Boyfriend Outsourced Our Relationship to AI
He almost never texts me first, and in person he barely says a word.
In three years together, he's never remembered a single anniversary, and he's never once suggested we celebrate a holiday.
But the second I message him first, he lights up, all "baby" this and "baby" that, fussing over me, coaxing me to sleep.
Sometimes I'd get this strange feeling that there were two different Noahs.
His explanation was that he was just bad with words face-to-face, and that texting or voice notes felt like less pressure.
I kept telling myself that being together meant meeting each other halfway. He was quiet and reserved, so I'd be the one to reach out.
He forgot anniversaries, so I booked the restaurant and reminded him to keep the night free.
He had no time to schedule our engagement shoot, so I handled the whole thing with the studio myself.
He was too busy with work to help us move, so I packed everything alone, booked the movers, and got it all done.
When I was so worn out I was about to break, I'd send him a voice note, and he'd say, "I'm so sorry, baby. The lab was insane today. I couldn't be there for you, and it kills me to watch you run yourself into the ground."
Hearing how guilty he sounded, all my hurt just melted away.
And that's how I carried three years of this relationship on my own, running on the flawless tenderness he only ever gave me online.
Until today, when I found a program on his laptop called Boyfriend Assistant.
It analyzed every message I sent and generated the perfect reply, the perfect response, every single time.
Cold snap? It sent: Bundle up, baby.
Time of the month? It pinged an API and auto-ordered hot chocolate to my door.
All those late nights he spent "working," the gentle voice notes that lulled me to sleep, every one of them was synthesized in Noah's voice.
For three years, the person who'd been there for me, day and night, was never Noah at all.
For three years, I'd been performing a one-woman show.