Chapter 10.2

December 9, 1879

Fourth entry. That thing is here again. I can hear it walking on the roof. I refuse to believe it is one of those things that Jim believes it is. It has to be something else. Perhaps a bear or even a moose. I don’t know. Whatever it is, I refuse to think it is some mythical monster.

I have stoked the fire as hot as I can get it. I hope that will keep whatever it is from bothering the stovepipe. With luck, it will help melt some of the snow on the roof and make it easier for us to clear out in front of the door.

Jim is still asleep, and I hope he stays that way. I have no doubt he believes that thing is a wendigo. I can see the fear in his eyes every time he hears it. He has not told me much about what happened that winter when he was a boy. Part of me wishes he would so I could understand, and part of me is glad he has not. 

December 9, 1879

Fifth entry. I think that thing is gone. I have not heard anything from it for a while now. I have filled the stove as full as I can get it for the night. I am going to finish my willow bark tea and then try to get some sleep. 

In the morning, I need to again thank Jim for what he did to my shoulder today. It has progressively been getting better all day, and I don’t think I will ever have the words to fully thank him.

December 10, 1879

It snowed more last night. The blasted snow has almost filled the entire space we cleared yesterday. It is still falling, and the wind is absolutely howling outside. There is no point in us trying to do anything about that as long as it keeps coming down the way it is and the wind keeps piling it up faster than we can move it.

We ate breakfast, and Jim lay back down as soon as he had finished. He said he is sore from yesterday. I knew he would be. That is why I kept trying to get him to take it easy yesterday. He can be so stubborn at times. I can’t be mad at him for that. I can be the same way. That is probably why I like him so much. 

Since the snow is not going to let us do anything to get out of here, I think I am going to drink my willow tea and then lie down for a while myself. Lord knows I have not slept nearly enough since we got hurt. Now that Jim is doing better, I feel better about sleeping.

December 10, 1879

Second entry. We both woke up and ate lunch. We followed that with us each having cups of willow bark tea. Lazy is something that neither of us has ever been, until today. Today we are both doing our best to rest and recover from what we did yesterday. I have been able to sleep well for the first time since getting hurt. 

Jim was kind enough to regale me with more stories of being a boy and surviving a storm like this. I am not sure he made me feel any better. Jim told me that we would make it through this. He said it might not be fun, and we might both be a little hungry as we do it, but we will make it. I needed to hear him say that. 

Sarah, my love, to be honest, I was beginning to lose hope and to give up. I love the life I have forged here. I have never doubted making that choice after losing you. However, this year made me question it for the first time. Taking Jim on as a partner is what kept me going this year. I did not want to let him down after promising to split everything with him.

I have missed you more this year than I have since losing you, my dear Sarah. How I wish things would have been different for us. If they had, we would be in Missouri growing old together, watching our children grow up, marry, and give us grandchildren to spoil. Our biggest concern would be making sure our store was stocked with everything the townsfolk needed. Those thoughts make me miss the days that never happened for us.

I think I am going to have another cup of that vile tea, stoke the fire again, and then lay down to take a nap if I can. I need to catch up on my rest. 

A gust of wind came through the open door, hitting Sara like a bucket of cold water. She shivered as she stepped over to shut the door and tie it closed. She shivered again as rain blew in, splattering against her. When the door was closed, she looked down at her now wet t-shirt and shorts. She could feel water running down her legs.

“It figures,” she grumbled to herself. “I put on clean clothes, and I immediately get soaked and have to change again.”

Sara changed out of her wet clothes into dry ones. She took the required pause in her reading to make herself another cup of coffee and look for more chocolate in her pack. When she was warm, dry, and had the snacks she was craving, Sara went back to reading.

December 10, 1879

Third entry. We did not eat much for supper tonight. I guess sleeping all day does not build the appetite. Jim and I are both restless this evening. We are both tired yet unable to sleep. Some of the things Jim told me after we ate have me a bit worried. He says we will be fine, yet he made me feel like he does not believe that himself.

Jim told me about the burial practices of his tribe. He said they must be buried as soon as they die. He made me promise to do that for him if anything happens to him. I don’t know. Maybe it has just been on his mind since he got hurt, and he does truly believe that we will make it out of this blizzard and winter just fine.

I hope that thing does not come back tonight. I want to have a night without worry about some gargantuan ripping the stovepipe out of the roof so that we freeze to death. We would both sleep better if it left us alone.

December 11, 1879

I woke up and could not go back to sleep. I am not sure what time it is. It is sometime in the early morning hours before dawn, I think. That monster did not bother us last night. I call it a monster because of its size and how much it seems to enjoy tormenting us. The only thing that is outside is the brutal wind whistling. 

The wind is shaking the cabin, even with it being buried under many feet of snow. It has also come down the chimney a few times. I can hear it fanning the flames from time to time. Maybe we will have some luck, and the wind will help to uncover this cabin instead of burying it deeper. 

I think I will get breakfast started if I can be quiet about it. We will need a good meal to start off with if we are going to get back to making a way out of this building. I built it to be small and cozy, which it is. It is a lovely little place to come back to after a long, hard day. Right now, there are moments when it feels more like a crypt than a home. I want it to feel like a home again.

Sara paused and drank from her coffee cup. She understood what Herschel meant when he said the tiny cabin felt like both a cozy home and a crypt. She felt the word "crypt" was far more accurate for her situation.  Under other circumstances, the cabin would be comfortable. To Sara, it was becoming claustrophobic.  

When she was hiking and camping, she wanted to be out in the open. Even when she slept in her tent, she wanted the roof open so she could see the stars. At home, the curtains were open during the day to let light and as much nature in as possible. If the storms did not break soon, she would hike out to preserve her sanity. In the meantime, she would keep reading to distract herself.

December 11, 1879

Second entry. We had our breakfast, and Jim wants to let his settle a bit before we get to work on the snow blocking the door. We are both feeling better than we were yesterday. That should make things go better today. As long as the snow stops falling, we should be able to make good time on it.

Jim is sitting and getting the snares ready to set, along with checking some of our smaller traps. He plans on setting everything he can tomorrow. Jim told me that since I have done my best to take care of him, he will take care of me. It doesn’t matter what he has to do. He will make sure that he can get out of this cabin and get us more food.

Jim is trying to keep me from thinking about my shoulder. While the pain is better, I still can’t use my arm. I have some grip and use in my hand, the same as before, but the rest of my arm is useless. I am keeping it in a sling, resting it, and hopefully letting it heal.

Jim is saying he is ready to start work digging ourselves out of here whenever I am. I guess we will get to it. Maybe we will make enough progress that Jim can get out tonight if he feels up to it.

December 11, 1879

Third entry. We made good progress today. Between decent weather with no snow, the digging, and the packing, it looks like Jim will be able to get out of here after just a little bit more work in the morning. That has put both of us in better spirits than we have been for a while. 

We are both exhausted after all that work and enjoyed our venison and soup for supper. We were too tired to make bread to go with it. Both of us had cups of willow bark tea to go with the meal. 

I am completely worn out. Since Jim seems to still be wide awake and full of energy, I think I am going to lie down and ask him to wake me when he goes to bed. That way, I will be able to tend the fire better tonight.

December 11, 1879

Fourth entry. It is before midnight, and Jim is sound asleep. I can hear that thing moving around outside again. It was on the roof, and now it is moving down those steps we dug into the snow. I have the door tied shut with a heavy rope, and I hope it will hold. 

I won’t lie; I’m worried about Jim going out by himself tomorrow to set the snares and traps. After that thing, we saw while we were out, and now with this thing hanging around, it scares me a bit. I don’t know what either of them is, but they are of a size where they could easily be fatal to a man. 

I am going to make the fire extra hot if I can and then lay down to rest. I don’t know if I will sleep while that thing is walking around outside, but I can at least rest some more.  

Sara marked her place and closed the journal. The strength and courage of the two men in that book were almost beyond belief. She felt a sense of awe about them that she had never felt toward anyone before. So many people she knew would have given up and been resigned to their fate. 

Sara wanted to be more like the men she was reading about. She rarely backed down from a challenge, but she was not sure how she would react in their situation when she was honest with herself. Sara wanted to know without a doubt that she would have the same fight that they did.