Reading Pun Novels & Stories

At my son's tenth birthday, I unexpectedly gained the power to read minds. Standing before the candles, he made his wish. "I hope I score a hundred on my finals." Before I could commend his maturity, a second wish slammed into my ears. "I don't like Dad. I want Mr. Shaw to be my dad.'' My hands froze halfway through a clap.

Madison Hodge, my fiancee, thinks that weighing 160 pounds makes me too fat. So, I sign up for a gym membership and work out as much as I can. But the more I exercise, the more weight I put on. Meanwhile, Daniel Webb, a good buddy of mine, livestreams his supper every night. Despite feasting on the most calorie-rich food out there, not only does he not put on any weight, but he even loses ten pounds. As Madison rips into me for not losing any weight, I suddenly find myself able to hear the thoughts of my tabby cat, Furball. His mind goes, "Why are you so silly, Master? Daniel chose you as his target for the Weight Swapping System he has! No matter how many pounds you work off, it's Daniel who loses the weight. He's trying to ruin your life!" Feeling completely stunned, I turn to Daniel, only to see that he's staring at Madison with an affectionate gaze. Once again, I hear more of Furball's thoughts. "Daniel is hopelessly in love with that awful woman. Once he slims down, the two of them will start hooking up. They'll team up to take your life and live off your life insurance payout. They'll even enjoy their intimacy during your funeral!" Now that I know the truth, I simply let out a chuckle. Since this good buddy of mine loves losing weight so much, I'm sure he'll be extremely grateful to me if I make sure he weighs no more than 100 pounds, right?

Just when I was about to step through airport security for my Around-the-World trip, I heard the twins in my womb, a boy and a girl, shouting. 'Mom! Can you stop thinking about going to have fun? The whole world is going to become a frozen block of ice in a month! You're still thinking about flying around at a time like this? Don't be silly!' 'My brother's right! Hurry home and stock up on food and medicine already! Renovate our mansion! Turn the garden into food storage! Turn the swimming pool into a reservoir!' My heart skipped a beat, and the milk in my hand spilled all over the floor. The passenger behind me urged me impatiently, "Can you hurry up? You're holding everyone up." I ignored him. Instead, I turned around and called my assistant. I also gave him another order. "Get me ten thousand pounds of grains and five thousand pounds of pork belly. The ones with the skin on. I want them now!" From that moment on, Kirsten, the woman in Harbor City who only knew how to burn money and fly all over the world, changed. She became Kirsten, ruler of the frozen wasteland.

At yet another family gathering, Kirsten Weber's male assistant, Jordan Steele, is sitting in the seat that should be mine. I ask Kirsten, "He's sitting in the host's seat. Don't you have anything to say about that?" Kirsten shoots back impatiently, "Since you showed up late, don't blame someone else for taking your seat. There's an empty seat next to it. You can take it if you want. If you don't want it, then get out." I am about to speak when her inner thoughts suddenly flood into my mind. She is saying inwardly, "Honey, get angry already. Tell me you need me. Tell me you have to sit beside me. Prove that you love me. That's the only way I'll feel secure." This time, I do not give Kirsten what her heart desires. Instead, I lower my head and slowly remove my wedding ring. Calmly, I say, "Since you won't even save the seat for the man of the house, I suppose you don't need me anymore. Let's get a divorce, Kirsten."

I arrived at yet another family gathering to see Declan Mercer's assistant sitting in my seat. I turned to him. "She's sitting in the hostess's seat. Do you really have nothing to say?" He looked at me like I was wasting his time. "You showed up late, so don't blame her for taking your spot. There's an empty seat right there. You can sit there, or you can get out." I was about to respond when Declan's inner voice flooded my head. "Come on, babe. Get mad already. "Tell me you need me. Tell me you want to sit next to me. "Prove to me that you love me. That's the only way I'll feel secure." This time, I did not give his inner voice what it wanted. I simply looked down and slid the ring off my finger. "If there isn't a place for me at this table, then I suppose I'm not needed here anymore. "Let's get a divorce."

After our parents passed away, two couples approached Serena and me at the same time, both wishing to adopt us. Serena dashed ahead, rushing toward the impoverished couple before I could move. “Hill, I’ll let you have the wealthy family,” she said, looking at me with a sweet smile. “I only care about your happiness.” However, I could hear her inner thoughts perfectly clear. She was privately gloating, telling me to enjoy being used as a mere tool for a business marriage, trapped inside a mansion for the rest of my life. That was when I knew—she had been reborn too. In our past life, Serena had been the one to rush toward the luxury cars, successfully becoming the pampered daughter of a wealthy family. Yet, she couldn’t handle their strict rules and discipline. She ended up sneaking out at night to wild out at bars, accidentally leaked classified family secrets, and was ultimately kicked out of the house. Meanwhile, I relied entirely on my own hard work to study abroad, eventually becoming a world-renowned scientific genius. On the day I was set to receive my grand award, Serena completely lost her mind. She stormed the stage and drove a knife straight into my body. “Why do you get to live such a free and successful life?!” she screamed. As she wished, we were both given a second chance to choose. Without a shred of hesitation, I turned around and stepped straight into the luxury car. She had no idea that without money, true freedom didn’t even exist. And this wealthy family? They were nothing more than my stepping stone in this life.

At the Thanksgiving dinner, Raphael's assistant Daphne was sitting in my seat. I frowned at Raphael. “Why is she in the Donna's seat? Doesn’t she know, and don’t you?” Raphael clicked his tongue, impatient. “You're the one who showed up late. People sit where they want. If it bothers you, leave.” I opened my mouth to argue, and his thoughts reached me before I could. [Scarlett, get angry. Fight back.] [Tell me you're my wife, the Donna of the Sterling family, that no one else has the right to sit at my side.] [Prove you love me. It's the only thing that makes me feel safe.] This time, I didn't give his thoughts what they were begging for. I slid the wedding ring off my finger instead. “That's the Donna's seat. If you've decided she belongs in it, I won't argue.” “Let's get divorced.”

My sister poisoned me. All because her mate was a pale shadow next to mine. Now, I'm back where it all began. The Mating Ceremony, five years ago. In my last life, Sarah and I chose our mates at the Pack Alliance gala. She chose the most powerful Alpha, the future Alliance leader, Damon. But she could never bear him a pup. Damon despised her. He abused her. He even went feral during his curse and nearly killed her. She shoved me toward Liam, the Alpha of a failing pack. She never guessed Liam’s power would explode, that he’d one day tear the title of High Alpha from Damon’s grasp. Then, on the day of Liam's coronation, Sarah poisoned me out of jealousy. I opened my eyes again. We were back at the mate selection ceremony. Sarah announced to everyone she was choosing Liam, and I was shoved toward her ex-mate, Damon. But I suddenly heard her inner scream: [Die, Elena. Just die! You and that rabid wolf Damon can go to hell together. Liam will still be High Alpha, and I will be the ultimate Luna!] But I just smirked as I stumbled into Damon’s arms. Sarah had no idea. The “perfect mate” she’d chosen was already plotting to consume her very soul.

I was just about to drink a soup meant to supplement my pregnancy, a frantic voice suddenly called out. "Mommy, don't drink it! It's an abortion drug. Someone's trying to harm you!" Startled, my hand jerked, and I knocked the soup over. My husband's cousin teared up, her voice choking, "B-But I cooked that soup myself as an apology…" I didn't pay her any heed, only checking the contents of the medicinal soup. There was a large amount of poison in it, enough to not just harm the baby, but even make it impossible for me to ever conceive again! "Mommy, it was me! I protected you!" I caressed my pregnant belly, listening as the child inside told me that he was the incarnation of a lucky star, sent to bring me good fortune. Because of this, we even gave him the nickname Lucky. And sure enough, under his guidance, I helped my husband secure numerous contracts. The whole family was overjoyed. I grew to love him even more, consuming precious supplements as if they were free. Within just three months, my family's assets grew tenfold, while I grew thirty pounds. Just as I stuffed the roast pork into my mouth, I heard a weak, faint voice. "Mom, don't listen to him! He was switched into your womb, and he stole my good luck! "If you continue listening to him, he'll be the death of us both after he's born!" Confused, I stopped eating. Who was I to believe, when there were two voices within my womb?

I was super clingy, always trailing after my boyfriend, Nate, like a lost puppy, constantly craving more of his attention. Tonight as I snuggled in his arms, pressing soft kisses to his lips as usual, I suddenly saw translucent comments fleshing across my vision, one after another. "Hasn't she noticed our Nate, the male lead, is trying his best to avoid her?" "Nate hates physical contact, especially with her. She can't seriously think he's with her because he loves her, right?” "Relax. Nate's true love, the heroine, is about to appear. Once she does, he's going to dump this stupid bitch so hard." My heart skipped a beat. The next second, I pulled away from Nate's chest. Nate glanced down at me. Something that looked suspiciously like irritation flickered across his face. “What’s wrong?" he asked.