Dumb Funny Things Novels & Stories

My parents made Dana and me settle it with rock-paper-scissors. Loser had to marry the Baillieu heir—the so-called "freak." I won. Then flipped the script. "Cool. I'll take Blake. Dana can have the empire." Last time? I was dumb in love with Michael—Dad's adopted golden boy. Chose the company, stayed behind, and handed Dana off to Blake Baillieu. Big mistake. Six months in, Dana was gone—wrecked by that marriage. Right before she croaked, she texted Michael blaming me. Said I lost the game and ditched the deal, dumping Blake on her. Michael? Snapped. Dude went full psycho. Turns out, he and Dana had been sneaking around for years. He dragged me behind the Baillieu estate and forced a dozen intellectually disabled men to assault me. "If it weren't for your cruelty, Dana would still be alive! You'll pay for everything she suffered!" I was over eight months pregnant—almost due. Begged him to stop. Begged for my baby's life. He didn't care. Kept ordering them to take turns. Even when my water broke, he just watched. Both my baby and I died that night. Now? I'm back. And this time, I rewrote the story. Step one: marry Blake.

My girlfriend suddenly told me she had six small beads implanted inside her, blushing as she said it was meant to please me. The next day, I made soup and brought it to her office. To my surprise, I saw her in the arms of my good friend, Henry Somerset. Henry wrapped his arm around her waist, his voice deep. "Baby, you're such a good girl. You really did the implantation as I told. My dumb friend even thought you did it for him. Do you reckon he'll lose his mind if he finds out you and I are getting married soon?" My girlfriend's voice turned cold. "This is nothing more than a marriage of convenience. I'm warning you not to let Chris find out." Henry chuckled and moved his hand downward. "Don't worry. As long as you keep me happy, I won't get Chris into trouble." After hearing all this behind the door, my entire body went cold. Clutching my phone tightly, I recalled my boss saying he would transfer me to a subsidiary company a few days ago. I no longer hesitated and sent him a text. [Boss, I'd like to be transferred to the subsidiary company in Hailborough City in three days.]

His voice dropped lower. “You saw the news, didn’t you? The little warning on the LED TV?” Her eyes flickered. “…Yes, sir.” “Then why didn’t you turn back?” Her mouth opened, but no words came out. “And you saw they’ve never shown my face on the news.” He tapped his temple, eyes glinting. “But now you’re staring right at me. You know exactly what I look like. You think I’ll let you walk away?” “No! Please!” Isabella’s voice cracked, tears falling. “I promise with my mother’s grave—I’ll never speak of this! Please, just spare me!” Alessandro smirked, lifting his gun. “People like you swear. People like you also betray. Let’s see…” Her whole body locked. “No, no, please—” The gun fired. Isabella screamed. But when she opened her eyes, the bullet hole smoked in the wooden floor beside her. Her chest heaved. Her hands shook. She collapsed onto the ground, sobbing. Alessandro leaned back, laughing softly. Then—something in her snapped. She pushed herself up on trembling legs. “You want to kill me? Then fucking do it!” His brows lifted. “What the fuck is wrong with you gangsters?” she yelled, her voice shaking. “Do I look like someone who can hurt you? You almost made me wet my pants out there with your bullets. Do you think that’s funny?” One of his men growled, stepping forward, hand raised. “How dare you talk to the boss like that—” “Stop,” Alessandro ordered sharply, raising his hand without taking his eyes off her. Isabella’s chest heaved. “You think taking lives is funny?” She beat her chest with her fist. “Fine. I’m going to walk out that door right now. Shoot me if you want.”

DISCLAIMER; BOYxBOY, erotic and 18+ only. “I will just drink my beer here, it is what I always do,” That is a lie, Caleb would probably be banging a blonde by now, now he was trying to act cool, he is just another piece of shit that I would enjoy cracking. “That would be dumb, won’t it?” I asked, seductively, walking closer to him. “Wh…what the fuck are you doing?” he asked as I slammed him to the wall. The party is filled with a bunch of horny teenagers, nobody gives a fuck what you do. “Making your evening eventful,” I whispered into his ear before biting his earlobe. The bottle of beer fell from his hands as he tried to push me off. “Stop…p, I’m not gay,” he wiggled, and that was just making me horny as fuck. “But you like it,” I chuckled, still licking his earlobe, as my hands went underneath his shirt. I pinched his nipple hard and his eyes rolled back. “No… I… don’t,” he lied but it came out as moans, making me smile. Caleb Mike didn't know he was gay till Ralph Landon came along, but Ralph just wanted to take revenge on Caleb for breaking his sister’s heart. Would he end up falling in love?

Back when I was young and dumb, I slapped some college guy working a side gig at a nightclub. My boyfriend had just ditched me for my best friend, Vanessa Shannon. Then, not even five minutes later, I caught her in the corner, sliding her hand under another guy's shirt. He bit his lip and just took it. Something in my brain short-circuited. I stood up and walked over. If Vanessa wanted him, why couldn't I? But the second I reached for him, he smacked my hand away. Vanessa cracked up. The whole private room turned to watch. Mortified, I slapped him. "You work at a place like this. Don't play innocent." Later, my family went broke, and I ended up working at a nightclub just to get by. The private room was loud as hell. I lost a game, and everyone at the table started chanting for me to take my bra off. My face went hot. I stood there, completely frozen. Then a low voice cut through the noise with a cold laugh. "You work at a place like this. Don't play innocent." I looked up. Our eyes locked. His stare was icy, full of pure mockery. It was the college guy I'd slapped years ago.

My husband falls for my cousin at first sight while still married to me. They conspire to make me fall from grace. I end up with a ruined reputation and family. I can't handle the devastation, so I decide to drag them to hell with me as we're on the way to get the divorce finalized. Unexpectedly, all three of us are reborn. As soon as we open our eyes, my husband asks me for a divorce so he can be with my cousin. They immediately get together and leave the country. Meanwhile, I remain and further my medical studies. I work diligently. Six years later, my ex-husband has turned into an internationally renowned artist, thanks to my cousin's help. Each of his paintings sells for astronomical prices, and he's lauded by many. On the other hand, I'm still working at the hospital and saving lives. A family gathering brings us three back together. It looks like life has treated him well as he holds my cousin close and mocks me contemptuously. However, he flies off the handle when he learns I'm about to marry someone else. "How can you get together with someone else when all I did was make a dumb mistake?"

Fate can be a funny thing. One minute, you are the beloved daughter of a powerful alpha, and the next, you're nothing more than a tool used to join forces with another strong pack. And if you don't go along with what is expected of you, the one who is using you for personal gain will make your life a living hell and destroy anything that is precious to you.Because of this, Denali Ozera finds herself married to the cold and ruthless Rosco Torres, alpha of the Crystal Fang pack and enemy not only to her, but her entire family. But by some weird twist of fate, Rosco isn't what others say he is, and he is even willing to help Denali get back everything that was meant to be hers.Together, Denali and Rosco devise a plan to destroy Denali's father and her stepmother and sister. All Rosco asks for in return is Denali's mind, body, and soul.

Book one of The Moon & Sun Series. Fate is a very funny thing. Sometimes it can bring something amazing into your life, a grand new adventure that will test and challenge you. That will help you grow and learn where you belong in this world. Other times, well... she's just a gigantic witch with a sick sense of humour. I never asked for any of this to happen, to be beat down, hurt and struggle and fight everyday to grow and get better. This was never what I imagined my life would be like. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge. And I sure as hell won't let a man define me. I make my own path, I will do what needs to be done and if I have to do it on my own, well then so be it.I'll be stronger for it, and there's nothing a man fears more than a strong woman.

Olivia Harmon's marriage was not ideal. Her husband cheated on her at the time she needed him most. Despite his effort to pay for his mistakes, Olivia never really moved on from her heartbreak. She couldn't understand why someone whom she trusted most would be the one person who betrayed her. And then she met Roman. Blue eyes, full of charms, a smile that could brighten up her darkest nights, funny, and a face that made any woman turned their heads. Their love affair was fervent, refreshing, passionate, romantic, and brief. It was over as soon as it began until they meet again two years later in unexpected circumstances. Lies. Deceit. Guilt. Passion. Love. Infatuation. Olivia found herself in a tug-of-war with herself. Tangled in the complexity of her marriage and her new love. She soon discovered she was not the only one with secrets, leading them to an inevitable doom.

Olwen suddenly received news that lightning struck, her father wanted her to marry Dylan, the son of a rich family. Dylan is a man with a reputation for debauchery, looking down on women. Olwen was not allowed to refuse because it was an obligation she had to fulfill towards her family. After trying every way to get out of the marriage but all failed. Olwen is depressed, desperate to find the pub. There she let herself get drunk and gave her virginity to Luca. The next day, before leaving, Olwen impromptu suggested to Luca that on her wedding day come and take her away and Luca showed up. A strawberry robbery that was never well-planned happened. As a result, a lot of troubles and storms came to the couple. A love born in a situation that is ironic, funny, but encounters opposition from many sides. After going through difficulties and challenges together, will Olwen and Luca have complete happiness?