The contract that freed her 의 모든 챕터: 챕터 11 - 챕터 20

Sweat ran down my back as I grinded my teeth and kept running with the last bit of strength my body could muster up before I collapsed. The air in the room was hot, so hot my usually pale face had now fully transformed to red.Maybe it was the words that kept ringing in my ear, the words left behind by a man I had not seen for the last couple of weeks. It could also be because I had been on this damn treadmill for an hour and thirty minutes, forcing myself to the point where I felt how my legs were about to give out.I pressed the stop button on the side of the machine and got off it, almost throwing myself on the safe floor, letting the coldness of the floor cool my burning skin. I hated running. I know the sport I played was all about running and speed, but weirdly enough, I have never disliked ice skating because of it. Quite the opposite actually — I loved the sport and everything about it. The torturous outfits, the coldness, and the long hours of training did not bother me. Losi

After dinner that day, I spent an extra hour in the kitchen baking with Marta in order to calm down the storm in my chest that threatened to burst out and wipe every single one of my problems. I knew better. These things were not going to be sorted out by my anger; if anything, it would just make everything even worse. It always did.I was terrible at controlling my anger, and that often led to me doing things that I would usually avoid. I learned that from my past, a past the closest to me exploited every single time they wanted to hurt me, a past I would never be able to erase. That was fine with me, really. Even if I could not erase my past, it kept people away from me. It was easier being a killer than a people pleaser.A killer did not get disrespected the same way a people pleaser was.A stained reputation was the hardest one to restore. After trying to build up your image with no result, you learn how to give up; you learn how to enjoy the bad and use it to your advantage. My r

I sat in the meeting room together with my talent agent and Laura, as usual whenever a new season started. They never changed their stupid plan, yet they forced us to sit through these torturous meetings that lasted at least an hour, listening to each one of them repeat the same thing.The goal is the first position. Your jumps must be higher, steadier, and you must have the mentality to withstand the hate and cameras that will be pointed towards you during the competition. Every season I listened to the same TED‑talk. It was almost like they thought we wouldn’t understand; they never bothered changing a word of the script the company had given them.After the awful TED‑talk, it was time for the weight. It was a ritual, almost like an exam of some sort. I stood on the scale, holding my breath and hoping that it would not be higher than my last weight, even though I knew I had gained some during vacation. It was healthy weight, strongly recommended by my doctor to avoid relapsing.“See

I did not know how or when I fell asleep, but I woke up on the bed the next day, my blanket tightly wrapped around me as I had fallen asleep in my training clothes. That was gross, especially now when I thought about the amount of sweat these clothes had soaked up during my long training hours.I slid off the bed and hurried towards the bathroom, pushing aside the thought that kept running in my head. Did I get a pimple on my back? That would be a nightmare, especially now when I would be in backless training clothes. I would hate it if my back was adorned with a big red pimple.After my hot shower, I stood in front of the mirror, turning my neck to the best of my ability, trying to see if I had any pimples on my back. After what felt like an hour of inspecting myself, I happily came out of the shower and ran to the closet. The room was cold even if the weather outside seemed quite sunny; I still felt cold for some reason.I put on a simple black set of training clothes and started ma

It was safe to say that she was not very happy with my choice, but I could not care any less about her happiness. As a coach she was shitty — never once did she care about our health and wellbeing. If she could get paid for our misery, then I was allowed to compete in whichever category I wanted to. Either way she was going to make my life harder; I might as well do it with someone I enjoy being around. “You do realize she is going to be up your ass for this, right?” Selin said as she held my leg, stretching it as far up as she could until my muscles protested in pain. I tapped her shoulder before I pulled my hamstring back. “I could not give any less shit about her opinions right now. Either way she was not going to make these coming three months easier.” We switched positions as she stood and balanced herself on one leg, holding my shoulder as I now stretched her left leg as high as I possibly could before I felt her tapping my shoulder. “Let’s not talk about her. Tell me about yo