Stupid Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Cesari Islan Sandoval is a drop dead gorgeous multi billionaire playboy who can get any lady he wants at the snap of his fingers but doesn't do relationships until he meets Elyon Devane a single mom who is in need of a job. He feels drawn to her which is something that has never happened to him before so without thinking he gives her the job as his personal assistant thinking he could seduce her into sleeping with him but she turns out to be a hard nut to crack. He falls in love with her five years old daughter and though he doesn't consider himself a daddy material,he finds himself wishing he is her daughter's father. Funny enough he finds out that he is indeed her daughter's father which causes him to have a rethink much to the chagrin of his lover Antoinette Montalvo.

"You died four days ago. You were buried yesterday. That's fast healing, even for us," Clara explained. "Us?" Clara smiled. "You have risen from the dead and have healed all your wounds. You have no pulse. You do not breathe, and we've been giving you blood so that you can survive. And the last thing you can remember is a tingling in your neck before you died." She clasped her hands together. "I've read your personnel file, Shamira. I know you're not stupid, even if your former bosses thought you were. You can figure this --" "Vampire? You're kidding, right? You have to --" "Wanna go ahead and say 'But there's no such thing as vampires' so we can get that out of the way?" "There's no such thing as vampires!"

Just because of a fight for a man, Nelly wants to kill Celine just to get Ron, Celine's boyfriend. After killing Celine, Nelly happily returned to meet Ron. She accidentally created a meeting for Celine and Saint, the most dangerous man in the world. Saint accidentally saves Celine's life and brings her home. Saint thinks Celine is a poor and stupid woman, so he wants to take Celine's heart as a replacement for his heart-diseased sister. After Celine woke up, she knew the Saint's true purpose and escaped. After she escaped, she discovered Nelly was married to Ron. Celine's anger invaded her brain, she looked at Saint and said. “Saint, I will give my heart to your sister. However, you must agree to one of my requests, you must protect me absolutely, because I want revenge."

"I want to marry you Tanvi!" Rudra declared in his authoritative tone making Tanvi frown in disbelief. "But I don't want to marry you, Mr.Rudra!" She said, equally bold, not knowing the consequences of her stupid outburst. Listening to that, the last ounce of patience he had collapsed, his gaze turned dark, and he enunciated each word in the cruelest way by breaking her tiny heart, "I'm not requesting you. You will be mine, either with your will or not." Ishaan Rudra Chauhan, the CEO of The Chauhan group of Companies is the epitome of domination and undeniable power. Just a glimpse of him is enough for people to shudder in fear. When he faces Tanvi Siara Agarwal, whose aura is full of confidence, while her bright eyes hide a glimmer of boldness and inevitable charm, he's intrigued, and the desire to possess her imprinted in his mind.

She had been in love with him for practically all her life, but he only saw her as his little sister. She could only hope that he would one day look at her the way she wanted him to. She thought those dreams had come true after a passionate night together, only for him to accuse her of the most horrible and tell her he wants nothing to do with her. Heartbroken, she gathered the rest of her pride and left to reclaim her self-worth. Unknowingly, she had left with the CEO's heart as he frantically searched for her, wanting to make things right. **** “Come back to me, princess. And I'll love you the way you deserve.” I let out a laugh. “I'm sorry, big brother. I am no longer that stupid girl who had a crush on you.”

Valentine lived with her abuser—her own father. Hence, she started to become responsible and independent at such a young age. With too many goals set in mind, she ended up seeing love as something stupid and a complete waste of time. Who would have known what her own life has in store for her? Her father got sent to the hospital, suffering a condition which she concluded was the consequence he needed to face after abusing her for so many years. A handsome man—her high school bully—appeared in the scene; Valentine was forced to wed him, bound by a contract in exchange for his financial support to pay the hospital bills for her father's treatments. He loved her; she hated him. Will they be able to stay together until their marriage contract ends? How will they face their own problems now that they're married but with no mutual feelings attached?

“I, Riccardo Saviano, future Alpha of the Grey Shadow Moon Pack, reject you, Artemisia Guerrieri, Daughter of Alpha Franco of the Blood Moon Pack, as my mate and future Luna.” One single sentence. One stupid single sentence was all it took to disintegrate my life. And the day of my birthday, on which this sentence was audaciously uttered to me, I lost the love of my life, my future mate, and my wolf, all at once. As I’m still assembling the pieces of my shattered heart years later, there they come. Like lightning out of a crystal blue sky. My Mates. But wait… If I am mated to triplets, how come I’m about to be mated to 5 gorgeous men? *** TW: explicit and foul language; spicy content; explicit sex scenes *** Book 1 : When They Touch Me - Completed Book 2 : Their Burning Touch on my Skin (Sequel) - Ongoing

I was stupid enough to fall for Drake, my husband. Foolish because I thought I was able to stick to my plan of not loving him.  My marriage life became hell when everyone and my husband were pressuring me to give my husband a child, but could not. It was not easy to conceive. Fed up by my inability to get pregnant, my husband shoved the divorce papers in front of me. What choice did I have? I signed the divorce papers. To my surprise, a day after the divorce, it turned out I was pregnant with my ex-husband's child. Wanting to punish him for what he did, I vowed never to tell him about our child but a year later, my ex-husband saw me carrying our child and wanted to have us both.  

Emilia Burke is a young and advanced college student with an eye for trouble. Ever since her last year in high school, when the only man she ever loved disappeared without a single glance, she has been an expert at evading heartbreak. And hasn't formed a meaningful connection since. Sure, she's young, funny, pretty, and too smart, but she has kept her love interests at a distance and kept everything simple. Fun. No feelings attached. But now, with as much ease as when he disappeared, Leon Maverick has returned to her life as a successful and sexy business tycoon. He's determined to win back the girl whom once had given her all for him, but there's a problem when she can't even stand the idea of him. If only she would give, but there's just something... Something about Leon. And maybe, he'll break through her barriers one last time.

Tara’s mother and sister are both Lunar Wolves, blessed by the Moon Goddess with unique abilities. Tara seems to be an ordinary werewolf, but as she comes of age and welcomes her charismatic wolf, Trinity, her quiet life in Blue Moon is turned upside down. When she finds her mate, she’s catapulted into the spotlight, into a fairy tale with dark undercurrents she never saw coming. The threat of war looms, as her sister Talia prepares to become one of the first female Alphas, a controversial break with tradition that faces formidable resistance. Tara uncovers long buried secrets, a cryptic prophecy that unexpectedly awakens something dormant, and finds herself at the forefront as winds of change sweep through Lycan and Werewolf society. This is a story full of twists, turns, and laugh out loud funny moments. If you’re ready for a fast paced and thought provoking romantic comedy with plenty of drama and action, this novel is a fun must-read.