Eric Cartman Funny Novels & Stories

Sylvain Wilde had been searching for his mate from the moment he shifted. All he wanted was to find his other half and live his happily ever after. Except, he didn't realize that his mate would be of a completely different species from him and that she would be an enemy he'd be willing to give his life for! _____________________________________________ Book 5 of the Mate Series! You have to read Books 1 - 4 to understand this one! Books listed inside!

Nina Facelo is your average type of girl. Hindi maganda at hindi rin naman pangit, simple lang sya kung baga. Mahilig magbasa, manood ng Rom-Com movies, mahilig magbake, kumain, and a k-pop fan with strange hobbies. Kahit na palagi syang natatawag na weirdo, loner, at nerd ay wala siyang paki-alam. She have the best sets of friend, kahit dalawa lang ito. But an accident happened, habang naglalakad sya papunta sa isang bookstore, upang bumili ng libro na palaging bukambibig ng kanyang kaibigan. It's was tittled with Illuminating Darkness. A Romance-Fantasy novel. An unexpected faith occurred she was about to go home, she saw an old woman who's in trouble. The old woman was being harassed by thieves! Pilit nitong hinihila ang hand bag ng matanda, and when she saw this, ay nagpakabayani ito at ipinagtanggol ang matanda without knowing the consequences. And right before her eyes, she was stab! It happen so fast, that in a blink of an eye. She was clutching her stomach, watching the blood flowing from her tummy,like a fountain. Akala nya mamamatay na sya. But suddenly, she woke up in a different body. The body of Lady Marina, daughter of the powerhouse Edwards. What in the world just happen?!

Ever heard the saying, “There is no secret that won't seek the light.” Nadia and Lyra are daughters born from the illicit affair between Senator Gideon Powell and Elizabeth ginger. Life for these ladies changes when their father dies and they are thrown into the trenches. Their mother is killed leaving the two alone. In order to save herself, Lyra abandons her sister at a child prostitution home disguised as an orphanage and goes to America. Through countless scheming, she ends up married to billionaire Adam Vanhelsing. Years later, Nadia enters are sister's life to take revenge using one of her sister's stepson Justin Vanhelsing, but ends up falling in love with another stepson, Eric Vanhelsing. Peace is lost. Tables are turned. Swords are drawn. Who will remain standing after the war? Will Love prove its power or would the Vanhelsings be destroyed?

Two months into my cold war with Sean, the lover he’d been keeping finally danced her way right up to me, the real deal. Everyone expected me to react the same way I always had before, kicking up a huge scene to stake my claim. Instead, I looked at the intimate photos of Sean and her in the group chat, smiled, and sent them my blessing. [Looking good. Wishing you two a long and happy life.] The chat went dead silent. Sean must’ve sobered up from his little paradise because in the middle of the night, he drove home and pounded on my door. He was furious. “Do you think this is funny?” However, I only met his gaze calmly. “Honestly, after all these years, none of it is.”

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

I came home a day early from my business trip and hid in the closet to surprise Eric Carter. At seven, he told the housekeeper to cook several dishes. At nine, he told me hoarsely that he had taken a bath and changed the bedsheets in my room. He was sure that I would love it. I did not believe him because I had heard him moaning in bed with Willow Summers for three hours from the closet. Willow Summers was his childhood sweetheart and my sister. I clicked on a webpage from my cell without hesitation. "Miss Summers, your appointment for creating a fake death has been confirmed. Time of Death: One week later Location of Death: The wedding hall on the top floor of the Century Building Cause of Death: Suicide from jumping off a building!"

At one in the morning, the general manager posted the project assignments in the group chat and tagged everyone. I reviewed my responsibilities carefully, going through each detail to make sure I understood exactly what was expected of me. When I was done, I typed a simple "OK" and hit send. Two seconds later, my phone rang. It was him. As soon as I answered, his voice came through, icy and sharp, filled with unmistakable disgust. "Eric, I'm very disappointed in you. I must have been blind to trust you with anything important." My mind went completely blank. "What… what do you mean?" I asked, the words slipping out before I could stop them. What he said next was something I never could have imagined.

Fate can be a funny thing. One minute, you are the beloved daughter of a powerful alpha, and the next, you're nothing more than a tool used to join forces with another strong pack. And if you don't go along with what is expected of you, the one who is using you for personal gain will make your life a living hell and destroy anything that is precious to you.Because of this, Denali Ozera finds herself married to the cold and ruthless Rosco Torres, alpha of the Crystal Fang pack and enemy not only to her, but her entire family. But by some weird twist of fate, Rosco isn't what others say he is, and he is even willing to help Denali get back everything that was meant to be hers.Together, Denali and Rosco devise a plan to destroy Denali's father and her stepmother and sister. All Rosco asks for in return is Denali's mind, body, and soul.

If these three months pass and I don't shed a single tear because of you, Chris... you will apologize to me and my family at the door of our home in my city, on both knees in our neighborhood! His eyes narrowed and shone intensely, only seconds until he came towards me and I was still leaning on the door, he stood right in front of me and raised my chin with his left hand.. He forced me to stare at him and said coldly: I apologize to you?? you ?! I have heard many jokes in my life..but a funny joke like this..I have never heard of it..this was what our agreement stipulated before I threw myself into his world, but events took another turn that I did not expect..who are you!! Which one of them would you be? What is the nature of your colorful world?! Rather, the most important.. What is my fault in all these intertwining and where fate takes me?

Zoey Blake swore off athletes the day she caught her hockey player boyfriend cheating with a cheerleader. She's done with games, on and off the ice, and plans to keep her distance from that world for good. But when her new tutoring assignment lands her with four players from her ex’s rival team, staying away gets complicated. They're nothing like she expected, frustrating, funny, and unexpectedly kind. And when they ask her to help with a plan to get back at her ex, she agrees, even if it means pretending to be part of their world again. What starts as a simple favour slowly blurs the lines Zoey worked hard to draw. The more time she spends with them, the harder it becomes to remember why she built those walls in the first place. She promised herself she’d never fall for another hockey player. She never imagined four of them might change her mind.