahina talaga ang loob ko. Kahit gusto ko man maging matapang, ay hindi ko magawa kapag umatake na ang anxiety at depression ko.

I hope I was wrong, ayaw kong mag isip ng kung anu-ano pero hindi ko maiwasan. "Calm down Celeste. Inhale....exhale...inhale....exhale" pinakalma ko puna ang sarili ko bago ako lumabas ng banyo. My eyes is a little bit swollen. I try to avoid Keith eyes, even I'm not looking at him I can sense that his confuse at marahan akong pinagmamasdan.