MasukNikolaiI saw the hurt on his face.I felt it too.And somehow, I know how it feels. For starters, I have a shitty, selfish bastard as a father.“Baby…” I called softly, careful to keep my tone gentle.He sniffed, and I noticed how he was fighting back his tears.“You can cry it all out—”He pulled me closer, burying his face into my lower abdomen.My chest tightened once again.He sobbed loudly, and I fucking hated this.I hated seeing him cry. I hated seeing him so fucked up and hurt.Weaving my fingers through his hair, I tried my best to stay calm for him.He needs me.“It’s going to be okay, baby.”He shook his head, pulling away slightly. “It’s not going to be okay. Nothing is going to be okay…”Tears streamed down his pretty face. Those damn eyes were glassy and wet. And as fucked up as it sounds, I should be the only one who brings him to tears.“Shhh…” I cradled his face in my hands, gently wiping away his tears.“She hates me, Nikolai… she fucking hates me now.”“She doesn’t
Nathaniel“No…” I barely whispered.Tears were already blurring my vision as the mother I had called my mother kept yelling.“This is the life you so righteously abandoned your brother and me for, huh?”I shook my head. “Please stop.” I gripped Nikolai’s arm tightly, wanting to bury the pain.“You’re a disgrace to me, Nathaniel! A huge disgrace! I regret the day I gave birth to you.” She held her stomach, causing my heart to squeeze even tighter.I felt Nikolai glance at me as my lips trembled, unable to even face him.“And you…” She eyed Nikolai coldly, like he was some worthless piece of trash, unworthy of her presence, when it should have been the other way around.“I should have known better. I should have known that the reason you gave me money was because my son was cheaply whoring himself out for you—”“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Nikolai yelled.His voice was so loud that my breath halted for a second, leaving me stunned to my core.He was losing it.My mother’s eyes widened, seemingly
NathanielMy head hurts.And my eyes feel oddly heavy.Like I had been sleeping—Whatever fuzzy thoughts lingered in my head died down immediately when my gaze landed on him.Nikolai.His head rested against the bed, our hands visibly woven together.My throat tightened, as though my breathing was being restricted.The sight of him…His messy hair partially covered his face as I felt his soft breaths brush against our intertwined hands.And though I stared at him…It brought back a rush of unpleasant memories.Him choking me.My pleading for him to stop.Tears blurred my vision.He didn’t stop.Neither did he care about my feelings.I just can’t…I carefully tried pulling my hand away from his, not wanting any physical contact. It only filled my mind with those… unpleasant memories.He slowly stirred awake before I could successfully pull away completely.“Baby…” His voice came out rough.I blinked, frozen and genuinely confused about how to react.Should I yell at him?Blame him or s
NikolaiI swallowed hard.Finding two cops outside, along with a doctor.The cops’ gazes immediately angled to me.My jaw tightened as they leaned off the wall, approaching me.“Mr. Carrington?” the blond officer asked.I nodded.“I’m Officer Karl, and this is my colleague, Officer Griffin.” Saying this, Karl brought out a notebook and pen.I felt the other officer, Griffin, giving me a stern, hardened look.“We have some questions for you concerning Mr. Lockwood. Firstly, what’s your relationship with him?”I felt the lump in my throat growing along with the voices in my head, which got louder.“Boyfriend…. He’s my boyfriend.”And then I saw Griffin giving me a dirty, cringe-worthy look of disgust.“Boyfriend? Like, you both are in a romantic relationship?” Karl asked further, seemingly wanting to get a clearer picture.“That’s what he said, Karl. It’s obviously a romantic relationship, right? Unless it’s something even more sick,” Griffin stated.Okay, it was obvious he had a proble
NikolaiNo…No…My breath caught in my throat as I desperately tapped his cheeks.“Baby…”“Baby… open your eyes… Open your damn eyes…”He wasn’t responding.Nathaniel fucking Lockwood wasn’t responding.My breathing came out in harsh gasps as I slowly backed away, visibly shaking.Why isn’t he opening his eyes?Why…What the fuck have I done?Grabbing my hair, tears blurred my vision as the reality of what was happening finally sank in.I did this to him…I…Immediately, I scrambled back onto the bed, my knees tangling in the messy sheets. The room felt like it was spinning. I stared at him—at his flushed, silent face, at the raw red finger marks still burned into his neck from where I had gripped him.“You don’t fucking get to dismiss me.”“I’m going to fuck you hard… there’s no bloody feeling attached.”My own cruel words echoed in my ears, deafening, mocking me.How the fuck did I say such cruel things to him?“Nath!” I lunged forward again, my hands shaking violently as I grabbed
NikolaiBreathing hard, with my whole body still wrapped in pleasure, I pulled out of him.Watching him collapse weakly onto the bed, sobbing quietly.Did I feel anything?Yes.Pleasure.Did I care about him?No.Grabbing the towel from the nightstand, I wiped myself clean. The sheets were a complete mess, a mixture of our release and evidence of how brutally I’d fucked him.Probably too rough, judging by the way he was still quivering.My breathing slowly steadied.The deafening silence that settled over the room was somehow louder than anything we’d said to each other.Nathaniel lay curled on the far side of the bed, his knees pulled tightly against his chest. His shoulders trembled with quiet, uneven sobs that he was desperately trying to smother into the pillow.I looked at him.Only for a second.His hair was a mess, his face hidden, his entire body folded into itself like he was trying to disappear.My jaw tightened.I looked away.I didn’t have the energy to care.Or maybe…I r
NathanielPlating the creamy pasta and salad, I sighed, shaking my head.“Can you quit the staring? You’re creeping me out.”When I turned slightly, I found Nikolai seated there, his gaze completely fixed on me. Unmoving. Intense. Like I was the only thing in the room worth looking at.I had to bre
NathanielWeird.What’s he doing in an ice cream shop?He doesn’t actually seem like someone who’s up for these kinds of things.I stood, frowning hard as I watched Professor Leo hurriedly walk out.My phone vibrated in my hand again.I answered the call, sighing heavily.“Hi……” I said, clutching h
NathanielI was completely flushed with embarrassment, especially with Nikolai who had his fuck me eyes downright staring at me.He urged again, pushing the fork towards my lips, “Eat up baby.” And then he leaned to my ear, “I need you all strong and healthy if you’re going to take up my dick and t
NikolaiHe swatted my hands away.Hurt rippled through my features.Fuck! I didn’t know my actions would cause such a reaction from him.Nathaniel roughly stood up, glaring harshly at me as he repeated again, “I want to go home, Nikolai.”Dragging myself off the sand, standing, I shook my head. “Ca







