Jeff Dunham Quotes Peanut Novels & Stories

My wife made me get a vasectomy. Not once, but ninety-nine times. Right before the hundredth operation, the doctor looked at me with pity in his eyes as the anesthesia failed to fully kick in. "Ms. Gibson really knows how to destroy a man," he murmured. "She's put him through ninety-nine vasectomies, then had them reversed—again and again. However, his body's long since broken. There's no chance of children now." "It's probably for her ex. Word is, it's his own brother. The scandals in these wealthy families—unbelievable." Because of a hospital mix-up at birth, my and Jeff Cunningham's fates were exchanged. He grew up with the Cunningham family, while I lived a poor life. Years later, my parents found the truth, taking me in and sending Jeff away. To make things worse, I became Wynnie Gibson's new fiancé. I once asked her, barely able to speak through the pain, why she would marry someone she did not love. She looked at me calmly. "To get revenge," she said. "You came home and stole Jeff's place. He was the one I love. He drank himself to death after you returned." Even my biological parents knew she was poisoning me. However, they turned a blind eye. They did nothing to stop her. They knew Wynnie had got pregnant with Jeff's child through IVF—planning to raise the child and let him inherit the family fortune. I coughed up blood and threw myself into the sea. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day I was first reunited with them. This time, when I saw the sorrow in their eyes—sorrow not for me, but for the son they lost— I chose to let them go.

Sixteen years old spoilt brat, with weird quotes from her diary, Katherine Amelia Jones is being stripped off her position as the only child when her Dad remarries a woman with five children, who she develops this sudden hatred for. From being bullied to getting wanted and longed for, by her bully, her step brother.Things takes a sullen turn when she finally lets her guard down and gets involved in a proscriptive relationship with the eldest male of her step siblings.***A mind blowing story filled with suspense. Totally worth reading.

“I want you to ride me, peanut butter, make your daddy proud, grind on me so good that it takes away my stress of the week.” His strong arms carrying her to bed as he sits down the pile of money, he had kept just too wet them in her juices as he fucks her. Her eyes look at him no break of eye contact as he shifts closer to her his big crotch grows even more as he now straddles her and she lets out a moan. “Just make daddy proud baby”

"I love you..." His pitch increases as rage joins in, but still, he manages to retain gentility in his voice. "...but that doesn't mean I can't slit your throat, peanut!... DON'T ANGER ME." Blood drips down my wrist as his blue eyes tore me down, I could feel my fragile, lean wrist trapped within his muscular grip. As he screamed, my heart skipped into my mouth, memories filled my head, memories on how I willingly walked into a trap set up by the devil himself. **** Cupid strikes yet again, boring a deadly arrow in her chest... Krystal Gomez begins a pursuit. Little does she know that soon, she'll become his prey.

Ryan Dixon and Jeff Gray don't like each other. Every time they meet, they are filled with hate. They both have feelings for the school idol, but they didn't expect the other party to actually be a cross-dressing man. In a moment his worldview was shaken. Ryan Dixon got attached and bound with a Supernatural System and it told him, “Hey Ryan, I am attached to you now and I will make sure you build up your friendship with Jeff and tasks will be given to you at random, and Penalties will be imposed if they are not completed on time” Ryan Dixon sneered coldly, "What a joke! I won't! and that will never happen" “Hehe… That’s so gonna happen as your host in-between, You will have to listen to me or get ready to see the WORST things.” The system exploded. Afterwards, the system made Ryan disappear from his present position and appeared in an Unknown Place…(FIND OUT MORE IN THE STORY) . . . THIS IS WHEN IT ALL BEGAN….

All Tamara Jones wanted to do was go on one last solo adventure before starting college at the University of Georgia. Being an outdoor enthusiast, she had just the perfect thing in mind. Tamara had it all planned out, an overnight hike/camping trip through the Great Smoky Mountains. What she didn’t plan on however, was being hunted through the forest by a terrifying unknown predator while also getting caught in a mudslide. Thankfully, The Alpha of the Red River Falls pack, Elliot Bishop, rescued her from falling off a cliff just in time. He knew it the moment they met, Elliot had found his mate. After a chance encounter with Tamara, so did Luke Dunham, the Alpha of the Huntsman pack. With Tamara already having to deal with coming to terms that werewolves are real and having two mates that want to start a pack war over her, one sinister threat makes itself known and puts both packs in grave danger.

HE ASKED ME TO DIE FOR THE WOMAN HE LOVED. SO I DID His grandfather forced him to marry me after one terrible night, But he brought his lover into our home and made me invisible in my own marriage. I thought if I loved him hard enough, he'd finally see me. Then I got pregnant. The same night I planned to tell him about our baby, Jeff came home with a request that shattered my world: Irene needed a heart transplant, and he expected me to donate mine. He was asking me to die. To sacrifice myself and our unborn child for a woman who'd stolen my story and his heart. That night, Claire Anderson disappeared forever. Five years later, I returned as Amber Sterling…a powerful CEO who's everything Jeff once dismissed. Elegant. Ruthless. Untouchable. And determined to take back everything he stole from me. But revenge gets complicated when Jeff discovers I'm alive. Even more complicated when he meets our son. And impossibly complicated when I realize the man who wanted me dead is now desperate to win me back. He destroyed me once. Now he's begging for a second chance. But some hearts can't be transplanted…they have to be earned. --- A gripping tale of betrayal, survival, and the power of becoming unbreakable. This is a second-chance romance with a strong heroine who refuses to stay a victim.

Jenny Lim's only dream is to have a happy and whole family. When she and her husband Jeff first got together, everything was fine. As their relationship lasts, Jeff's behavior gradually changes. He was often abused in front of her daughters. She could hardly accept when her husband came home with his mistress. And her daughters see them. In their room they commit fornication. She is full of anger and can't take what her husband did. Despite all the hardships she experienced the prison for a year, Jenny doesn't give up because she still wants and see and be with her two daughters. After her being imprisoned, she joined a secret organization and became a secret assassin, because she doesn't a choice. She killed a lot of people because this is her job. Until her hearts turns cold, it is easy for her to kill, especially she knows that those people she killed are also criminal.

After seven years of marriage, my husband grew tired of our quiet life and took a college student as his mistress. That fragile, pitiable girl held Alain Roth so completely he didn't come home for an entire month, no matter how I begged. On our son's third birthday, I came to their villa, holding the feverish child and pleading for him to return. Inside, he stayed lost in passion with her. Jeff Roth drew his last breath in my arms while their pleasure echoed through the night. At the funeral, Alain held me and wept, swearing he would return to the family and love only me. I agreed, driven solely by Jeff's dying wish. Four years later, a video from his old kindergarten surfaced, showing Alain with a radiant Mabel Flores and a three-year-old boy. The boy smiled brightly at the camera, lifting a trophy high. "Mom, Dad, we're the happiest family in the world!"

In her right state of mind, she would never have even been in a strangers car more less kissing him deeply at the backseat, but she wasn't in her right state of mind. Jeff's hand came down her face, to her neck, he held her waist gently and she let out a soft moan. She had nothing on but a silk gown that had thin straps. “Sir, ma'm we're here" Walter said out loud. They hadn't noticed the car had stopped some minutes ago. Emily's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she quickly sat upright, and picked her purse and heels. …. They had a misunderstanding when they met, an intimate moment the second time they met. All a big misunderstanding and they swore to never cross paths again. Little did Emily know Jeff was her new boss and the first son of Frank Aston, Billionaire and Head of Aston corporations. Third time’s the charm, but not for these two who knew they had fallen for each other but couldn’t be together.