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KENZ POV
CHAPTER ONE "Fuck Jeremy,” I moaned as his hands slowly slid lower. The kiss was the most erotic thing I'd ever felt. He pulled his top up, and I saw the most perfectly carved body. “Get on your knees,” he commanded with his calm but deep voice. I reached out for his trousers, maintaining deep eye contact like the world was going to end if I looked away. Carefully, I took his zip down, and then… “Kenz! Kenz!” Mrs. Chaperone’s voice snapped me out of it. “What’s so special outside the window that you can’t take your eyes away from?” she asked in her usual grumpy, dry voice. “Oh… I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t realize I was drifting off,” I replied, realizing I had been daydreaming through the entire class. “Well, you might as well drift out of the classroom. It’s been over for about ten minutes,” she said, picking up her handbag to leave. I looked around the classroom. It was empty. Fuck, how long was I out? My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I recalled I had been fantasizing throughout the entire last period. I rubbed my eyes with both hands, adjusted my glasses, and picked up my bag to leave. The school was unusually quiet and peaceful. The once bustling hallways were now quieter than a graveyard. Sunlight spilled through the walls, and for a moment, it almost seemed like somewhere I’d always want to find myself. But hell no. This was Greenville. Nothing about it made me want to live here. Greenville always had this depressive, quiet, suffocating air around it. No matter what happened, it always remained the same. Most people probably didn’t feel the same way I did about the state, but maybe reality hadn’t hit them yet. Or maybe they weren’t queer like me. As I walked through the hallway doors, my phone buzzed three times. Two texts from Toria and one from my mum. How pathetic. I opened Toria’s text. “Hey, still alive?” “Unfortunately, yes,” I replied almost immediately. “Well, meet me at the coffee shop in exactly five minutes. And when I say exactly five minutes, I mean it. Nothing more, nothing less.” She ended the text with a ticking clock emoji. I snorted, then headed toward the shop, which was only a four minute walk from Greenville High School. I could hear distant chatter from the football guys practicing nearby. I recognized a few of them. They were the usual jerks, but I was pretty sure most of them had kissed or made out with some guys before. They just didn’t accept that it was gay. I mean, every single thing they did blinked queer red lights. Showering together? Sizing up each other’s length by directly touching and measuring it? Drinking beer directly from each other’s mouths too? Even Adlai, the most openly queer guy in Greenville, hadn’t done all this shit. I do wish I was Adlai sometimes, except for the part where he wears a mini skirt and pink panties that make his bulky ass very obvious while he walks. I walked into the coffee shop and saw Toria sitting at the corner, looking dead as usual. She looked up and waved at me to come over. “So, he lives,” she said dramatically. “Only a matter of time before I don't.” “Bro, stop saying shit like that. I really don't like it.” “Okay, okay. I’m sorry,” I said, rubbing her tied up messy bun. “So, what’s up? You look stressed,” she said while analyzing my face like she was studying something. “Yeah, I am. It’s been a lot lately.” “Family?” she asked, now looking more concerned than before. “When has it not been family? But it’s more now. Final exam results, NYU acceptance, and, you know, just wondering if I’d ever be able to leave my family,” I said, picking invisible dirt off my nails. “Oh well… just be calm about it. Soon you’d be one of those fuckably attractive New York college students. I’m talking about the Justin Bieber or Kanye West type of attractive,” she said, smiling sheepishly. I laughed softly, almost spilling the coffee I had in my mouth. “Firstly, Justin Bieber is not from New York, and Kanye is Black, but I do get your point.” “Just be chill though. It’s gonna come through for you,” she said, patting my hands softly. My phone buzzed. It was another text from my mum. Shit, I completely forgot to check the previous one. “Where are you, Kenz? Fellowship is by 7 p.m.,” I read from the notification log. “Fuck, I completely forgot about it. I have to go,” I said, standing up hurriedly. “Go where?” Toria asked, stopping me from leaving immediately. “We have this fellowship thing where we invite the church board, and they have dinner with us and blah blah blah. Basically all that churchy shit.” Toria burst out laughing, but I didn’t have time to reply to her. I rushed out and waved goodbye before running home. “Kenz! Where have you been? Didn’t you see my texts?” my mum yelled from the kitchen as I walked into the house. “I completely forgot. I’m sorry,” I said, forcing a remorseful face. “Forgot? Really, Kenz? We talked about this three days ago and even this morning, and you simply forgot? I could smack the hell out of your face right now, but I want you to look good for the visitors,” she said, holding a wooden spoon and looking completely enraged. “Is the deaconess supposed to be cussing? I really don’t think so. You should say Hail Mary before the priest gets here,” I replied rudely as I walked upstairs. “Kenz! Come back here. You don’t speak to your mother like that,” my dad yelled from downstairs. The entire house smelled like food and candle wax. I hated that the candle wax stench was always left on my clothes. I got to my room and collapsed on my bed, pulling out my phone to check for notifications or anything, but I got nothing. How sad. My mum’s voice came through the door. “Kenz! You had better not be on your phone right now, or I’ll take it away from you.” “I’m 19, not 6. Taking a phone away from me is not so much of a big threat.” “Oh really? I don’t know what’s gotten into you, and I really do not care. You had better wrap it up and don’t disappoint me tonight,” she said angrily. Then I heard footsteps stomping downstairs until the sound disappeared. Those words rested on me like a weight, but it didn’t matter. They all talked to me like this, and I was used to it. I walked into the bathroom and showered for about 20 minutes. The whole house was now noisy, and I could hear lots of footsteps downstairs. I decided to sit around for a while before going out, then a notification from I*******m popped up on my phone. “JEREMY_ISCOOL SENT YOU A MESSAGE REQUEST” What the actual fuck? I opened the text. “Hey bunny, been a while.”CHAPTER FORTY EIGHTTORIA’S POVThe first thing I heard when I woke up the next morning was voices arguing downstairs.It wasn’t even fully light out yet, but someone was already going at it.I stayed in bed for a minute, just listening because it sounded way too familiar.“I don’t need any help with this,” Dan said, sounding frustrated.“You can barely stand up straight right now,” Mrs. Alexis shot back.“I can stand just fine.”There was a long pause, like they were both waiting for the other to give in.Then I heard a quiet,“Ow.”I couldn’t help smiling to myself before I even pushed my bedroom door open.This was going to be one of those days.I muttered under my breath.“I already know exactly how today’s going to play out.”I headed downstairs, and sure enough, there they were in the living room.Dan had one hand gripping the back of the couch like his life depended on it.His good foot was planted firmly on the floor, while the other was trapped inside that big, clunky black m
CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN KENZ’S POVThe game continued.I couldn’t tell you who won.I couldn’t even tell you what the score was anymore.Every few minutes, my eyes drifted toward the tunnel the trainers had disappeared through.Dan never came back.The crowd slowly found its energy again.People cheered.The band played.The referee blew his whistle over and over.But it didn’t stop me from getting lost in my thoughts. .“Kenz?”Fiona nudged my shoulder.“Hm?”“The game’s over.”I blinked.“Oh.”She studied my face for a second.“You wanna go?”I nodded almost immediately.“Yeah.”Neither of us spoke much as we made our way through the crowd.Students poured toward the exits, arguing about the refs cheating and bad fouls.Usually Dan would’ve texted by now.I whooped their asses.Or…Coach almost killed Jason today.Something stupid.Something that would’ve made me laugh.My phone stayed silent.“It’s probably nothing serious,” Fiona said softly.I looked at her.“I know.”But the wo
CHAPTER FORTY SIXDAN’S POVGame days always felt the same.The locker room buzzed with nervous energy.Some of the guys blasted music through a speaker.Others taped their wrists in complete silence.Someone kept throwing a basketball against the wall even though Coach had already yelled at him twice to stop.I sat on the bench tying my sneakers.One knot.Then another.My daily routine.Everything before a game was a routine.It helped keep my head clear.Or…At least it used to.“Ladies.”Every head turned.Coach walked into the locker room with his clipboard tucked beneath one arm.“If any of you plan on embarrassing me tonight, tell me now so I can fake a heart attack before tip off.”A few guys laughed.“I’ll save you the trouble, Coach,” Jason said.“I’m definitely embarrassing you.”Coach pointed at him.“I believe that.”The room filled with laughter.Even I smiled.“Listen up.”The laughter slowly died down.“This isn’t just another game.”Coach looked around the room.“Scou
CHAPTER FORTY FIVETORIA’S POVI had been standing there staring at the same canvas for what felt like forever.My instructor walked over and said something that snapped me out of it.“You’ve been staring at the same canvas for ten minutes.”I blinked a couple of times and looked up from the paint smeared across the canvas. Honestly, I hadn’t even noticed how long I’d been holding the brush without doing anything useful.“What?”She smiled and crossed her arms.“You heard me. Where did you disappear to in that head of yours?”I glanced back at my painting.It looked almost exactly the same as it had twenty minutes ago.I’d barely touched it.“I was thinking about stuff.”“I can tell.”She tapped the side of my easel.“Unfortunately, thinking doesn’t count as actual painting.”A few people around us laughed.Heat crept up my cheeks, and I laughed too, trying to play it off.“I am working on it, I swear.”“You’ve got another forty-five minutes before we wrap up for the day,” she said, h
CHAPTER FORTY FOURETHAN'S POVCollege parties were not really my kind of thing. They got too loud with all the music blasting and too crowded with people packed into every room. Plus there were always too many people acting like they were not already drunk after a couple cups of that cheap stuff they served. Unfortunately one of my coursemates did not agree with me on any of that."You better not disappear after class today," Marcus called out as we walked out of the lecture hall. "We are celebrating surviving that mechanics test.""I do not remember agreeing to anything," I said back."You do not have to agree. We already decided you are coming." He threw an arm around my shoulder and grinned.I sighed. "I hate all of you.""We know," he answered like it was no big deal.By the time I got back to the dorm I had almost talked myself out of going. Almost. Kenz was sitting at his desk with his headphones on scribbling stuff into a notebook. He did not even look up when I walked in. I d
CHAPTER FORTY THREEKENZ’S POVI hadn’t planned on coming over.At least…That’s what I kept telling myself.Truth was, I’d been thinking about home all day.About the living room.About Mrs. Alexis asking if I’d eaten before I even took my shoes off.About Dan yelling at me for stealing another one of his hoodies.Funny.I still called it home even though I barely stayed there anymore.My classes ended earlier than usual, and before I knew it, I was already on a bus heading there with a bag of takeout resting on my thighs.Maybe things didn’t have to stay awkward forever.Maybe Dan and I could slowly find our way back to each other.Maybe.Maybe I was getting my hopes up.The familiar house came into view.Nothing had changed.The flowers by the porch were still there.Dan’s car still sat near the garage.Everything looked exactly the same.So why did it suddenly feel like I was visiting instead of coming home?I grabbed the bag of food and rang the doorbell.A few seconds later, the
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN FIONA’S POV The funniest part about almost dying is that no one tells you when it’s coming. It’s not stamped. It’s just sudden. People always talk about the fear, the pain, the last voices you hear of the people you love. But nobody talks about how pathetic it is to be drown
CHAPTER THIRTEEN KENZ POV The mansion looked like it had been ransacked. Plastic bottles littered around the floor and red cups were covered on every available surface. The smell of alcohol made me want to puke. I stepped over a pile of empty boxes drenched with alcohol. “
Kenz's POV Chapter THREE “Shit,” I muttered under my breath. Jeremy pulled away from me so fast it almost made me laugh, but it would be stupid to do that with my situation right now. “Kenz?” my sister called again from outside my door. My stomach dropped. I was as good as dead. Ellie was
Kenz’s POV Chapter TWO I stared at the text for so long, not knowing what to do. Why the hell was Jeremy texting me? He had ignored me completely after spending the entire summer together, yet those few words he sent shifted something in me, and I really hated it. I finally decided to reply,







