LOGINCHAPTER 5
Noong nag-aaral kami ni Luna sa nursing, matindi ang naging frustration namin. It was worse for me because Kuya Limuel was the one paying for my education. Even though he never asked me to, I pushed myself relentlessly to excel and avoid failing even a single subject. We weren't minors anymore. We used to feel this overwhelming thirst for... needs. Studying to become nurses brought intense frustrations, and sometimes it was impossible not to seek some kind of escape. Luna said that some of my classmates were engaging in their sex lives, lalo na noong fourth year daw kami. She also mentioned that she and her boyfriend were doing it too—said that with all the stress from hospital deployments, exams, and tentative grades that needed fixing because of failures, those kinds of thoughts would just creep into their minds. "Para lang siyang release valve," saad niya nang graveyard kami sa shift. "Alam mo 'yon, kapag sasabog ka na dahil sa program na ito, at least that's something you can control, something that feels good." There's nothing inherently wrong with having a sex life. Some people even suggested it was healthy. Because it's physiologically natural for humans, right? Our professors talked about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and there it was... physiological needs right at the base of the pyramid. Gusto ko rin sanang i-try kaso wala naman akong boyfriend? I am 23 years old, but yet, I only had a boyfriend way back in high school and I regretted it. Kuya Limuel sacrificed having a girlfriend all those years to support me, pouring every cent into my education instead of dating or enjoying his youth. So I broke up with my boyfriend and focused seriously on my studies instead. It felt like the least I could do... the only way to honor his sacrifice. Well, Kuya Limuel has his first girlfriend, si Ate Cherry. Pero attorney na siya nang maglandi. Ang sabi niya rin ay puwede na rin akong mag-boyfriend kapag naka-graduate na ako, pero 'yong handang magpabugbog daw sa kaniya. My lips formed a pout as I thought about all these things. I was becoming ridiculous—sa sobrang dami ba naman ng problema ko, mas iniisip ko pa 'yon kaysa sa magpabigti. Pero bukod sa mga problema ko, nandito na ako, a trained nurse who could insert IVs and handle medical emergencies, yet completely clueless about this particular aspect of adult life. Kaya matapos kong makipagkwentuhan sa mga kasambahay kanina, nagtungo na ako sa kuwarto ko para mapag-isip-isip nang maayos. Hindi naman ako pinalayas ni Chief Treve. Even when the night came. I got out of the room, feeling fresh after wasting a bath bomb and soaking myself in the bathtub for a longer time. I wore the spaghetti strap dress that I wore last night. Nalabhan ko na rin naman ito at na-dryer kanina, tinulungan ako ni Kyla dahil hindi ako marunong gumamit ng washing machine. Mula roon sa kwartong nilabasan niya kaninang umaga ay doon ako nag-abang. And I was right as I heard heavy steps. It's freaking 11 in the evening! Tulog na raw ang mga kasambahay, doon daw sila natutulog sa may likod ng mansion dahil may storey building o quarters pa raw doon. Chief Treve's eyes bore into me. Tanging ang lampshade na nasa mini table ang nagsilbing ilaw sa amin. He still wore his uniform, and the way his top was tucked in made him look even more devastatingly sexy. Agad na nanuyo ang aking lalamunan at inilahad sa kaniya ang sobre. "Bayad ko kagabi tapos mamaya 'yong bayad para ngayong araw," sambit ko. "You're really going to stay here? Hindi ka pa talaga umalis?" Well, hindi niya naman daw inutusan ang mga kasambahay kanina na palayasin ako. Kaya, ano'ng magagawa ko? "T-Tumulong ako sa mga kasambahay sa paglinis. Sinabi ko lang na magkaibigan tayo." I forced myself. He scoffed, a sharp and dismissive sound. I thought maybe he found what I said amusing, but apparently not. His jaw tightened. "When did we become friends?" "Gusto kong pumasok bilang kasambahay!" I suddenly said. I played my fingertips with each other. Hindi siya sumagot at nakapaywang na ang isang kamay niya sa belt nito. "Mag-a-advance sana ako ngayon. Kailangan ko kasi bukas ng malaking halaga ng pera," I said frankly, meeting his gaze even though everything in me wanted to look away. "You're already hired? And now you want advanced labor payment? I haven't even seen you demonstrate competent work. You're making decisions on your own because you feel like... we're friends? Modus ka ba?" Umiling agad ako. "Hindi! Alam kong chief ka! Bakit sa 'yo ako lalapit kung ganoon?" "No. You're rejected," he immediately said. Okay. Plan A failed. Plan B na tayo. I sighed, then I made my knees kiss the floor. Kita ang gulat sa kaniyang mukha dahil sa biglaan kong pagluhod. Nanginginig ang kamay kong hinawakan ang kaniyang belt. The leather felt cool and smooth under my fingertips. He immediately swatted my hand away and stepped backward! "What the heck?!" he shouted. Dumagundong ang boses niya sa pasilyo. Agad kong napagtanto na mas nakakahiya pala kapag nasa akto ka na! Shit, kasalanan mo 'to, Lyla! Binigyan mo pa ako ng idea! "Open your zipper," I commanded, trying to sound confident. Wala siyang magagalawan dahil nakasandal na siya sa pader. He looked at me darkly. Kaya ang ginawa ko, itinuko ko ang dalawang kamay ko sa pader para hindi siya makawala! Though we both knew he could easily break free if he wanted to. "Damn it, move out of my way, Michelle!" I just stared at the bulge in his pants like an idiot. Parang tanga lang, 'di ba? Putcha naman, Xianny! Ayusin mo! I studied about it. They get easily aroused, yes, yes. Wala namang kaso sa akin ito. May mga nakita na rin naman akong mga maseselang parte ng katawan pero madalas ay mannequin lang. Pero wala naman yatang pinagkaiba ito roon? And he thinks that I'm a prostitute right? Aalis din naman ako katulad ni Lyla kaya sulitin ko na! And he knows that Michelle will do it. He'll never know that Xianny doesn't want it! "I really need money! I know you're doing this kind of thing!" singhal ko habang nakapikit na. "What?!" His confusion was palpable. I gulped really hard. Iminulat ko ang aking mata. Tiningala ko siya. "I am a virgin. You're lucky that I am clean and you're my first! Kung hindi madadaan sa awa, baka puwedeng sa dahas!" "Are you serious?" He looked down at me like I'd lost my mind. "O-Oo, kailangan ko ng pera, Chief. Bukas na bukas din, aalis ako, kagaya ni Lyla," nanginginig kong sinabi. "Who the hell is Lyla—" "First time ko 'to. But you'll never regret it," I assured him. I was trying to sound seductive but probably just sounding pathetic. "Do you think it would fit?" He laughed as he said those words. "It will fit," I said immediately. "Suck it and prove to me that you're good at it." Akala ko aabutan pa kami ng alas singko kakapilit sa kaniya. Pero, nagkamali ako. His voice dropped lower, huskier, and suddenly this felt very, very real. Ay. Seryoso nga siya. Tama nga si Kyla, madali siyang maakit! Naglayas ka, Xianny. Kailangan mo ng pera. Ito lang ang pinakamadaling paraan. Bahala na. Iisipin naman nila na ginawa ito ni Michelle, hindi ni Xianny. With my palm kissing the cold wall, I reached for his belt. The metal buckle clinked softly as I unfastened it, my muscles already trembling as I felt it loosen around his waist. My fingers felt clumsy, uncoordinated, as if they belonged to someone else. His pants had a button, so I unbuttoned it. I was sure he was getting impatient with how slow I was, but too bad... this was my first time and he should consider himself incredibly lucky! It had a zipper. Mas lalong nagsitayuan ang balahibo ko sa katawan habang hinawakan ang malamig na metal ng kaniyang zipper. With shaky hands, I pulled it down slowly, hearing each tiny tooth separate with a quiet buzz. Matapos kong gawin iyon ay iniangat ko ang kaniyang uniporme para tumambad sa akin ang kaniyang boxer. But then, before I touched the silk of his boxer, he held both of my hands. Naluluha kong tiningnan si Chief Treve. "Damn it!" he cursed as he looked at me darkly. "You just lied that you're not a prosti, Michelle." "I wasn't!" The words burst out of me. Wow, hindi nanginig boses ko, ah? "Then what are you doing right now?" He gestured vaguely at our position... me on my knees, his pants undone. "I told you I need money!" I repeated my reason. "And this is the only way you know how?" There was something in his voice... disappointment? Disgust? I couldn't tell. "Ayaw mo naman akong papasukin bilang kasambahay. Wala na akong choice!" "Then you are a prostitute. The option you chose was to arouse men and make them pay you," he stated coldly. "Then I'm going to prove it! That I'm not a prostitute or some playgirl who goes around arousing men!" I shot back. "You can fuck me tonight and you'll see that I'm a virgin!" I bit my lip. He released his grip on my hands and allowed me to continue with what I was doing. Natigil din ako ng ilang segundo dahil naramdaman ko ang panunubig ng aking mata. But I was desperate to make money, to pay my creditor. I need to make this night over and everything will be fine. I pulled down his boxer while his hand was holding his uniform to avoid disturbances. My gaze went to his stomach—it had a fitted shirt covering it but I must say it was bulky and hard. Then, my eyes went to his manhood. Agad na nanlaki ang aking mata sa kalakihan noon. I swallowed hard as my hands, still holding his boxers, slid them down to his knees. I raised my hand tentatively and grasped his dick, my fingers barely meeting around the circumference. He has a huge manhood! Nakakakita naman ako ng mga ganito pero noong nag-assist lang ako sa batang na-circumcision sa hospital kung saan na-deploy ako. Tapos... Maliit pa iyon. Pero ito. Ano 'to! My hand went to it and squeezed it. My jaw dropped. Malambot pero malaki, meaning hindi pa 'yon 'yong hard version niya?! I kissed the tip of his dick and licked it cautiously, tasting salt and skin and something uniquely him. Slowly then gradually I put it inside my mouth. I heard him growl as I looked up at him. His perfectly pointed nose was the first thing I saw before his eyes bore into mine. I took his manhood into my mouth bit by bit until I felt it filling my mouth completely. Pressing against my inner cheeks, the tip nudging the back of my throat even though I wasn't even halfway down yet. The reality made my eyes water. Kaya mo 'to, Xianny. Hindi. Kaya mo 'to, Michelle! I thrust my face in and out until I felt that his already large manhood became so bulky and hard. Until I felt his hand go to my hair and guide me. Until I started to gag from his massiveness. Until I got used to feeling it inside my mouth. Until I heard his little moan, while here I am trying to catch my breath just to pleasure him for money.CHAPTER 84XIA ALANNY BUENAVENTURA GARCIA's POV"P-Pinatay mo si Solene..." My voice cracked open. "P-Pinatay mo ang Daddy ni Treve!"Wala. Wala ni anino ng pagbabago sa mukha niya. Tiningnan niya ako tulad ng isang basura na walang puwang sa kaniya.Not a single thing changed in her face. There was not even a flicker of guilt."Solene is my friend! She has the influence! The power! And I am just her shadow!" sigaw niya, at para sa unang pagkakataon ay nakita ko ang tunay niyang mukha. "A-Ang sabi ko sa kaniya ay sapat na ang mayroon siya! Na pagod na ako maging asong buntot-buntot sa kaniya! Na kahit si Treve lang ang ibigay niya sa akin ay ayos na!"She laughed. A high, broken sound. It scraped against my ears like glass, and I felt my skin crawl at how unhinged it sounded. Kung hindi ko siya kilala ngayon, baka iisipin ko na kawawa siya. Baka maawa ako. Pero hindi. Hindi siya karapat-dapat sa awa ng isang taong katulad ni Treve. Hindi siya karapat-dapat sa awa ng kahit na sino."Bu
CHAPTER 83"Mayroon kaming speedboat, sir," sambit ng isang receptionist sa resort."Hindi ka ba makapaghintay, Chief Treve? Paparating na rin ang chopper nina Ayannah," sabi ni Cherry, bahagya siyang nakakunot ng noo habang sinusubukan akong pigilan."Hayaan mo na siya, Cherry. Baka ihulog ko pa 'yan sa chopper kung nagkataon.”Tiningnan ko si Limuel at hindi ko kayang labanan ang talim ng titig niya. At wala rin akong balak na subukan."I'll use the speedboat. Don't worry about me," I said, cutting the argument short.Alalang-alala na rin sina Immanuel at ang asawa niyang buntis habang tahimik nilang hinihintay ang chopper. Nakikita ko sa mukha nila ang takot kahit na hindi nila ako kinakausap.The speedboat arrived within minutes. I rode it alone. No one came with me, and I didn't wait for anyone. The moment I was on it, I pushed the engine to its limit and let the water swallow me into the open sea.Wala nang lingon-lingon nang nasa dagat na ako. The wind hit my face like a slap,
CHAPTER 82TREVE RONALD NIEVRES' POVI admit that I get really attached to that girl. To Xianny. Hindi ko aasahan na dahil nabulag ako sa katotohanan ay hindi ko na rin nagampanan ang tungkulin ko na siyang inatas sa akin ni Limuel. Yung isang bagay na dapat sana ay simple lang gawin, naging kumplikado dahil sa akin."I know, Treve, that you're the one who shot my dad back then," ani Limuel nang tumawag siya sa akin. "I don't know how to be grateful about it... But I think, you did the right thing."Tumawag sa akin si Limuel habang nasa duty ako sa probinsya nina Cherry, kung saan ako na-assigned bilang chief officer dahil nag-resign na ang dating chief matapos ma-charge ng kaso sa pagtulong niya sa dating Mayor Mariano Garcia sa pagtakas sa prisinto.I clenched my jaw as I rummaged through my memory of that selfish mayor who wanted nothing in this world except his own convenience. Gago siya. Nararapat lamang siyang mamatay."He killed your mother-in-law, Limuel," I said, "Sinaktan ni
CHAPTER 81I dropped my phone.The sound of waves crashing against the hull of the yacht felt different now. Too loud. Too sharp. Dalawang armadong lalaki ang nakahawak kay Daniah. She was wailing, her voice was desperate, and when I finally found Lance outside through the glass, he was on the floor trying to drag himself up by sheer will alone.Sumigaw ulit si Daniah at nang tingnan ko siya ay tinatalian siya sa kamay ng isa sa mga lalaki."Daniah," I breathed out. My voice cracked. "Bitiwan n'yo siya!"Then I heard it. A groan so low and broken it barely sounded human.Lance.Isang armadong lalaki na naman ang sumulpot. He grabbed Lance by the collar and forced him to his knees, pressing a gun hard against the back of his skull."L-Lance!" si Ate Daniah."Lance!"I moved. I tried to move.Hinarangan ni Leyla ang pintuan. She stepped in front of me like a wall, and the smirk on her face was wide and slow and utterly cold."Oh, wala ka nang pupuntahan pang iba, Xianny."She took a st
CHAPTER 80Lumabas si Leyla at pare-pareho kaming parang nawala sa sarili.Lance seems to be exasperated... While Ate Daniah doesn't know how to act in this situation. Napahilot na lang din ako ng aking sintindo.I guess... we're not having a good vacation right now. It's because Leyla is here. Or the idea that they both have their pride that cannot be climbed by anybody.Halata namang mahal talaga ni Leyla si Treve. Na siya agad ang bukambibig niya rito. Na kahit ano yatang gawin ng kahit sino, o kahit anuman ang sabihin sa kaniya, ay hindi siya aalis sa panig ni Treve. She'd risk her life if ever, that's what I saw in her.Wala rin naman akong ideya kung ano talaga ang nangyari sa nagdaang taon kung saan ay ikakasal na dapat si Treve. I sense the pressure in Leyla, since people were relying on her as the only eye and testimony. Hindi ko rin naman masisisi si Lance kung nakapanig din siya sa kaniyang parents. Masakit din naman talaga sa parte niya na ang buong akala niyang masaya n
CHAPTER 79I sighed heavily. Hindi magadang ganoon agad ang topic namin. And my eardrums got nearly exploded hearing how good Treve is for Leyla. Wala naman siya rito kaya bakit siya ang pinag-uusapan nilang dalawa?!Tiningnan nila akong dalawa dahil sa sinabi ko. Tinaasan ko si Ate Daniah ng kilay. And she seems to get it and look at the lady in front of me."Leyla, pasensya na kung nasama kita rito... Hindi ko alam ang nangyari. If I knew, even I, would disagree with coming here," sambit niya.She began putting food in her plates when she giggled."Ayos lang sa akin, Doctor Buenaventura. It's just that, he's not the face of people that I am afraid of... That's why, I am not panicking," aniya.Everyone here has their own potency... Ibang-iba ako sa kanila, masyado akong na-iinsecure sa tuwing iniisip ko iyon. Lance and Ate Daniah, even in a tangled form, still like each other. Leyla, years gone by was still wanting Treve, and still risking everything about it.Mapait akong napangisi
CHAPTER 6I used to see naked bodies when I studied human anatomy. I'm not afraid of blood because I was a nurse. Volunteer din ako sa Red Cross kapag may mga blood donation programs. Tapos volunteer din ako kapag may taunang pagtuli sa iba't-ibang bayan.Marami na akong nakita, marami na akong nah
CHAPTER 4That Treve really seems like a good guy. I mean, siguro kung makakakita rin ako ng tomboy na naka-dress sa daan, syempre maaawa rin ako at patutulugin ko sa bahay ko.I woke up when the sunlight hit my face, warm against my cheeks. Sa isang kuwarto niya ako pinatuloy—his house, well his m
CHAPTER 3FLASHBACKUmalis na kami ni Dad nang gano'n gano'n lang. Hindi ko man lang nalaman ang buong pangalan ng lalaking pakakasalan ko. Just "Lance Vetara" and "Kingsland"—a first name and a company. That was all I knew about my future husband.Ngunit may mga pangyayari nga talaga na hindi mo i
CHAPTER 2Iniwan na ako ng driver ni Luna. Nasa bus station na ako ngayon at pumipili ng bus na sasakyan.Bitbit ang dalawang maleta, pumasok ako sa bus na papuntang Bicol. Doon ako na-deploy noong nag-aaral pa ako—iyon ang pinakamalayo at iyon lang din ang alam kong wala akong kamag-anak.May mga







