The Reaper's Harem: My Monster Mates
"Stay away from your future roommate. The moment he moves in, keep your distance. Getting close to him will bring you nothing but catastrophic bad luck. He is a walking disaster zone."
I am talking about the Gary Stu protagonist, of course. Anyone who gets close to the "Hero" in this world either ends up as cannon fodder, a stepping stone, or a crying member of a harem.
"However," I add, my business smile instantly returning, "if you ever find yourself in mortal peril, you can always call my number. I offer emergency rescue services. The hazard pay will be steep, obviously. But, if you hire me on a retainer as your long-term bodyguard, I can guarantee your physical safety. I'll even throw in
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