Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Minerva

I sat there on the bed with the sheet pulled up to my chest and watched him move around the room like the floor might open up and swallow him if he stayed still too long. He picked up his shirt from the floor, shook it out, and started putting it on. The buttons took him longer than they should have because his hands were not steady. He did not look at me once.

“Kendrick.”

He kept buttoning.

“It was just about how it felt,” I said. “The way you moved. That was all. I was not thinking about Liam like that. It came out wrong.”

He laughed once, short and ugly, and shoved his arms into the sleeves harder than he needed to.

“You said it while I was still inside you.”

“I know. I know how it sounded. I was trying to say you were better. It was a compliment that came out like shit.”

He grabbed his pants next and stepped into them. The belt buckle clinked when he yanked it closed.

“You think that helps?”

“I am trying to explain.”

“You do not need to explain. I heard you clear enough.”

He walked over to the chair where his jacket was and picked it up. Then he put it down again. He walked to the window, stopped, turned, and walked back toward the door. His hand landed on the handle. He stood there with his back to me for a few seconds like he was deciding whether to open it or not. Then he let go and turned around, but he still would not look at my face.

“You saw him touch me earlier,” I said. “That is what this is really about.”

His jaw tightened.

“Liam put his hands on your face in front of everyone and you let him. Then I kissed you. Then I brought you up here. Then I was inside you. And the first thing that came out of your mouth was his name.”

“I did not say his name because I was thinking about him while we were doing it.”

“You said I was better than him. That means you were comparing. That means he was in your head.”

I pushed the sheet down a little and sat up straighter.

“Look at me.”

He did not.

“Look at me, Kendrick.”

He turned his head slowly. His eyes were dark and hard and there was nothing soft left in them.

“You already lost it once tonight because of him,” I said. “You pulled me away from the whole room because his hands were on me. You kissed me like you were trying to erase it. And now you are acting like I cheated on you with a sentence.”

“I am not acting like anything.”

“You are packing. You are standing by the door. You are not coming back to the bed. That is acting.”

He ran both hands through his hair and left it standing up in every direction.

“I do not like feeling like I am still competing for you when I am the one who just had you.”

The words came out flat and honest and a little too loud. He looked surprised that he had said them out loud. I felt the air in the room change.

“You are not competing,” I said.

“Then why does it feel like I am?”

“Because you are engaged to someone else and you are still touching me. Because the whole world thinks you belong to Elena and I just let you take my clothes off anyway. Because I said something stupid in the middle of it and you decided it meant I still want him.”

He stayed by the door but he did not open it.

“What are we even doing?” I asked. “Under all the fake engagement and the debt and the cameras, what is this?”

He let out a long breath and leaned his shoulder against the wall.

“I do not know.”

“That is not good enough.”

“It is the only answer I have right now. I am engaged on paper so my sister stays safe. I cannot walk away from that. But I also cannot stop wanting you. And I cannot stand the idea that when I am with you, you are still measuring me against him.”

“I was not measuring.”

“You said the words, Minerva.”

“And I am telling you they came out wrong. I have never wanted anyone the way I wanted you five minutes ago. That is the truth. The rest was noise.”

He pushed off the wall and took two steps closer to the bed. Then he stopped again.

“You let him touch your face.”

“I did not ask him to.”

“You did not push him away either.”

“Because we were in public and I was trying not to make a scene. You dragged me out of there and kissed me like you owned me. So which one of us is the problem right now?”

He stared at me. The jealousy was right there in his eyes, ugly and open, no polish left on it.

“I hated seeing his hands on you,” he said. “I hated it enough that I stopped thinking. And then you brought him back into the room while I was still feeling you.”

“I am sorry.”

“Do not say sorry if you do not mean it.”

“I mean it. I would take the words back if I could. They were not about missing him. They were about how good you felt. That is all.”

He looked at me for a long time. Then he walked over to the chair again, sat down hard, and put his elbows on his knees. He stared at the floor.

“I do not know how to do this,” he said. “I do not know how to want you this much and still keep the engagement going. I do not know how to hear his name come out of your mouth and not want to put my fist through a wall.”

“Then do not keep the engagement going longer than you have to.”

“It is not that simple.”

“I know it is not. Your sister is seventeen. Your father owes money to people who hurt things. Elena’s family is the shield. I heard you the first time. I am not asking you to throw that away. I am asking you to stop treating me like I am the one who made this messy.”

He lifted his head.

“You did not make it messy. I did that when I kissed you on the balcony.”

“And I made it messier when I pulled you down on this bed.”

A small, tired smile pulled at the corner of his mouth for half a second and then disappeared.

“Yeah. You did.”

We sat in the quiet for a while. The only sound was the air conditioner and the distant traffic outside the window. I kept the sheet around me and watched him. He kept his eyes on the floor.

“I meant what I said earlier,” I told him. “You are not in love with her. You can barely stand being in the same room as her. The photos are for the league and the sponsors and your father. I get that. But I need to know what I am to you while all of that is still happening.”

He rubbed the back of his neck.

“You are the only thing that feels real right now. That is the problem.”

“That does not answer the question.”

“It is the only answer I have.”

I shifted on the bed. The sheet slipped a little and I let it. His eyes dropped for a second and then came back up to my face.

“I am not going to be the secret you keep until the contracts are signed,” I said. “I will not do that. If we are doing this, then we are doing it with our eyes open. No more surprises. No more me finding out about your fiancée from a red dress and a camera flash.”

“I already told you everything.”