18. Shift

Silas's Pov

My hands instinctively grabbed at his shirt for balance, fingers clutching the fabric as my face burned with shock and embarrassment.

“W-what-?” The words died in my throat.

He didn’t say anything. He simply adjusted his grip with one strong arm wrapped securely around my thighs to keep me in place, then started walking again as if carrying me like this was the most normal thing in the world. His steps were steady he walked, each movement jostled me slightly against his solid frame, and I could feel the heat of his body through his clothes, the flex of muscle beneath me as he navigated the uneven path.

My heart was racing so fast I thought it might burst. My face was on fire, cheeks flushed bright red as I hung there, upside down, staring at the ground passing beneath us. His scent filled my lungs with every breath, making my head spin in confusing ways.

My hands tightened on his shirt, my body tense and awkward against his. I didn’t know whether to feel humiliated, grateful, or terrified. Part of me wanted to squirm away, to demand he put me down. The other part felt strangely… safe, in the strangest, way possible.

I bit my lip hard, trying to steady my breathing as the forest continued to move past us. His arm remained firm around my thighs, holding me securely.

I didn’t understand him. I didn’t understand any of this.

The path grew steeper, and I grew more confused, but his his pace never faltered. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the confusing whirlwind of emotions wash over me.

I still didn't know where he was taking me. Probably to behead me and use me for sacrifice to gain more power as the Lycan King.

I mean, who knows?

—————

Finally, after long torturous moments, he stopped walking.

He lowered me with surprising gentleness, his strong hands steady on my waist until my feet touched the ground. The moment I was stable, I stepped back quickly, creating as much space between us as I could without looking obvious.

I laced my fingers together tightly in front of me, staring down at the dirt and leaves beneath my feet. I couldn’t meet his gaze. Not after being carried like that.

Thick and heavy silence stretched between us with everything unsaid. I could hear the birds calling overhead, I could feel the wind rustle through the trees, but all I could focus on was the steady rhythm of his breathing in the distance and the faint, insistent pull of the bond trying to draw me closer to him.

Finally, he broke the silence first, “Do you know what we’re here for?” he asked.

I lifted my head slowly, looking around for the first time. We were in a small, secluded clearing near what felt like the summit of a hill or low mountain. The trees thinned out here, offering a breathtaking view of the sprawling forest below and the distant palace roofs peeking through the canopy. It made me realize how far we were.

This place was beautiful, peaceful, even. But I still had no idea why he had brought me here.

I finally glanced back at him, our eyes meeting for a brief second before I looked away again, shaking my head slightly. “No… I don’t know.”

He was quiet for a moment, then spoke plainly. “Since I was less busy today, I decided we should follow some of the procedures Dr Joana recommended.”

At that, Dr Joana's words from that day echoed in my head.

-“However, the best treatment… would be the consistent and immense presence of his mate in his life. Love, care, and gentle attention from you, Your Majesty, would do more for his recovery than any medicine. In no time, he could be back in good shape, perhaps even better.”-

I remembered her words clearly, the bonding, consistent closeness, care from my mate… those things that would help my body recover faster than medicine alone.

Slowly, the realization dawned on me.

Oh.

This wasn’t him wanting to spend time with me or show me something beautiful like I had been subtly deluding myself. He was doing this so I could heal faster, so I could finally be able to give him the heir he wanted. The disappointment hit me like a blow, deep and aching in my chest.

For one foolish moment back on the path, when he had carried me so carefully, I had let myself wonder if he was starting to change. If there was even a small part of him that saw me as more than just a tool.

But no. It was still about the child. About his legacy. About making use of the useless male Omega fate had cursed him with.

A deep sadness washed over me, I kept my gaze fixed on the ground, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t want him to see how much this hurt.

The wind picked up slightly, rustling the leaves around us. Funnily, the clearing felt smaller now, more suffocating. I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly cold despite the warmth of the sun filtering through the trees. All of this wasn’t for me. It was for what my body could eventually give him.

And the worst part was the tiny, traitorous voice in the back of my mind that still whispered maybe, just maybe, there could be more.

I hated how much I wanted to believe it.

Thinking back on what he had said, I wondered how exactly we were supposed to do this. Healing through the connection itself. The words felt impossible, especially standing here in the middle of nowhere with the King who had made it very clear I was nothing more than a means to an end.

I was even more confused about why he had brought me into the forest in the first place. If it came to bonding, I'm pretty sure there was a lot of ways to do that at the palace.

The silence between us stretched uncomfortably, but it was nothing compared to the anxiety twisting in my stomach. I kept stealing small glances at him, the bond between us continued to hum faintly, pulling at me like an invisible string.

Finally, I built up what little courage I had left. “W-what… what do I have to do?” I stuttered.

He turned his head slightly, his cold blue eyes meeting mine, and his answer was simple.

“Easy. Shift.”

The word hit me like ice water, cold shivers raced across my skin, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. Of all the things I had expected, shifting had not even crossed my mind. Fear thrummed through my veins.

Why? Because I couldn’t.

Even though my inner Omega was very much alive and present, curled up warily in the back of my mind, I had never experienced a full shift. I wasn’t wolfless, I knew that much. But ever since I had run away from home at thirteen, my life had been nothing but survival. I was supposed to have my first shift at sixteen, like most wolves. Instead, I had gone into heat for the first time, terrified and alone, with no one to guide me through any of it. After that, the suppressants had taken over. They had kept my wolf suppressed, quiet, locked away so deeply that shifting felt like a distant, impossible dream.

And now my mate was standing here expecting me to do something I had never done. Something I wasn’t even sure I could do even if I tried.

How was I supposed to tell him that? What would his reaction be? The thought alone made my stomach churn with dread. He already saw me as weak, useless omega.

If I admitted I couldn’t even shift… would that be the final straw? Would the disgust in his eyes turn into something even worse?

I didn’t know how to tell the King that the mate he despised couldn’t even do the most basic part of what it meant to be a wolf.

And I was terrified of what would happen when I finally had to.