LOGINArchie shoots one ball through the loop before turning back to me. His team members come to him to congratulate him thereafter they continued playing their ball. He turns to me, pretending like it's the first time he's seeing me.
“I have things to do. Say what you want to say." I say slightly impatient. His next sentence isn't directed to me, but to them. “Okay, I'm leaving. Give me back my ball." They grumble, complaining about how the game isn't over. They can't do anything though because it's his ball. “Archer." I call out to him when he walks away to the bleachers. He doesn't respond initially so I contemplate leaving. "Do you want the entire world to hear our conversation? Come here.“ He doesn't even look at me as he speaks. The prick knows I'm still going to follow. We go to the bleachers and sit under them. Archie offers me one of his protein shakes, and I do not politely decline. I'd rather drink urine. "Where were you taking Vicky to?“ He asks finally. “Oh would you like to know. But I'm sorry brother, not everything concerns you." He scoffs, rests his back on the chairs. There's a distant look in his eyes, and I can tell what he's thinking about. The past. “It does. Anything that concerns Vicky concerns me." I squint. Not because of the sun rays, but because my brain will assimilate that information with my eyes half closed. “Since when did you care about Andrez? I thought you didn't care. You said it yourself. You aren't gay." “You said it too. You probably used that phrase more than I have done my whole life." That statement is true for sure. Even when I first met Jesse, I told him I was as straight as a ruler. Maybe I became a rubber one. “But now I love men. What's your own story?. Living in so much denial you lie to yourself about Madeline." Archie rolls his eyes, then passes his fingers through his hair. “I love Madeline. There's nothing else to say about that." “But," I taunt because I'm annoying. “Something about Vicky draws you to him. You can't let him go. Can't and won't. Dare I say you love him?" Archie reaches to smack my head but I dodge. He stands up and snatches the bag from the chair beside him. “Think whatever you want to. I've said my own. Stay away from Vicky. Focus on your boyfriend." “What if my boyfriend isn't as interesting or as captivating as Vicky? What if I want Vicky? What are you going to do about that? Stop me?" “I'm leaving. Make sure to call dad. He's been asking after you.“ Archie is talking to me but his attention isn't on me. I follow his gaze to see he's staring at Vicky. I scoff so loud. "You're a lost case Archie my man.“ I place my hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off. He shoves me lightly and walks away. When he's out of my sight, I pull my phone out of my pocket ready to call dad, but a call from Ria comes in. “Hey what's popping?" “My pimples. Where are you? I have a lot of ranting to do." I tell her my location and as I wait for her to come, I call my father. He picks up after the ninth ring. “Hey champ." His voice is dry with age. I can almost imagine the crinkles in his eyes as he's smiling. They weren't there before, but that's a story for another chapter. “Hi dad. How are you? I heard you're been missing me so badly you can barely breathe." He guffaws. The hearty throaty laugh I used to love hearing when I was much younger. His laugh made Angie laugh as well. I smile. “You're still crazy I'm guessing. How are you? School? Your mother told me you've decided to take up basketball. How's it going?" I shrug but then realize he can't see me. "I'm playing but not officially. I do it for fun for now.“ "That's a shame. It'd be nice if both my boys were basketball champions.“ That, wouldn't be nice because all I'll do is stay hidden by my brother's shadow. People are always comparing him to me, enough is enough. " Yeah. Such a shame. I hope you're eating healthy. You aren't stressing yourself right Alexander Matheos?“ He sighs. He has been stressing himself. "I'm fine. I've cut down on my soda consumption. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables now.“ I spot Ria and wave her over. “That's so boring. I've gotta go now. Take care of yourself okay?" “You too. Make sure you study hard. And don't bring any reckless boys home." I end the call before he can give me any boy advice. Ria finally walks to where I'm sitting. She collapses on the chair, her books following suit. "Professor Marcus is the reason people know frustration. How can someone that hot be so wicked? “ I let Ria keep her head on my lap as I stroke her hair. It's never been soft since I knew her. "So what happened with him?“ "So, don't tell anyone but he's dating Johnny. Johnny is one of his students. I know relationships with students aren't allowed but they're so cute. You wouldn't get it.“ I ask rolling my eyes,"Did he give Johnny an extra grade? Why are you pissed? “ "Ooh I'm getting there. So Johnny says there's something he doesn't understand. Okay prof, explain it to your boyfriend, why do we all have to write a paper on it? And Johnny isn't getting the assignment. So unfair." I chuckle. "Ria my dear, do you know what you need right now?" "A pizza? Spa date?" She's already sitting up, waiting for her best friend to spoil her. I scoff, shaking my head. "You need to let loose. I have a party this evening, and you're so coming. It's goth themed and I totally think you'd rock it." Her fingers are twirling her hair. "I'm only accepting to follow because hot men take the tension off my shoulders. Nothing else." "Cool. Get your ass back here in 30 minutes. I'll for real leave your ass if you're late." Ria squeals, picking her things. "I'm leaving o wise one. See you in a bit." I go back to my dorms to shower and wear something that actually looks gothic. I settled on black clothes and eyeliner. I look more like a punk rapper than anything. As I open the door of my room, I'm faced with Jesse and Gideon. "Where are you going looking like that?," Gideon asks laughing. Jesse doesn't seemed amused. Pissed is the expression on his face. "Didn't you read my text?" Saying no is obviously the wrong answer but I genuinely didn't read his text. "Could you be kind enough to remind me. I'm getting forgetful." My arms are already reaching out to hold him. "You were supposed to sit with me and watch the series I've been anxiously waiting for. I told you about this weeks ago." I cringe at how Jesse's tone changes. He's pissed and upset. Things I hate seeing my boyfriend be. I hug him. "I'm sorry I forgot. I won't go for any stupid party. I'll get the eyeliner off my face and then we'll watch whatever you want." That cheers him up instantly. I text Ria to go on without me, that I'll be late. I wash my makeup off but don't get out of the clothes. Jesse is seated excitedly on the couch when I go back. He taps the space beside him, and I take it with zero complaints. He cuddles closer to me, deciding to be the little spoon. I don't mind. Anything for my boo. I love Jesse, but his taste in film is just so unbearable to watch. I'd rather watch puppets. Maybe he feels the same because he's snoring gently on my chest. And here was I trying not to sleep for him. I lift him gently, taking him to his bed. Vicky isn't there but I don't care. I leave when I'm sure Jesse is in one of his famous sleep comas. Ria is already sending me pictures about how fire the place is. I drive there as fast as I can without dying. The party is already in a full blast. I take a shot of tequila from the counter, and let my alcohol filled brain think the rest of the night.I lied to Vicky when I said I was visiting my mother today. It's Angie I'm going to see. The drive to the cemetery feels insanely strange, not the usual level of strange. I shake off the feeling weighing my shoulders down, and go faster. Since I've quit drinking, instead of the usual bottle we share, I buy her flowers. Angie wasn't a huge fan of flowers, but she'll have to make do. The grass crunches under my feet as I make my way there, then I halt completely. I finally know what that uncomfortable feeling was. It's Archer staring down at my sister, quiet as a mouse. I'm about to throw a fit when I hear whimpering. I pause and not later, he breaks a sob. Archer stands there, crying his eyeballs out and I watch him like a creep. He deserves it honestly. He deserves to see what he actually did. I don't think he's ever come to visit our sister since she died 4 fucking years ago. "It's real isn't it." I didn't want to say anything, but I guess my mouth wasn't in on that idea. Archer
I wake up not dreading the day because Ander is by my side. I turn, moving closer to him and inhaling more of his scent. It's so intoxicating, it does nothing to help my morning wood. I can't do anything about it though because since I agreed to be his friend, Ander hasn't made a move on me sexually. Yes we cuddle and feed each other and can't get enough of the other's presence, but nothing sexual. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one. Ander shifts in the bed too, turns to face me but isn't awake. I stare at his peaceful face. He never looks like this when he's awake, always has his face scrunched up like an unlubed butt plug was shoved in his ass for too long. I'm tempted to push the curls off his face and I do. Passing my fingers through in a faux attempt to untangle the strands. As much as I hate to admit it, Ander is the reason I'm on this bed right now. If not for him, I probably would be a rotting corpse in the bathtub. Sometimes I consider telling him this truth
If anybody were to call me a crazy person, I wouldn't fight them. Instead, I'd give them a trophy for telling the truth. I am a crazy person, and this realization is driving me even crazier. Why am I crazy? I'm crazy because I'm parked in the driveway of my girlfriend's house. Evana was the 3rd year film student I spilled my drink on when I was drunk off my ass at a party. Unlike the expected reaction, she apologized to me instead and sat with me till I sobered up. She's funny and interesting but I never liked her romantically. I still don't, but somehow it feels like there's this pressure on my shoulders to be perfect. I see Ander with his mood swings and tantrums — things that make him the dysfunctional person he is. But I can't be like that. I'm to be the better son. And the better son likes women. Evana comes out of the house in her usual clothing. A cottage skirt, shirt just a size smaller than hers and loafers. She's modest yet incredibly sexy and I should feel something for
I'm pacing the driveway, my fingernail in my mouth. I don't know, or rather, I know. Heck, what am I even saying?I stare at the keys in my hand. I want to go, but I shouldn't. He hates me, and I don't blame him. But I need to see him. It's an urge so strong my hair is standing like I've been electrocuted. Archer asked me where I was headed this morning and I told him to go fuck himself. His brows creased, not very glad my response was crude. But, it's not my fault. It's one of those days I can't get a single thought in my head. It's hyper fixating on Vicky. My brain that is. And no matter what I do, I can't get it to stop. It's like I'm buzzing so much I'm vibrating. "Are you alright?" My brother yells from the balcony. My balcony. My safe haven. I flip him off and gain enough motivation to get on my bike. I don't drive like a mad man like I normally do. Maybe if I drive slowly, by the time I get there, Vicky would've left for classes and I won't have to face him. Archer's apart
It's yet again the same routine. Wake up, lie in bed till my intestines threaten to rip into pieces then go downstairs. Archer has been feeding me, yes. But sometimes I just can't keep the food in. Last night was one of those times. I puked so much, it took my lungs a whooping 45 minutes to recover. And I tried taking a little whiskey to help with the nausea, but the ass wouldn't let me touch anything. I don't know why he bothers or why it bothers me. I always ask myself questions. Does he care? But I know he doesn't. It's so I'll keep his secret. Today's meal is the leftover pizza from last night. There's 3 slices on a plate, a fruit bowl and yoghurt waiting for my consumption. "There's no need. This isn't a very wise bribe." Archer doesn't answer me, but continues staring at the pizza in the microwave. I shrug and eat. My stomach twists, surprised by the intruders, but I force it down my throat. I felt like I was going to die last night. And honestly, I really don't like that fe
Oh my goodness. I'm awake again. It's not a good thing to dread it, but I do. I wake up starving and run to the kitchen for anything edible or closely related to food. Archer has had groceries sent to me twice so far, so there's a decent amount of ingredients to choose from. I snack on the unopened tube of Pringles before making a cereal then an omelette then some toast. I may be eating a lot, but don't look it. I'm still skinny and maybe even paler than I was before. Checking my class schedule, I have 3 classes today, the first one starting in about an hour. I could skip, like I've been skipping but it's about time I go back to living a normal life. Nothing about the last few months have been normal, and I'm trying to end the trend of crazy. I take a relaxing shower and apply my makeup. It's minimal, just to hide the eye bags and my droopy cheeks. After one last fit check, I leave. My taxi is waiting for me right on time but I get to the class a little late. The professor allows
I'm very okay staying in my room and counting the many things I hate about myself. There's a knock on the door and more than anything, I wish it isn't Ander. It has come to my notice that I can't go anywhere near him without a raging boner. It's embarrassing and inconvenient. "Come in." My voice s
I'm actually surprised there's a lot of work to be done on our news project. It's not a film, but according to Aubrey, it has to be perfect. Not many people are needed on set compared to last time, so we're fewer and I'm idle. Finally, Ander's report is good enough for them. "That should do it. I'
I pretend to be asleep, but I'm wide awake. I can hear Jesse moving his things. He's switching with Magnus . It's not so terrible because Magnus has treated me like a decent person. We don't talk much, that's for sure. But when we do, it's like he's forgiven me.When the room is emptied of Vicky's
My head hurts like a bitch when I open my eyes. I feel nauseous and in pain. There's a woman standing over me. There's something in her hand and I can hear her speaking to me. "Huh?," My speech is slurred. "What's going on?""Oh. He's awake." My vision clears and I realize I'm in a hospital. My fi







