pondering

Abe's pov

The conference room was empty.

Yet somehow it still felt like she was here.

I loosened my tie and dropped into one of the chairs after Diane left.

The door had barely closed behind her.

I should've gone back to work.

I had meetings.

Deadlines.

Investors waiting for calls.

Instead, I sat there staring at the chair she'd occupied for the past hour.

Pathetic.

Absolutely pathetic.

And yet I couldn't bring myself to move.

Because for sixty minutes, things had almost felt normal.

Not perfect.

Not like before.

But close enough to remind me what I'd lost.

I ran a hand through my hair and leaned back.

The image of her sitting across from me immediately resurfaced.

Focused.

Determined.

Beautiful.

Her brows furrowing whenever she concentrated.

Her lips pursing whenever she disagreed with something.

The tiny crease between her eyes when she was trying to solve a problem.

The same things I'd spent years memorizing.

The same things I somehow never forgot.

A small laugh escaped me.

God.

The nose thing.

I couldn't believe she still did that.

The second she'd started reviewing the presentation, there it was.

That tiny scrunch of her nose.

And for one stupid moment I'd forgotten where we were.

Forgotten that she hated me.

Forgotten that she belonged to someone else now.

Forgotten that I had no right to miss her.

Then I'd opened my mouth.

Like an idiot.

"I used to think it was cute."

I groaned and rubbed my face.

Smooth, Abe.

Real smooth.

The look on her face afterward still haunted me.

Not anger.

Not annoyance.

Something worse.

Pain.

Like I'd accidentally opened a door she wasn't ready to walk through.

The truth was...

I'd felt it too.

The memories.

after going through the work with her i felt like it should never end like I should look at her and soak it all in.

" okay I think that will be all Mr McCarthy she said as she stood hope quickly.

" ohh yes thank you ms diane, if you want we could get coffe or -"

"Im just doing my job mr McCarthy"

" yeah of course just thinking out loud"

"any other information will be communicated through the W******p plaform" she said as she left the office.

a few minutes later...

A knock sounded against the conference room door.

Marcus poked his head inside.

"There you are."

I sighed.

"Go away."

"No."

Unfortunately.

He walked inside and immediately noticed my expression.

"Oh, this should be good."

I pointed toward the door.

"Leave."

"Not happening."

Marcus sat down across from me.

The same spot Diane had occupied.

The sight irritated me.

"How'd the meeting go?"

I stared at him.

He stared back.

Neither of us moved.

Then he smirked.

"Oh no."

"What?"

"You've got the look."

"What look?"

"The Diane look."

I groaned.

"I hate you."

"Tell me what happened."

I debated lying.

Then decided it was pointless.

Marcus always figured things out anyway.

"We worked on the presentation."

"Exciting."

"It was."

His eyebrows shot up.

I ignored him.

Because it was true.

Working with Diane had always been different.

Even now.

We challenged each other.

Pushed each other.

Built off each other's ideas.

It felt effortless.

Natural.

Like breathing.

Like coming home.

And that was the problem.

Marcus watched me carefully.

"You're smiling again."

Damn it.

I hadn't realized.

I quickly looked away.

"She thanked me."

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Marcus blinked.

"Okay?"

"You don't understand."

Apparently I sounded crazier than usual.

Because he looked concerned now.

"Help me out here."

I laughed softly.

"She used to thank me for everything."

A memory surfaced instantly.

College.

Second year.

Three in the morning.

Diane asleep on my couch while I finished a project she'd been stressing over.

When she'd woken up and realized I'd done half the work, she'd hugged me so hard I'd nearly fallen over.

Then she'd thanked me twenty times.

Marcus listened quietly.

"Today felt like that."

The confession sounded ridiculous.

Because it wasn't like she'd hugged me.

Or smiled at me.

Or forgiven me.

She'd simply said thank you.

Yet somehow it mattered.

Because for a second she'd looked at me without anger.

Without resentment.

Without walls.

Just Diane.

The woman I remembered.

The woman I still loved.

The realization settled heavily in my chest.

Marcus sighed.

"Abe."

I already hated that tone.

"What?"

"You're getting your hopes up."

I looked away.

Maybe.

Probably.

Definitely.

But I couldn't help it.

Because there had been moments today.

Tiny moments.

Moments where she forgot to hate me.

Moments where she laughed.

Moments where she looked comfortable around me.

And I'd noticed every single one.

Pathetic.

Marcus stood.

"I gotta go."

I nodded.

But before leaving, he paused.

"You know what worries me?"

I looked up.

"What?"

"You're only remembering the good parts."

The words hit harder than I expected.

Because he was right.

Again.

Lately all I could think about were the good memories.

The laughter.

The dates.

The late-night conversations.

The dreams we shared.

The plans we made.

I remembered loving her.

I remembered being loved by her.

But I hated remembering the other things.

The cruel jokes.

The tears.

The disappointment in her eyes.

The day she finally walked away.

Marcus pointed at me.

"Don't forget why she left."

The room fell silent after he left.

I stared at the table for a long time.

Because that was the problem.

I hadn't forgotten.

Not really.

I remembered every horrible thing.

Every careless comment.

Every time I made her feel small.

Every time I chose my ego over her feelings.

I remembered all of it.

And maybe that was why seeing her now hurt so much.

Because the woman sitting across from me today wasn't the same Diane.

She was stronger.

Confident.

Successful.

The version of herself she was always meant to become.

And I wasn't part of that journey.

Someone else was.

The thought immediately soured my mood.

The boyfriend.

Zephyr.

Just hearing his name annoyed me.

He got to see her smile now.

He got to hear her laugh.

He got the version of Diane I'd been too stupid to appreciate.

My jaw tightened.

For the first time in years, jealousy felt unfamiliar.

Uncomfortable.

Raw.

And beneath it sat something even worse.

Fear.

Because every day she seemed a little further out of reach.

Every day she became more accustomed to keeping me at a distance.

Every day I became more aware of the possibility that I might never get another chance.

"you know what i have just the thing to change that look on your face"

"and what will that be"

"there's a Chinese restaurant not too far away"

" im really not feeling it marcus"

" you really dont have a choice, insist"

" fine but your paying"

" sure"