Sex Joke Novels & Stories

At the annual company raffle, I had barely stepped onto the stage when my supervisor, Lily Smith, pressed a crumpled slip of paper into my palm. "A special reward for our top salesperson," she chirped. "Go ahead, open it. Let everyone see." Under the eager gaze of the crowd, I unfolded the note. Written in messy handwriting were the words: Clean the company toilets for three days. The room erupted in laughter. Lily folded her arms, cocked her head, and smirked at me. "Nice, right?" she said. "Everyone knows those sales of yours came from sleeping with old men. Dirty money. To keep things fair, the others get a break, and you pick up a little extra work. You don't have a problem with that, do you?" The laughter surged again, nearly lifting the roof. From the side of the room, my boyfriend, Seth Hoffman, the company's CEO, watched everything unfold. As usual, he said nothing in my defense. They all thought I would fall apart, cry, or make a scene. Instead, I simply gave a calm nod. The very next day, the company was hit with over three hundred property cancellations. Its cash flow collapsed overnight. That was when Lily and Seth rushed to me, demanding I go plead with the buyers. I smiled and said, "No thanks. I wouldn't want to help the company recover and end up with strong numbers again. That might make everyone even more uncomfortable."

My best friend loved playing 'jokes.' On my birthday, she projected my worst photos in front of everyone, saying she just wanted to 'liven up the mood.' When I was on my period, she deliberately gave me a defective pad. Even when she saw the stain on my clothes, she said nothing–claiming she was helping me 'get more attention.' After I started dating, she edited my photos into suggestive images and spread them across social media groups, pricing them like a product. When I finally snapped and confronted her, she just laughed. "I'm just helping you test your boyfriend," she said. "If he doubts you, then he doesn't really love you. How can you blame me?" Later, a man used the information from those posts to track me down and harm me. I did not survive what followed. However, when I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day she first shared those images.

Set in a dystopian world, former soldier — Karina Agafonov, returns home to her town in Russia after being discharged from military service due to a disability that left her right arm amputated. Returning back to Russia was meant to be a joyful thing for Karina, but getting home she was left distraught to what was left of her town. It was now a ghost city. This would lead Karina to contemplate suicide, but before she could, she would be saved by someone mysterious. A lycan prince — a species that was written off as being extinct. Romance would soon spark between them as they both find themselves in an unfortunate circumstances while they also save humanity.

My SAT scores are out. It turns out that I'm the top scorer of my state. But I insist on applying to an obscure, third-rate private college in front of my friends and family. Everyone thinks that I've gone nuts. Mom even gets down on her knees and begs me not to destroy my future. "You can go to any top college you want! Why must you attend that trashy college instead?" I remain unmoved despite the fact that everyone keeps convincing me to change my mind. What they don't know is that if I don't go there, everyone will die in three days.

Alicia Young, a billionaire businesswoman who controls a big empire was a big fan of Braxton. One unhinged night of pure bliss and Braxton couldn't stay away from her. It became worse when Alicia's ex husband came back to claim her and Alicia constantly receiving death threats from Braxton's past fling. Will this relationship overcome all the problems coming for them? Find put in this age gap love story of Alicia and Braxton.

On the night meant to celebrate her two-years wedding anniversary, Hadley’s world burns—literally and emotionally. After two years of standing loyally beside her husband, Andrew Shaw, even helping him secure a major deal with Sky Group as his company’s director, Hadley receives a terrifying call: his office is on fire. Without hesitation, she rushes into the flames to save him… only to find him entangled with her own sister, Laura. Betrayed, humiliated for being overweight, and trapped in a blazing inferno, Hadley watches in disbelief as the two people she trusted most choose each other—and abandon her to die. But fate isn’t done with her yet. She survives. And this time, she walks away. Divorced and carrying Andrew’s child, Hadley disappears from his life, only for the truth to surface—she was never just the devoted wife he discarded. She is an heiress, powerful and untouchable, with a new life rising from the ashes of her past, and no longer overweight. Now, the woman Andrew once betrayed and mocked for being overweight is no longer someone he can control or insult anymore… yet she becomes the one he can’t forget. As regret consumes him, Andrew begins his relentless pursuit to win her back. But Hadley has already learned her lesson. This time, will she choose love… or revenge?

The news of Jared Foley and me breaking up completely stuns our social groups. After all, we've been together for ten whole years. Even the invitations to our wedding are printed. When faced against our friends' doubts and questions, I merely reply, "We broke up over a joke." At a classmates' reunion on the day before, the drunken Chuck Garner, the class president, suddenly asks Jared a question. "Heather's your fiancee, whereas Paige is your first love. Who would you rescue if both of them fall into the sea at the same time?" Jared doesn't even bother glancing at me as he answers immediately, "Paige, of course!" For a moment, the atmosphere in the private room becomes awkward. Soon, someone quickly eases the tension. "Have you all forgotten that Heather used to be the swimming champion back then? She doesn't need Jared to save her!" Jared shoots it down immediately. "Nah. It's because Heather talks too much." A pause later, Chuck bursts out laughing. "It's been ten years! To think that the top scorer has picked up a sense of humor!" Everyone else joins in on the laughter except for me. After all, I know that Jared is speaking the truth. He's already sick and tired of me rambling on and on when I share every little detail that happens in my life with him every day. That's why he mutes my chatbox on WhatsApp. I've always thought that this is a part of Jared's personality. That is, until I accidentally stumble upon the chat history between Jared and Paige. He even makes sure to take photos of what he has for breakfast and sends them to Paige every morning. Only then do I realize that Jared isn't cold and aloof by nature. He's just cold and aloof toward me. In that case, why should I stubbornly cling to the ray of light that has never illuminated my life?

On April Fool's Day, my husband sent me an intimate photo of himself and his secretary, Claire Bennett. "I've actually been with Claire for three years. Our child is already two years old. "I'm planning to fake my death in a car accident and then move overseas with her and our daughter." The look of shock on my face made him burst out laughing. "Got you. It was April Fool's Day. You didn't actually believe that, did you?" I had just breathed a sigh of relief when he casually added, "But the part about Claire and me having a child is true." I said nothing as I looked at the smug, provocative grin on his face. What he didn't know was that I'd possessed a Lies Come True System since childhood. Whenever someone sincerely told me a lie, that lie would come true. And the death he casually joked about would become reality just three days later.

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my wife but you in this world?" As I look at Bradley's nonchalant expression, I just shoot him a smile. But when I leave the room, I dial a number. "Philip, Bradley has cheated on me with another woman. I want him to be locked behind bars for the rest of his life."

His breath heated her bare skin. "You. . . shouldn’t be. . . here.” She shivered.“But now I am.”He placed his first finger on the knot of the towel, and slightly dragged it out of position, letting it fall to the ground. Now she was standing naked before him, she couldn’t do a thing, not even to hide her pride.His gaze fell on her breast, slowly down to her V spot. A smirk played on his lips, as if staring right at that junction was heaven. The power to resist the urge burning in her was gone, rather her body responded positive to it.“Kiss me, Luci. Please. . .kiss me.”A Bargain Must Be Fulfilled.My rules.A life is needed.That was the deal.The night started as it should. It was supposed to be a meeting. But then something happened.Something I was wholly unprepared for. And what I saw changed everything.Sonia. I wanted her at all cost.I broke my own rules after that. And I didn’t keep my end of the bargain.Because walking away was no longer an option I would grant either of us, no matter the cost.