She Was Done Being Pushed Around

Aria

The glass doors slammed shut behind us.

Xavier dragged me onto the balcony before anyone could stop him, before my father could challenge him, before I could remember how to breathe. The full moon seemed to be mocking me.

My skin buzzed and my bones ached. Vin was whining and whimpering in my chest. I couldn't tell if she was excited or angry, just like me.

“You need to explain,” I whispered. My voice shook. “What did you mean by dragging me here?”

Xavier didn’t answer. He gripped the stone railing until cracks spiderwebbed under his fingers. 6’4 of Alpha barely holding the beast back. His scent rolled off him in waves, a strong lavender scent and it made my empty chest cavity hurt.

When he turned, his eyes were fully gold with underlying darkness in it. They were not just Alpha's eyes. They were predator eyes marked by mate eyes.

His voice came shaky.“I felt the mate bond snap into place five years ago."

His voice was rough, like he’d been fighting it for years. “You were barely 18. Hawthorne Pack intern in my pack with your sister. No wolf. No shift. Just you, spilling coffee on my suit in the elevator and apologizing 20 times.”

The memory hit me. Stupid, clumsy Aria. The CEO of Blackwood Pack had stared at me like I was a ghost. Said “It’s fine” and walked away.

That was it. That was all.

I shoved him off, roughly.“You knew."

The words tasted like ash. Like another betrayal that I never knew about.“The Moon Goddess marked me as yours. And you knew. For five fucking years!”

Xavier closed his eyes, his jaw ticking. “Yes.”

The bond flared between us, invisible but burning. I could feel it more, the silver thread connecting my chest to his. One I had been blind to my whole life.

“You felt it,” I pressed, rage cutting through the hurt. “You felt your mate was a defective, fat and unpresentable. You felt I wasn't worthy of being your Luna, and that's why you let me marry Alec. You let him call me fat for three years. You even chose my sister instead and got engaged to her when the bond resurfaced again.”

Xavier flinched like I’d slashed him. “I chose to ignore it.”

“Why?” The word tore out of me. “Why would an Alpha ignore his mate?”

He slammed his fist on the railing and the stone exploded. Shards rained down. “Because Blackwood Pack was bleeding after my father’s death. Because the council would’ve stripped my title if I claimed a Luna who couldn’t who was least favored by her family. A Luna who is worth nothing."

I laughed. I laughed real hard, my whole body shaking non-stop. The reason wasn't absurd. He was absurd." A mate is supposed to shield one another. Tell me why you decided to be a coward, Xavier Blackwood?"

He snorted at my words." Coward? I was fighting for my position. What could you offer me? I chose Liora she is pureblood. Controllable. Her wolf shifted at 16. I won't be mocked. She is the perfect luna.”

He stopped. Too late.

Defective. Mockery. Imperfect Luna. Same words Alec used. Same words my pack used.

Xavier saw my face crumble. He took a step toward me, Alpha instincts warring with 5 years of denial. “I told myself it was a false bond. That it would fade if I chose Liora. I told myself the Moon made a mistake.”

“And did it fade?” I whispered.

His golden eyes dragged over me. Over the weight Alec hated. Over the body my pack called broken. Over the girl who’d never shifted.

“No,” he growled. “It got worse. Every time Alec marked you, I felt it. Every pound you gained grieving, I felt it. Every night you cried in that bedroom, I felt it. I thought ignoring you would kill the bond.”

He stepped closer. Heat rolled off him. “It didn’t. It made me feral. I’ve been sleeping with wolfsbane under my pillow for 5 years to stop myself from hunting you down.”

Inside, I could hear Liora screaming. “Xavier, don't tell me you are choosing this fat ass over me? She’s not Luna material.”

Xavier didn’t look at her. His gaze stayed locked on me. " I tried to stop it. Even back at the room when you called out. When your wolf drew mine out."

My chest tightened. Vin kept stirring inside of me as the aching pressed against ribs that had never cracked open.

“I should’ve claimed you then,” Xavier said quietly. He reached up, hovered his hand near my face, claws pricking out then retracting. “I should’ve told Alec to back off. I should’ve burned Blackthorn Pack for letting you believe you were broken.”

The bond between us pulsed, hot and desperate.

But his next words shattered my illusion, again." But I can't, Aria. I still can't chose you."

With that, Xavier left me without looking back.

After he left, I heard a familiar step walking towards me. I looked up to see Liora.

Her lips curved up while touching my chin." You think you could win against me? He chose me even when you are his mate."

My legs wobbled, my heart piercing too hard." You are my sister. How could you be happy?"

Liora let out a laughter that shattered even the moon watching." Why shouldn't I be happy? He is Xavier Blackwood, Aria. He is supposed to be your mate, but now he is all mine."

" You–" the words couldn't come out before she waved me off, sashaying out of the balcony.

After she left, I felt her body clinging to my mate while mine burned with rage and jealousy. I let out a growl, so loud that I slumped to the ground, allowing the darkness to claim me.

*

Three moons after the balcony and since Xavier looked me in the eyes, admitted the bond, and chose to bury it anyway.

My wolf hadn’t stirred since. She had gone silent as if she was too ashamed. Like she agreed with him — defective, not worth claiming.

“Stop moping and fix your face,” my mother hissed, shoving a silver dress at me. “You’re attending the announcement. As family.”

Family. Right. The defective daughter they had hidden in photos.

The hall was packed. All fourteen packs under Blackwood rule sent representatives. Betas, Deltas, omegas. Everyone wanted to see Alpha Xavier’s new Luna.

I sat in the back. Black dress. Oversized. Trying to disappear.

Alec was seated there too, in the front row. I could see the smirk on his face. He would have heard the rumors. The rumors about the dining room and about the balcony.

About the bond.

He had texted me this morning and I envision his smugness in the writing.

" Heard your Alpha mate rejected you. Told you no one wants a 320+ pound Luna."

I didn’t answer.

Not because I couldn't say anything, but because it wouldn't change anything. I held my chest together, playing with my fingers until the hall was pushed open and Liora rushed in, her beautiful face filled with tears smeared by mascara.

Her eyes looked sharply at me, accusingly." You fat ass bitch! What did you do to my Xavier?"

The hall went silent before it erupted in chaos, all eyes pointing murderously at me. What the hell did the moon goddess plan for me again?