So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

My childhood friend, whom I hadn’t contacted for years, kept calling nonstop during an important meeting. After the meeting, he spoke in a sharp tone. “Do you think you’re too big for your britches? I’m getting engaged and you’re not even coming back to help out. Do I have to invite you?” I was representing my country at an international scientific forum, so I could only decline politely. Unexpectedly, he turned all haughty. “Fine then. If you’re not coming back, then just send me a gift with four circles and I’ll let it slide. Four circles? Thinking he meant ten thousand with four zeroes, I immediately agreed. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you ten thousand dollars as a wedding gift.” “Ten grand? Who the hell are you kidding? “My wife is the eldest daughter of the Jeffersons, the most prestigious family in Cirrus. Only the most distinguished people are on the guest list. Seeing that we’re old friends, I’m letting you attend. It’s your great honor!” He cursed angrily and sent me the invitation. I was struck dumb the moment I opened it. My aloof ice queen of a wife, who kept strangers at bay, was locked in a passionate kiss with her arms wrapped around my childhood friend’s waist. “Four zeroes, huh? How about four wreaths?” My gaze darkened as I clutched my phone. Four funeral wreaths ought to count as four circles, too!

Ever since I can remember, I was Nina's blood bank. Nina was like a glass princess. One sneeze and she could break. She needed blood all the time just to stay okay. Mom had her tubes untied just to have me to save Nina. My arms were always full of needle marks. Mom and Dad looked at me like they felt bad. "Chloe, you're a good girl. Nina's sick. She doesn't mean it when she gets mad. Be patient with her." I made myself smile. "I know. You can take more. I'm not scared." They turned away and cried. I thought if I stayed good and didn't complain, they'd love me someday. Then I won first place in a painting contest. Nina ripped the bandage off her hand and started crying. "Why are you showing off? Why am I the sick one? I hate you!" Mom shoved me to the ground. "Your sister can't even go to school. What are you bragging about some dumb paper for? How can you be this mean? Why couldn't you be the sick one?" Dad carried Nina out. He didn't look at me. I ran after the car all the way to the hospital. I only heard the doctor say, "Without a full blood replacement, she won't make it three months." I looked at my arm. 'Nina, please don't hate me anymore. If I give you my life, will that be enough?'

As the Don of Italy's most powerful mafia family, my father adopted two orphaned brothers to serve as bodyguards for my sister and me. The older one—tall, broad-shouldered, and watchful—fell for my sister the moment he saw her. That left me with his "autistic" younger brother. I didn't have the heart to send Edward back to the orphanage, where he'd surely be bullied, so I kept him. He never spoke, so I took him to the best psychiatrists money could buy. I spent two hours every day telling him jokes, even though he never once cracked a smile. He couldn't protect me, so I taught myself martial arts—and begged my father not to cast him out. I thought he was just deeply traumatized. That with enough patience, he'd come around. Then the cruise ship went down. He tore the last life jacket straight off my body. The first words he ever said to me: "Sorry, but Bianca's life jacket is defective." Bianca—my sister. He watched me slip beneath the waves, gripping my hand one last time: "I failed you in this life. I'll make it up to you in the next." Turns out his silence was never autism. Just an act—one he only kept up around me. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day we chose our bodyguards. This time? I skipped the bodyguard farce entirely. Decided to live my own life. But now it seems I've caught the eye of someone far more dangerous...

Zoe Grace Langston, a 17-year-old girl, is forced to stay at her brother’s apartment while their parents are abroad. At first, she thought she would only be staying with her brother, Zach. But she was wrong. Zach has a roommate named Max—Maximillian Jones Shepard, a 31-year-old man with a free and passionate lifestyle. Their first encounter happens when Zoe is masturbating in Max’s room. Then, their other meetings take place in awkward and heated situations because Max constantly teases Zoe and throws dirty jokes at her. Until one night, they sleep together, and that night becomes Zoe’s first time. Their relationship is built on a burning passion that grows wilder and wilder, making Zoe even more curious about adult sexual life, which she has never experienced before. Meanwhile, Max is always willing to fulfill Zoe’s wild fantasies with everything she wants from him. However, the relationship does not go as well as Zoe fantasized. What if they had to hide the relationship from Zach because he clearly wouldn’t approve of it? How will Zoe handle the problem with her school boyfriend, Jack, while she’s already in a relationship with Max? What if one day, a woman shows up claiming that she’s pregnant with Max’s child? And what if all this time, there’s a red string between Max and Zoe from the past that they never expected? What if Max is someone from the dark world who pulls Zoe into the same darkness? What if Max is a part of her past that she has never remembered until now? Can Zoe, who is still a young woman, face all the problems caused by her relationship with Max?

"I never wanted this with you. Leia forced me into this! If you hadn't lied about a mate bond, did you think I'd have chosen to keep your mark?! Why do you still keep me anyway?! Reject me, Kayden and let me leave!” I yelled out in anger, thrusting my arms forward and flanking him at his side. He winced but still held me tight against him even as I bucked and kicked. His lips curled back in a small smirk as his chest heaved when he lazily dragged his fingers through his hair. "Tell me, Renna. What did you think would happen when you jumped in here? Amari was reckless enough to bring you here, but she isn't dumb enough to not have told you where this was, and what this very lake you stand in, does to lovers." His grin broadened, and he tutted, "Unless, Little Wolf, you were indeed hoping something would happen? Does it excite you to see me in a rut? Did you wish that I would take you right here, right now and affirm my claims and desire for you?" Kayden taunted. †★† Renna, the eldest daughter of the Crimson Moon Pack, endures a life of torment. Exploited by her ruthless stepsister Leia, and betrayed by her former mate Kieran she finds herself tossed in the middle of a century-old feud. Born without a wolf, and a cursed blood, Renna is on the brink of destruction. But everything soon changes when Kayden, the Alpha of the Silver Pack, infiltrates the Crimson Moon Pack as an omega, and she ends up becoming his fated mate. Can their love bring them redemption? or will it be their downfall?

Newton college, a school in New York City. Popular firstly because of the magnificent build. Then the daily bullying. It's a school that only supports the rich so no commoner is attending but even the rich has levels. The extraordinarily rich (Upper category) Students whose parents own large conglomerates, students whose parents are business tycoons and students whose parents are influential politicians belong to this category. The normally rich (middle category) Students whose parents own a company at least and students whose parents are popular rich medical practitioners belongs to this category. The "just rich" (lower category) Students whose parents neither own a company nor conglomerate but they work under the owners and get paid hugely.... Such students belong in this category. Students wear identity tags which has their names and their categories written on it so it's easy to identify categories. The extraordinarily rich finds it fun to bully the "middle class" and "just rich" The "middle class" takes pleasure in bullying the " just rich" too. The " just rich" are the most helpless students in the school, thus becoming the target for bullying. And now the main reason for the popularity... The Emperors. On the other hand, November Blanco is the second daughter of Adelia and Matteo Blanco. Trouble can be her second name because she's always in one trouble or the other. She's not the clumsy, nerdy or dumb type, she's not brilliant either but she's a psycho who hates rude arrogant punks. She got to know from her mum that she's pretty and if there's anything she's proud of, it's her round @ss and curvy hips She has always dreamt of becoming a student of Newton but she fails the entrance exams yearly. What happens when November becomes a student of Newton college by chance?

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

" No one wants to kiss chubby cheeks or sleep with a girl covered in rugs," Vince smiled as the corners of his mouth went up in a smirk. " Now get off your high horse and stop fantasizing about my perfect chest," he growled. My name is Perez, but the bullies call me Fatrez because I'm fat, not that I like being fat, their is nothing I can change about it, unless the angels decided to work out a miracle. But everything that has a beginning has an end, I could do the bullying, not that I can't. But the head of bullies is sinfully handsome, he leads as they follow. Always throwing the first comment before the rest come along. Even if he is sinfully handsome, I could never dream of me with him, the fact that am fat, call it obesity and dumb in class with extra front teeth. No one wants such a girl. Even if I was a boy I wouldn't date me. Why would he look at me twice without laughing so hard and crumbling down. The best I can do is disappear and never come back or kill myself to stop the bullies from finding other victims, they would probably die of guilt, that's my plan. But Vince is such an arrogant jerk, he could never crack, let alone feel guilty. I've got to stay alive to pay back, make his life miserable, perhaps I'll sleep at night satisfied that he is suffering because of me. But maybe the bully isn't strong like I thought, is his heart made of stone or it's all a mask to fool the world and make him feel better. His heart bleeds after all and I can injure it.

At the bachelor party the night before the wedding, the truth-or-dare penalty was brutal—show the most hidden photo on your phone. Gina, Peter's so-called "girl bro," lost. She just grinned and cast her screen onto the big TV. A marriage license filled the screen, stamped by the county clerk. Names: Peter Cooke and Gina Draper. Date: yesterday. The room went dead silent. I stared at Peter's drained face. Gina didn't flinch. She patted his shoulder. "Oops. Guess you found out. Joey, don't take it seriously. Just a dumb bet. I wanted to see what the county clerk's office looked like, so I dared Peter to register a marriage with me." She leaned in, eyes on me like I was the joke. "You're still getting your wedding tomorrow. The vows, the ceremony. I just borrowed your fiancé for a stamp. Don't tell me you're jealous of his buddy." Peter jumped up and pulled me in. "Babe, listen. You're the only one in my heart. It was just a joke." He pulled out the diamond ring, dropped to one knee. "I'll file for divorce first thing tomorrow. It won't mess up our noon wedding. Invites are already out. Don't make this a scene in front of my friends. Once we're married, all my money's yours, okay?" I smiled. He had no clue how any of this worked. Didn't even know divorce came with a thirty-day wait. I didn't take the ring. I pulled out my phone and blasted a group text canceling the wedding.

"What is this? Are you dying anytime soon? How many days do you have left?” “I believe you know how to read clearly. Go through the results. I’m sure you will be the one leaving anytime soon.” She said confidently. I stared at her once more and proceeded to read the contents of the paper. “You are pregnant,” I said and she smiled. “Yes darling, and guess who my baby’s father is?” I shook my head at her disbelievingly and she nodded her head. “Yes, Eliott is the father of my unborn baby.” “Do you expect to believe such baseless accusations? I am not dumb, Emma. “I know it’s hard for you to believe but, Eliott never broke up with me. Did you think that all the excuses he gave were real? Even Elon Musk doesn’t have a schedule that’s as tight as that. He spent most of his time with me and that is how we made a baby.” She rubbed her abdomen and I chuckled hard. She was lying. She had to be. *** “Mr. Winconstin, your ex-wife is back!” I raised my head from the magazine I was reading. It was no news that Oleander was back in San Francisco. She took over her family's company and was bent on restoring it's lost glory. I should admit it, she never seemed like a business lady to me. “She didn't come alone.” I sat up. Has she moved on already? “She came back with two children and the boy is your carbon copy.” Instantly, blood filled my nose. Was she pregnant then? Why didn't she tell me? Why did she decide to keep my children away from me? “Get the car ready. We are heading to the Thayer's company immediately.”