Cool Funny Sayings Novels & Stories

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Hailey May Collins is the school's cool girl; Smart, confident, mysterious, and intimidating. Everything that she does is admired by everybody, even by the way she walks or talks. Everybody worships her. But her cool-girl personality is nothing but a mask to hide her true self - a nervous and paranoid teen who's constantly worried about her social status. But even though she's having a hard time putting on her mask, she would gladly play along until after her senior year. That is until she discovered the secret of the Student Council students, whose real identities are The Pandorgriffs. The most popular girl and boy band of the year. Now, everywhere she goes, they follow her like a stalker. But what’s worse than having famous stalkers? It's when they find out about her secret as well.

My mom tends to speak the truth no matter what the occasion it is. When my boyfriend visits our family, Mom makes small talk with him happily. "Tiffany once contracted HPV when she was in her second year of college. Please don't judge her for that. Haha!" When my friend comes over to hang out with me, Mom leans in to take a closer look at her face. "With those high cheekbones and hollow cheeks, you've got 'short life' written all over your face! I guess only Tiffany is willing to hang out with you." Later on, I finally nailed a job as a governmental employee after putting in hard work for half a year. During the background check, Mom starts running her mouth about the "truth" again. "I think there's something wrong with Tiffany's moral ethics. First of all, she loves lying. Second of all, she's disrespectful to me. If your department does end up hiring her, you've gotta be careful." Undoubtedly, I get disqualified because of her words. That's when I get into a huge fight with Mom. But that woman has the audacity to talk back to me. "All I did was speak the truth about you! The fact that your department doesn't want you means that you lack the capability! Don't ever think that you get to pin the blame on me!" I fall silent at her words. Since Mom loves telling the truth that much, I might as well use the truth to destroy her.

A mysterious quest. A lost prince. An unknown past. A huge stake in the world. A great mystery. A prince sets himself on a quest that will shake the continent and even the world. An epic fantasy story filled with adventure, power, destiny, fun and loving characters, mystery. Fall in love with a brand new set of funny, cool and quirky characters that are sure to make every moment worthwhile. Witness what it truly means to Rise... A Legend!

When my wife, Rebecca Walsh, misses my chemotherapy session for the 99th time, I come across a post on social media. "I won my lover's heart with a kidney. She will surely love me to death, right?" The attached photo shows a couple kissing on a street in Targon. The woman has a small heart-shaped scar on her neck. What a coincidence—it is exactly the same as Rebecca's. The woman who nearly dies for me falls in love with someone else so easily. The comments below are full of encouragement from strangers. "Man, you're so brave. Wishing you everlasting love." "If I were the woman, I would love you to death." I leave a comment too. "I hope you are together until you are in the depths of hell, you cheating pair. As for me, the husband, I will step aside to make way for you." One minute later, the post disappears. It doesn't matter. I post on my own account. I write, "After I spent three years battling cancer, my wife fell in love with the man who's supposed to be the kidney donor." The attached images are our marriage certificate and the same photo of them kissing from earlier.

Late one night after getting off work, I was scrolling through my company group chat when a colleague shared a piece of news. The headline was horrifying. "Night-Shift Courier Murdered During Delivery, Police Suspect Robbery." I zoomed in on the crime scene photo that had been partially pixelated, and a chill ran straight down my spine. Lying in a pool of blood, the courier who had been hacked to death was unmistakably me. I had scrolled into news of my own death. Almost at the same time, my delivery app began vibrating violently. "Urgent pickup! Destination: Unit 704 Hawthorne Ridge Apartments, Building 7. Time limit: 15 minutes. Penalty for timeout: Death." As I stared at the notification that read "Pickup failed three times", the searing pain of my brutal death surged through my body. So that was it. I had already died three times. When I forced open the half-closed security door of 704 for the fourth time, a thin delivery envelope lay quietly inside. I tore it open. A photograph slipped out. It was a picture of my dismembered body. The timestamp showed tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. On the back was a single line written in fresh blood: "Next time, remember to pick it up on time." At that moment, the red indicator light on the hallway surveillance camera suddenly went dark. I looked up. From the ventilation opening in the exact same spot, a single eye was staring straight at me. The mole at the corner of that eye was identical to mine.

Eight years ago, my first love, Zyla Garcia, dumped me. Right in front of me, she threw herself into the arms of a rich scion named Brett Salway. She said condescendingly, "Kieran, you asked me to wait for you for three years. But how many three years does a woman have?" I begged her desperately, but she remained unmoved. Brett even ordered someone to pin me to the ground and force me to finish a bottle of red wine before letting me leave. "You should thank me, Kieran. Otherwise, you would never have the chance to drink such expensive wine in your life!" Brett sneers. I watched as they got into a luxury car and drove off. Eight years later, I am one of the most powerful figures in this city—and I run into them again.

My mother-in-law needed blood when she fell down the stairs and suffered major blood loss. The doctors were worried that the blood bank did not have enough of her blood type, so I called Rebecca Chilton on the phone to get her to hurry to the hospital to help her mother. Fortunately, she arrived on time, and my mother-in-law was saved and was no longer in danger. Before I could relax, I found out another piece of bad news. When Rebecca was not by his side, her severely depressed crush jumped off the building. It happened not long after she left for the hospital. Rebecca was filled with regret and blamed me for everything, so she pushed me off the building as well. When I opened my eyes again, I found out I had been reborn. This time, I decided to respect her choice, but she ended up regretting it instead.

My son’s horrified scream echoed from downstairs at eight o’clock at night. Meanwhile, a message popped up in a group chat for the apartment building’s residents. “Silas, does your son even have a heart? He won’t even play with my girl.” I froze, recalling that the neighbor didn’t have a child. The next second, the neighbor sent a video. The footage showed a vicious Doberman lunging toward me to attack Ethan. It was bad enough that the neighbor didn’t stop the attack, but he even stood there, applauding. “Good girl. You’re amazing. You’ve got a big boy crying already. As Ethan was tackled to the floor, I shook in rage. Since the neighbor loved playing games, I’d show him a thing or two. I raced to the kitchen and grabbed the knife before charging to the scene.