Goodbyes

The house was full of music, and more than half the town. Gemma Havley’s family had gone all out for her going-away party. She was leaving small-town Florence, Oklahoma, for college in Bronson, Colorado. It was already going to be a big change for her, and she hated change. But her English teacher, Mr. Grant, had worked hard to get her into the creative writing program at Morton College.

She made her way through the crowd, stopping to talk to this cousin or that, not even sure who was who anymore in the stream of faces. Her cousin Marie grabbed her in a hug and yelled, “Oh, Gemma! I can’t believe you’re getting out of here. The things you’re going to do, girl!” The giggling coming from Marie was part excitement for Gemma and part beer fuzz.

Her brother Kyle had provided the drinks for the party. He and his best friend, Tony Bennet, owned the only bar in town—KT Spirits. It had been a long, hard road for them. They’d had to do a lot of work to the place, but they made it the spot to be in Florence.

Another cousin—Julie? Carrie?—she wasn’t sure anymore who was grabbing her, said, “Goodness, Florence is sure going to be quiet when you leave. Next time I see you, you’ll be all sophisticated and shit.” She hugged her and kept pushing her way through.

She was on the verge of a panic attack, too much going on. She hated crowds. She made her way down what everyone deemed the “walk of shame” for Gemma. It was the wall where her mom, Dee, had put a mark every year for her and her brother, Kyle. The only thing was, while Gemma stopped at five foot three, her brother had soared to six foot one, taking on more of their father Don’s frame and features.

She opened the door to her bedroom, trying to keep her tears from taking over. She grabbed a blanket from her bed, dug through her nightstand for her vape pen, and headed outside.

A few people were still playing in the pool, and the lights shone, making the moon ripple across the surface. Gemma pulled the old pool lounger from the side of the garage and sat down. She wrapped the blanket around her legs, lay back, and hit her vape, letting that familiar calm wash over her. She could do this.

She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

“Hey, Shortcake.” She looked up into Tony’s smiling face, his dark hair wind-tossed from the ride over. “Did you think I wasn’t going to make it?” He sat down at the end of the lounger.

“I figured you would have closed down the bar and been here to bartend,” she sighed. “I think Mom and Dad invited half of Oklahoma here.” She pointed at a family sitting on the back porch. “Mandy over there—you remember what happened the last time  we were together. She’s such a bitch, and yet here she is, celebrating my going-away party. It’s like everyone is celebrating my leaving, Tony.”

Tony turned and smiled at her. “No one is celebrating you leaving, Gemma.” He took her hand and pulled her to him. “Come here.” She sat in his lap as he buried his face in her hair. “Gemma, no one is going to forget you, and you’ll be back—holidays, birthdays, summers. It’s four years. You’ll be through it in no time.”

“I don’t want to leave,” she said, on the verge of tears again. “I could go to community college.” She wanted to tell him he was the main reason she didn’t want to go. She took another hit from her vape and blew it in his face. Instead of pulling away, he leaned in and inhaled the vapor. “Just tell me to stay and I will.”

Tony kissed her then. He couldn’t stop himself. “Shortcake, you have this huge chance ahead of you.” He set her back in her seat. “Gemma, go to school. If you still want me when you get back, I’ll still be here.”

She sat there shivering, not from cold but from mental exhaustion. Tony noticed the shiver and pulled off his jacket. He slipped out of his sweatshirt—the one he always wore—and slipped it over her head, kissing her again when her head emerged. He placed his forehead against hers and let out a deep breath. “Take the world by its horns, Gemma.” He stood and began walking away.

“Tony?”

“Yeah, Shortcake?”

“Don’t forget me,” she sniffled.

“No chance in hell, Shortcake.” He smiled at her and walked back around the house to his bike. If he stayed any longer, he might just ask her to stay. But she needed this chance, and he knew that. Still, why did it hurt so bad?

Gemma sat there and listened for Tony’s motorcycle to start. When she heard the familiar roar of the motor she pulled the hood over her head and hit her vape. She pulled the strings tighter around her face and let the tears she had been holding back all day hit in full force. She finally fell asleep.

Tony stopped at the stop sign. If he turned right on Elm he could go back to his dark little apartment over KT Spirits. Grab a beer and go to bed like he did every other night. But he couldn’t forget how she looked when she said she could stay and go to community college. Like he was practically begging him to ask her.

He turned left and opened his throttle leaving the visor up on his helmet so the cold air could clear his head. It didn’t. He knew he should slow down but maybe the speed would make him forget. 

The road stretched out in front of him. He drove to the sky started to lighten. He saw the little dispensary on the edge of town. On a whim he pulled in. He got off his bike and went in . “Hey, Mark. Give me everything you have in strawberry.”

Mark raised an eyebrow at him. “Gemma’s leaving tomorrow isn’t she?” he asked as started pulling the vapes from behind the counter. He ended up with about fifteen vapes laying out in front of Tony.  He started opening the vapes and smelling each one. “Tony you're going to have to pay for all those.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He found the one he was looking for and paid for all fifteen. Mark handed over a small brown bag. “Thanks man.”

He walked out with the vapes and got back on his bike. He drove back to the Havley’s house. The house where he had spent so much of his time. He and Kyle had grown up together and Gemma had started out just as his best friend’s little sister. Kyle saw it before he did, had cornered him a year ago and said he saw what was going on between him and Gemma.”He told him “Nah man she’s just your kid sister.”  He denied it then but he couldn’t deny it now.

He parked down the street and walked back; he didn't want to chance waking any of them up. He walked around the house. She was still there in the chair by the pool. He could go over and wake her but he knew if he did it would just upset her again. He wrote out a quick note and wrapped the vape in it. He stuck it under the seat of the uhaul they had filled yesterday and walked back to his bike, starting it up and heading back to the bar.

Kyle had been standing in the doorway staring at his sister when he saw Tony standing beside the garage, helmet in hand. He shook his head and drank some more of his coffee. He knew there was something there. Tony denied it. Gemma did too. Didn’t make him blind.