Just Not Yet

EMERIC 

She was looking around the bar while the server poured us our drink, she ordered the strongest scotch in the house and I had a bourbon.

I didn't stop her from ordering high content alcohol, I would want to feel nothing but numbness at this time if I was in her shoes

I felt like I understood her on a different level.

The disappointment, the feeling of not being enough and taken for granted, you could just feel your self worth depreciating.

I knew it all too well.

I took a sip from my drink. 

“Are you looking for something?”

She was stunned and blinked at me.

“You keep looking around and I wonder what for”

“No… no” She shook her head, “it's just been a long day.”

She was thinking about it, it seemed so.

I inched closer to her and our knees touched, she leaned in to sip her drink from the glass, rounding her lips over the rim of the glass and throwing it all back in one gulp. 

She cleared her throat afterwards.

I corked my head, a light bulb had come on. “Tell me about your day.”

Noelle chuckled and poked my chest. “You tell me about your day, I don't even know your name.” She said and signed the server for a refill.

“Emeric,” I said.

She gaped at me and pouted. “Hmm?”

“My name is Emeric”

I wasn't sure why but she suddenly laughed. “Emeric? As in a wizard, are you from OZ?”

I winced, “like I knew you'd say that.”

She stopped laughing and drew close to me, way close for comfort, I smelt her perfume.

“Seriously?” 

I bit down on my lips and rubbed my stubble. “Your name is Noelle Holly” I shot back, “you shouldn't exactly be making fun of me when the song Santa baby was made for you.”

“Ouuuuuuu… good one.” She laughed and threw her head back. 

The most beautiful sight, the tendrils that escaped the bun on the top of her head gave her an effortless surreal beauty, her large brown eyes heavy with alcohol made her appear like every man's snare.

The way she looked at me under the warm lights of the bar, her subtle touches and giggles made me stir in a way I hadn't felt before.

She gulped down the next shot, almost choking on it.

“Mmmm, So Emeric of OZ…”

I pressed my lips, “that's me!”

“Do you always walk around with a diamond ring in your pocket, or am I your first unreciprocated love that you couldn't wait to jump in and save”

“It seemed that way didn't it?” I twirled the bourbon in the glass.

She nodded with a grim expression. “It still feels unreal.”

“What part?”

Her lips curved up slightly before she shrugged. “Seeing my kindergarten sweetheart proposing to my best friend.”

Unable to contain the disappointment that rushed through me, I dropped my glass harshly against the marble counter.

“You knew that lady?”

She smirked, “down to the name of her favorite chocolate bar.” She sucked on a lime, “it happens to the best of us right?”

It shouldn't, no one should be used and betrayed like that, and especially her, she didn't deserve it.

I reached for her face and cupped her cold cheeks, rubbing my thumb over her smooth powdery skin. 

I may have imagined it but she leaned into my touch.

“You did not deserve that Noelle. No one does.” I reassured her, my eyes lingered longer than it should on her lips.

Were they always parted and moist?

She brought her hand up and touched my face, swiping her thumb over my brows.

“What about you? Why are your eyes so beautifully sad?”

Caught off guard by her question, I stilled for a moment, catching her hand momentarily, I looked in her eyes.

It was my turn to chug down on alcohol.

Pass the question.

“No one just carries around an engagement ring. I was to propose to a woman but she ditched me.”

“Ditched?” She thought for a while, “people mostly say dumped.”

“Nahh, she ditched me.” Another gulp.

Noelle recoiled, her expression softened, so did her gaze, “I'm so sorry Emeric.” She took my hand in hers, “you must love her a lot.”

Love? I almost chuckled. 

I smirked wryly instead.

Love was easily thrown around, easily mistaken, every one called everyone love and then hurt them.

The same way she gave love carelessly and got hurt.

Love wasn't something I looked for, in fact I didn't give it to someone I felt something for.

Love is best when you don't ask for it.

We talked late into the night about everything but still nothing significant was said.

It was either I was the one sailing safe waters or we were both playing it safe.

At the end of the evening, she was so drunk and could barely stand up and I was too dizzy to drive.

Good thing I already called my chauffeur to drive us.

After getting a mumbled permission to look through her bag, I was able to figure out where she lived.

A photograph of her and Clayton fell out her purse but I never put it back in.

Hopefully she'd easily make him an Ex.

I carried her to her apartment since she could not walk and more than once I had given in to my desires to touch her in a raw affectionate way.

When she mumbled an invitation to come in, I almost lost my mind, the arm of her dress had slipped when I laid her down.

It was difficult but I walked away as soon as I slipped my card into her purse together with some hangover medication.

She was easily the most delicate and peaceful creature under heaven when she slept.

My phone pinged on the way home and I squirmed it out of my pocket.

It was 12:36am. 

Anyone who knew me well enough, knew I didn't take any calls or messages after 9pm.

I dragged down the notification bar to see who had texted.

There were two main notifications that caught my attention.

Sophia, my supposed partner apologizing for not showing up for the dinner I was supposed to propose to her.

And the other message was from mom, reminding me of brunch at the family house the next day.

I powered my phone off and let my mind wander but it's newest obsession was a certain woman called Noelle.

The way she kissed me.

I couldn't get if out of my head and it would be a problem if I didn't forget about her quick enough.

The real issue glaring at me was that I didn't really want to forget her yet.

Just not yet.