Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

My father-in-law, Luther Smith, got into a car accident and was sent to the emergency room. I called my wife, Meg Smith, who was a lawyer, more than twenty times before she picked up. “What are you doing now? Hugh ran into trouble, and I’m helping him. Please don’t be a nuisance.” I suppressed my feelings and said, "Dad got into a car accident, and he needs a hundred thousand dollars for surgery." However, she believed Hugh’s words instead. She said viciously, “It’s your father who got into the accident. What does it have to do with me? Don’t covet my money for your family. Stop harassing me. I’m busy.” She then quickly ended the call. They did not manage to save Luther, and he died. Three days later, in court, I saw Meg defending Hugh as his defense lawyer for his drunk driving case. She was extremely good at her job, so she managed to win the court case for Hugh due to insufficient evidence. Hugh was acquitted. I was extremely disappointed. After the court session, I asked for a divorce. She started to panic. “My dad is so kind to you. He’ll be very upset if you divorce me!” I sneered and threw the hospital receipt and death certificate at her face. What an idiot. She did not know that she no longer had a father.

I wonder if I will ever be delivered from the hell that I have to live everyday. My dad has been a drunk ever since my mother walked out on us. I was only five when I realized that my dad was not like other dads. I had to clean up his messes. There were time I could not even go to school because I did not have any clothes to wear that fit. I knew that if social services got involved my dad would be angry and take it out on me. Things got worse when my dad became involved with the mafia. It was a way to work off his gambling debts. I was worried that one night he would not come home because he had gotten into deep with the mafia. That fear became a reality when my dad walked in with Joseph Rossi, the largest mafia boss in the state. “Selena, pack your things, you are going to be living with Mr. Rossi from now on.” I did not understand what was going on. “Why dad? I do not understand why I am going to live with him.” Mr. Rossi cleared his throat “You are going to live with me now because I own you. Your dad traded you to me to pay off his gambling debts.” I tried not to cry but I could not stop the tears - my dad sold me; I am now officially in hell.

GAMMAS OF LUST SERIES 1 💔 After her boyfriend cheated, Balqis rejected him first only to bump into the drunk Gamma Adonai, Julius's best friend on her way out. He warned her against touching him, but she was adamant and helped him into a room, only to get smooched at the end. When she realized what she has done, Balqis fled and one month later without any connection with the two men, she got pregnant! On that same day, a news that shocked the entire internet was announced saying, "Gamma Adonai was involved in a plane crash and died on the spot!" With nowhere to run to, Balqis was left with no other options than to become her stepmother's lackey and dance as a stripper until a masked stranger appeared, and asked to sleep with her. "Are you mad?" she questioned. "I should sleep with you while pregnant?" She never planned to agree but she had to when he offered a lot of money she couldn't refuse. By 'Sleeping with me' Her thought was that he would have sex with her but no! The eerie masked man only pulled her to himself and whispered, "I miss you, my forbidden fruit" and the next thing she felt was his fangs on her neck. She fainted and wake up to learn that a Gamma revenant had bite and marked her but why.....? "Wait.... Gamma revenant?" She was stunned and shocked! Revenant means just one thing..... A shape shifter that resurrected from death! "Did he.... Did he....."

"Sophie Patterson. Don't you dare walk away from me." Logan's menacing stare bore at me. I suddenly didn't feel drunk anymore. I sobered up quickly. "What, Logan? You're gonna tell me that you suddenly love me again? That you're here to sweep me off my feet? Please! I didn't need you all this time, and I don't need you now." He clenched his jaw, fisting his hands. "Enough. Stop being so damn stubborn. You know I do. I love you. I never stopped loving you, Sophie. It was always you." I left my hometown hoping to never see him again. I left with his baby still inside of me. Seven years after, and here I am again. Standing before him and a six-year-old wanting to know who his dad is, and asking me to marry him because everyone in his class but him and his best friend don't have a daddy.What am I supposed to do with all these feelings that are resurfacing? I'm realizing every day that I never got over him. I merely suppressed my feelings, and him telling me this now- in my face, just made things more complicated.

SYNOPSIS She came to drop some files at my penthouse, I was drunk to stupor, I wasn't thinking straight and we had a one night stand. He's Collins Walter, a cold-hearted Billionaire, popular around the world. A business freak, who doesn't seem to care about love and marriage, talks less of babies. She's Piper Walker, a kind-hearted young lady, in search of a job, but got one at Walter Empire. She's an accountant working for the whole Walter Empire, But what happened when she had a one night stand with her boss in an unimaginable situation, that led to pregnancy. Extracted From The Novel I tried my possible best to get him of me, but it seems impossible, he threw me on his bed angrily and climb over. "Please Sir"I cried out. He ignore my pleads and torn my new shirt in a hungry way which send some cold shiver down my spine. "My virginity, My virginity"I kept murmuring below my breath not until I saw what I fear the most, his 8cm d!ck bounce out of his shorts. "Mom, save me"I cried, as tears streamed down my cheeks How did you think this happen ? Will he accepted the pregnancy ? Could there still be more to his cold attitude ? DON'T MISS THIS OUT !!

Amelia Montgomery is one of Rosewood High's cheerleaders along with her best friend Stella Hayes. Her and Stella have been friends ever since kindergarten when Amelia fell off the monkey bars and Stella helped her up afterwards. Stella has a brother named Easton Hayes and he has always teased Amelia since she was seven. They both agreed that they thought he was a heartless prick who treats girls like rubbish. One Friday night Amelia decided to go to a party. At the party Amelia ends up slipping and falling into her worst enemies lap, but what makes the situation worse is the fact that some drunk dude accidentally stumbles into her causing her to slide forward and lock lips with none other than Easton Hayes. Oh how Amelia's life couldn't be anymore ruined. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I lean in so that our noses are touching which causes us to close our eyes as our breaths become more harsher. "I can't stand being friends with you. Everytime I see you all I want to do is push you against a wall and kiss you" he whispers out which makes me smile a little "So, what are you going to do about it?" I ask him teasingly with a breathless voice "This" he says before he connects our lips which makes me reach up and place my hands on his cheeks.

With Alpha Cain…there's just something with him that makes my blood boil to the hottest degree, my mind roaring with spite and disdain every time I look at him in the eyes. I often ask myself, "Am I really sure to be the Alpha's Pet or am I just looking at the fastest way to die?" Maybe I'll never know the answer. Maybe I also knew the answer already. But deep inside, one thing's for sure: I hate Alpha Cain. But I also like some part of him. And I hate that part of myself that liked the part of him. *** Anastasia is an I-don't-fucking-care type of Omega who, because she's already bruised outside and broken deep inside, just accepts whatever comes her way. But Alpha Cain somehow liked her wicked mouth. She's the only Omega who can talk back to him with enough sarcasm and wits that most of his pack members lack of. And in the tradition of most packs, whether in every year, months, or even weeks and days, the Alpha will choose among Omegas as his Pet: a more accurate term for his personal bed warmer. It is an actual title in a pack reserved to only one person, with benefits and privileges on its own. And because Anastasia accidentally became drunk the night Alpha Cain tested her skills in bed, she rode so wild and satisfied the Alpha more than he expected. And a hate-to-love, pet-to-lovers tale began to unfold.

One night stand with her boss brought Anabelle to her downfall. Secretly crushing on her boss for years, Anabelle took advantage of his drunk state and had sex with him with the hope that he would finally notice her. Her hopes were shattered when in the morning of it all, he threw her out and offered to pay for her services like a random whore he had just picked from the street. Unfortunately, her actions got her pregnant and to add to her sorrow, she was kicked out by her parents. Anabelle thought she would struggle and Carter for her baby alone. Five years later, her son's life hung in the balance and there was only one person who could save him and that was the man who had hurt her so deeply years ago and also the father of her son, Hazel De Valle, president and CEO of De Valle's corporation. Will Anabelle put her hurt aside and seek the help of her baby's father? What will Hazel do when he suddenly finds out that he has a son with a woman that he doesn't even remember? Hazel had vowed never to fall in love or ever get married, will that vow be broken or will he just take his son away and use his power to silence Anabelle? Read more to find out.

“Please stop, you're drunk,” I whispered, my voice trembling as I tried to push him off. His body was heavy against mine, his movements sluggish but persistent. He barely heard me. “How old are you?” he murmured, his voice thick with alcohol. “18,” I gasped, heart racing in a mix of fear and confusion. “Then you're already an adult” he said with a low chuckle, as though that settled everything. I should’ve stopped it. I should’ve left. But I didn't have the strength to argue, didn't have the will to stop him. He moved against me again, and that's when I felt something cold touch the most intimate part of me…. I woke up alone in a dimly lit room. He was still there, his back turned to me, but his face-his identity-was still hidden behind the mask. I glanced down at his left shoulder. A Phoenix tattoo. Bold. Intriguing. But then, I didn't hesitate. I grabbed my things and ran, my heart racing as I left the room without another word. It was supposed to be just a night. One meant to be forgotten. And that's exactly what I intended to do. I didn't know his name. I didn't even know his face. It was a night meant to stay buried in the past. It was a night I promised myself I’d forget. But that promise broke when pregnancy came knocking.

I gave my full support when my father decided to set aside $2.1 billion in trust funds for his three illegitimate kids. Things had been very different in my previous life. At the time, the company urgently needed capital for a new project, and I had convinced my father to postpone setting up the trusts. I never imagined the three of them would take it as an attempt to seize the family fortune for myself. Furious, they went street racing to vent their anger. The result was a fatal crash. The car was destroyed, and none of them survived. Under my leadership, the company continued to grow at an astonishing pace and eventually secured a place on the Fortune Global 500 list. Yet on the very day I received the title of Young Entrepreneur of the Year, my father got me drunk and ordered my limbs broken. As I lay there screaming in agony, I demanded to know why he was doing this to me. His reply was filled with venom as he crushed my fingers one after another. "If you hadn't been so greedy for the inheritance, Ethan and the others wouldn't have gone out to clear their heads. They never would have died in that crash." In the end, my father beat me to death. When my critically ill mother learned the truth, the shock took her life as well. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the very day my father decided to establish the trust.