Novel & Cerita When Nietzsche Wept

he said crying again. "Come here," Nate said. Immediately Axel rushed to him, and Nate picked him up and hugged him close to him. Axel was sobbing. Tears came to my eyes again. I looked at the ceiling and tried not to cry. Because I was so bloody hypersensitive. "Do you want to eat now?" Nate asked softly.

I slid down the wall, clutching my knees as I sat on the floor. Why did I always have to cry every time? Crying never changed anything; it only made you look weaker and more vulnerable. But it was different with Nathan. Crying didn’t feel shameful. It felt therapeutic. It felt like he knew what I was feeling, like he had passed through such, and it only made me fear for him the more. He wasn’t fine. I knew he'd probably been drinking and smoking since he left here. I wanted to help, but how do I, when I don’t even know what I’m dealing with? When I don’t know what has transpired in the past?

His knuckles brushed her collarbone. She caught his wrist before he could pull away. His pulse was there, under her thumb. Faster than she expected. "Talk to me," she said. "About what." "Anything. Something that's not about us. I need—" She exhaled. "I need to not think for a few minutes." He hesitated. His wrist was still in her hand. Then he started talking. Not about them. About Nietzsche. A madman with a lantern. "I seek God," the madman cried. "Where has God gone?"

Finally, Nathan couldn't take it anymore, the words of the doctors twirled in his head and he couldn't tell what was what anymore and all he knew was that his man was in danger and even needed surgery. His body trembled, his eyes blurred, and his heart ached so much that they might bleed, and finally, his eyes became dizzy and Nathan couldn't hold it anymore, his emotions spilt out and the always strong, arrogant and powerful Master Nathan slipped to the ground weakly, then, “Ahhhh!!! I’ll kill them! I’ll make sure I destroy them!!!” He roared, then tears poured out.

My whole body was aching badly, but I wanted to take a cold bath. I opened the tap and stood up under the shower, putting my hand on the glass wall beside me, my head hanging low, staring at my own body. Cynthia loved to ogle my body, and that’s why she always sneaked into the bathroom whenever I took a shower. I smiled with once again tears in my eyes. “You can’t cry anymore, Nathan. Did you forget the doctor’s warning? Your eyes already have enough damage because of crying all these years. You need to stay healthy and fit for Cynthia. How will you see her again?”

Now was the time for me to show and prove to her that I was sorry for how I treated her. We had made a big bonfire in honor to Elder Grayson and surrounded it as Titan and Nixie gave their speech. Titans speech was touching but Nixies was just too much for me. She seemed to have poured out her heart, even going offtrack from what Titan had told her to say. She said her speech as it cane directly from her heart and I felt a sharp pang in my chest as she fell to the ground, crying. I wanted so much to just go and hug her and tell her that everything was alright but Titan held me back as Jacob went to do that.

*** Natalie's POV: A tear dropped and rolled down before I could wipe it as I started typing my resignation letter. There was no reason for me to cry. I always knew in my guts that it will end like this. But I still gambled my life and got played. I could've argued and throw insults. But would it help me to get him? No. So, I choose to walk away with whatever pride I was left with. May be, one day I'll forget him and move on. ***

At that moment, I felt lower than low, like a pile of dung. "Come on, you don't plan to sit in the car and cry all day, do you?" Natasha's voice broke through the haze of my thoughts, her smile offering a glimmer of comfort to my trouble being. I blinked in surprise, realizing for the first time that tears had escaped my eyes unnoticed. I raised a trembling hand to wipe them away, feeling a mix of embarrassment and gratitude for her presence.

Ethan laughed. "Why are you laughing at your misery?" Nathan asked out of shock. Ethan looked up and lean close. "I don't have any tears left. My storage is dry! I only have laughing gas left. And is better than tears, tears made your eyes swell and hurt, it makes you pathetic."

“What’s the matter? Are you scared? HA! I thought you loved blood! I thought you loved making someone miserable! Well, news flash! I volunteer myself to get clawed by your sharp nails! I am willing to get torn apart!” I stopped when I couldn't see clearly. I thought it was the overwhelming rain making everything hazy, but it was my tears. I drew back, nauseated. Are you kidding me, Natasha? Are you crying? For what? You shouldn't be shedding tears! How dare you feel any emotions!