Smile But Crying Romane & Geschichten

Do I have an incurable disease? What is happening? The curiosity eating at me won't let me stay calm and quiet. Letting my hands off my head, I lay back on the bed and ask. "What happened?" She smiles at me, trail kisses all over my knuckles and forehead without responding. "Did something happen?" I rephrase my question and she shakes her head. "Then why are you crying?" She doesn't reply. Instead, she wipes her tears with the back of her palm, forcing out a smile. If she wasn't crying, I would have thought she looked really proud of me with this smile but I can't comprehend what this really is; crying and smiling at the same time.

But I still try to smile at her. Yes. At least I can still smile even though my heart is crying. Because I don't like to see the pitying glances people

“I’m fine.” I shake my head. I ask again, “Why?” Red sighs, but then he ruffled my hair. “Sometimes people are so happy they just cry.” “People smile when they’re happy,” I tell him. I repeated the exact same words my psychologist told me. One of the exams my psychologist had me coloring faces. One of the faces had a smile. She told me this meant happiness. One of the faces had a frowning face. She told me this was sadness. Then there were other faces with other emotions that I don’t understand. “People cry when they’re sad.”

He tilted my chin up, looking directly into my eyes. “You know,you are kind of ugly when you cry.” I gasp through my tears,my head snapping up. “What?” A grin played on his lips, “ In a cute-ugly way. The kind that makes you look like a sad little meekart.” I didn't know when I burst into a watery soft laugh. He chuckled too brushing hair out of my face. “There she is,”he said. “I was starting to think you have totally lost your smile.”

A smile smeared on my face. Boom!

“Now your smile has grown dimmer.” "You wear your heart on your sleeve and let everyone trample over it." "He made you that way", he exhibited such soulful mourning it made my head spin. “No, Adam, my smile didn’t get dim. It just grew real,” I said, trying to steady the tremor that kept wanting to become sobs. I gathered myself — the way we do in cinemas when the heroine steers the plot from the precipice. “I don’t smile for the sake of smiling now. I smile because I’m happy, not because I’m hiding everything under a mask.”

Not a prisoner in her own skin. Tears ran down my face anyway. They did not match the smile, and that made my stomach twist. The wrongness of it hurt worse than any nightmare. Smiling while crying. Looking calm while screaming inside. I am here, I wanted to yell. Help me. Someone see me. See past this fake face.

I added with a forced smile. I'm pretty good with forced smiles, I've been taught to always smile no matter the situation so it's not a big deal for me to always force a believable smile. No one can ever guess if my smile is forced or real and it took years of training to attain such a beautiful perfection. "Your eyes are reddish and we both know that they only redden like that when you're trying hard not to cry, just fucking tell me what's wrong?" She insisted and I rolled my eyes.

Bianca covered half of her face to hide her blushing cheeks and to mumbled "That's so damn cute." "Let's change the topic. Tell me more about yourself." Chased said feeling embarrassed enough. "I like your face. Did you know that when you smile genuinely, your eyes don't squint equally? Your left eye becomes smaller than your right eye. I find that so adorable. But when you smile nervously, your dimple appears deeper? It makes you look cuter." She decided to tease the man one last time. "I said, let's talk about yourself. Stop teasing me with compliments."

Even though he was happy and smiling, he looked like he was going to cry any second. "You are not going to cry, are you?" I asked and heard him laugh. "I don't know. I'm happy. Even if I cry they will be tears of joy." He stated. "And why would you cry? I won't let you cry. You are only allowed to smile." I replied and this time his eyes were really filled with tears. "Aaryan no," I stated. I don't know but it was so funny. It is an unpopular opinion but boys look much cute when the cry. I should have been consoling Aaryan but I felt like laughing. The man who shows him as a strong person was emotional now!