Crazy Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

The last thing Miranda thought when she responded to a prison pen pal request was to find true love. Joel, well, he was only hoping to pass time and maybe if he was lucky, he'd find someone to have a little fun with after doing ten years of hard time in the state penitentiary for a crime he committed when he had just barely turned eighteen years old. He had been hardened by the things he'd seen and the experiences of imprisonment and no longer believed in lovey dovey fairy tales or happily ever after. So hardened in fact, that he knew women only led to one thing-trouble. Not even a good girl like Miranda would break him ever again. Not with her long dark hair, those hypnotizing amber-eyes, and definitely not those full lips that would look so good…nope, nope, nope. What neither one expected was to find the perfect balance of emotional and physical attraction. Can Miranda's persistence and commitment soften and heal Joel's untrusting heart or will Joel break Miranda in ways she has never experienced before? This is the first book of three in the Locked-Up Lovers series. Enjoy!

On the day of our daughter's full-month celebration, Harvey McKinzie walked onto the stage holding the hand of his widowed, heavily pregnant sister-in-law. "Honey, to be honest with you—my sister-in-law's baby is mine." His parents followed behind, looking completely unapologetic. "We're the ones who made it happen. We drugged them. Our oldest son may be gone, but the family can't be without an heir. "Harvey is taking on the responsibility of carrying on both family lines—it hasn't been easy for him. From now on, you need to take good care of Lydia and the child she's carrying." The sister-in-law, now eight months pregnant, glanced at me shyly. "Jennifer, we're sister-wives now." I stood there frozen, holding my daughter, my voice trembling. "Why are you doing this to me?" Harvey frowned and let out a long sigh. "You're always saying how hard Lydia has it, right? Isn't it better if I just take care of her openly and properly? "I promise—you'll be the first wife, and she'll be the second. On paper, you're still my only legal wife." In that moment, my blood ran cold. Then, for the first time in a long while, I heard the system's alert in my head. [Host emotional fluctuation detected. Would you like to use all remaining points to exit the current world?]

I've spent the past seven years by Caleb Hale's side, but I don't have a proper identity. He doesn't seem interested in marrying me, either. Later, he has plans to marry the daughter of the White family in a political marriage. They only have one condition—he must throw away the sandalwood bead bracelet he always wears. Caleb doesn't even bat an eye as he says, "It's just a little trinket, and I've grown sick of it." After that, he throws the bracelet into the annex from his balcony. Coincidentally, the annex later catches fire. Everyone is stunned to see me dash inside to retrieve the bracelet without a care for my safety. Subsequently, someone in the online community reveals that I kneeled in the snow outside Highspire Hall to get that bracelet.

Angie woke up in the morning, finding herself in a strange place, with a man beside her, and without a single piece of clothing. It was bad luck for her when Mike, the man she had supposedly spent the night with—the only son of the head of the black organization "The Black Venom"—approached again and handed her a contract that would turn her life upside down. "Sign it and marry me, or die." Then, like riding a roller coaster, Angie tried to survive the fake marriage. It was only two years, but a big secret was uncovered, making the remaining time a living hell—not only for Angie but also for Mike.

When I was three months pregnant, my Don husband’s so-called step sister, Ruby, showed up at my door. Her swollen belly was impossible to miss, “Donna, since my due date is so close, I thought you should know… the Don’s heir is in my belly.” She laid everything in front of me—intimate photos of her and Caleb, records of the weekly money transfers he sent her, even the deed to a mansion. The earliest dates traced back to the time I lost our first baby, when the doctors told me it would be difficult for me to conceive again. All these years, I had been enduring IVF treatments, desperately trying to carry our child once more—while he was fooling around with his so-called step sister. Well, if Caleb wanted another woman so badly, he could have her. I had no intention of staying anyway. I was already planning my leave.

My father-in-law, George Lane, suffered from a brain aneurysm and fell onto the ground. The floor was covered in his blood. I calmly picked up a mop and wiped the floor clean. As his daughter-in-law, I gave up on saving him within the most critical time. In my last life, I was the first person who found out that George was injured. I immediately got an ambulance and sent him to the hospital. Before the surgery, the hospital required his immediate family member to sign off the consent form. However, when I asked my husband, Brian Lane to come to the hospital to sign that document, he thought that I was acting out of jealousy because he was spending time with his first-love. He thought I was making an excuse to get him home, so he refused to go to the hospital. In the end, George passed away as he did not receive the treatment on time. Brian did not manage to see George for the last time, and he blamed it all on me. He then hacked me to death. “It’s your fault! My dad was so old, and you didn’t take good care of him as a daughter-in-law! Since you’re not doing your part when he’s alive, then you should continue your duties as a daughter-in-law in hell!” When I opened my eyes, I found myself on the day when George died again.

When I open my eyes again, I notice that I'm lying on the bed of my archnemesis, Ashton Ford. Ashton calmly puts on his clothes before tossing a card at me, telling me to get out. He then looks at the caretaker stationed by the door and asks helplessly, "Is Sunny still throwing a tantrum? Tell her that we're going to be engaged soon. She can't leave women in my bed just because she's angry." I'm about to say something when a stream of comments appears before my eyes. "Here comes another one hoping to sleep her way into a prestigious position. Mr. Ford only loves Sunny. If she didn't comfort him, he might have taken his own life after what happened to Elizabeth a long time ago." "Can the author stop trying to force these flings onto him? It wasn't easy for Sunny to achieve success after taking over as the female lead. I want to see them live a sweet married life." "Unless Mr. Ford's dead first love, Elizabeth Miller, comes back to life, no one can possibly touch Sunny's position in Mr. Ford's heart." Confusion is written all over my face. I'm Elizabeth Miller. Since when did I become Ashton's first love?

“A callboy, huh? You begged so fucking sweetly when I had you spread out, coming apart on my cock like you’d never been touched before.” -- Scarlett Reed was done being the perfect, cheated-on wife. When her husband demanded an open marriage, she hired a callboy for one wild, no-holds-barred night of payback. He owned her body—hard, deep, filthy—until she left cash and vanished at dawn. Now she's pregnant. And the "callboy" is back: Ryder Voss, ruthless billionaire, smirking in the shadows. He pins her close, hand on her belly, voice dark and dripping heat: "You paid me to fuck you senseless, Scarlett. Now you're carrying my baby... and I want more. Every inch. Every moan. Forever." One night of revenge. One lifetime of obsession. Will she run... or surrender?

The night I find out I'm pregnant, my family's villa suddenly goes up in flames. I endure the suffocating smoke and run the risk of being disfigured as I run to my son's bedroom. However, it's empty. Just then, I hear his excited exclamations outside the window. "Monica, you look so cool when putting out fires! I bet you'll get first place in this upcoming Firefighter Challenge!" I'm about to head downstairs to lecture him when a wall collapses and crushes me. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I hear my stern, stoic husband praise Monica Sloan for her courage. If I'm guessing correctly, my husband and son have started this fire to please her. I stare at the door, which is so close and yet so far. I send out one final text before dying of asphyxiation.

On Christmas Eve, my uncle, Garrett Wayne, takes a sip from the fancy whiskey I bought. Then, he points at me while grinning. "Well well well… I've been watching you since you were a kid, Flint. You were a bed-wetter when you were a little boy, and now that you're all grown up, you stay cooped in your parents' shop while running that social media account of yours. You don't have any skills at all. "My Ronnie, on the other hand, has an amazing job that will continue paying him and keeping him around no matter how hard times get. Small businesses like your family's will definitely crumble as soon as the tiniest change happens in the global economy!" All of my relatives roar in laughter at Garrett's quip. My cousin, Ronnie Wayne, pretends to be playing on his phone, though his grin has already become ear-splitting. Mom and Dad can only laugh along as well even though deep down they are very uneasy and anxious. I just gaze at Garrett coldly. In six hours, the blizzard apocalypse will descend onto this world. At the same time, a zombie outbreak will occur across the globe. In my previous life, Garrett, who had looked down on my family and me, didn't hesitate to push us into the upcoming zombie horde just to take over my parents' grocery store. In this lifetime, I swear that I will never let him off the hook! I'm about to pick up a plate of food and smash it onto Garrett's head when I hear a mechanical voice chiming in my head. "Ding! You have been bound with the Rage System! You may talk back and retort to others to your liking in exchange for supplies. The more arrogant you sound, the better supplies you'll receive!" As I look at Garrett's insufferable face, I let out a chuckle. "Oh yeah, I'm not skilled at all. But I suddenly remember this funny little thing. Uncle Garrett, you claimed that you had gone on a business trip to Brimstone eight years ago. But the truth is, you got arrested by the vice squad, right? "Does Aunt Cassia know about this?"