Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

After getting drunk, my husband’s childhood sweetheart drove and ran over my seventy-year-old mother, crushing her into a mangled corpse. She died on the spot. However, my CEO husband, Jason, insisted on signing a settlement on her behalf. “My mother-in-law was committing insurance fraud. She deliberately lay under the tires. She should bear full responsibility.” Not only did he get his childhood sweetheart, Olivia, cleared of all charges, but he also transferred the 10,000,000-dollar insurance payout from my mother to her as emotional damages. “Olivia and I grew up together. I cannot just watch her go to prison and ruin her life. Be reasonable and stop making a fuss.” After leaving the police station, Olivia made a post on social media. [Jason standing up for me was so amazing. Childhood sweethearts really are forever family!] Jason liked her post right in front of me. I remained terrifyingly calm. “Jason, let us get a divorce.” He scoffed. “You’re just saying that to make me comfort you, right? Megan, you are 30 years old. Can you stop being childish?” I had brought up divorce countless times, and he never believed I would truly leave. What he did not know was that among the case documents he had just signed, there was a divorce agreement. He had already signed it himself.

This was meant to be a secret. I was dressed in a red mini-gown, the sexiest gown in my wardrobe. Tonight is gonna be hot! I was feeling the sensations already, I'd never had sex with my mate for the five years we've been together which was one reason tonight was gonna be special. Close to his house, I masked my scent. I didn't want him getting a clue of what's happening. The hormones in my body were going crazy and my wolf was so excited. I tiptoed to the backyard of his apartment which I knew for sure was always open, talking of the door. His bedroom was right here and I was gonna throw myself on him on the bed. I banged in. The unexpected happened. My jaw dropped at the sudden sight before me. Right in front of me, on the same bed I'd planned to have Leo make love with me, was him with another girl. Seeing me, they sprang up, staring at me like they saw a ghost. Out of anger, I walked out, planning to get revenge. I got drunk in a night club and ended up in a one-night stand to cool off my anger. Next morning, I went for my first class in college hoping to put the past behind me. Just when I thought I had, I found out that the hot stranger last night is my college professor and my foster brother. Boom! I'm pregnant for him…….

Elena (21) gets pregnant after accidentally entering the private room of the most powerful and cold-hearted man in the city—Alexander Kingston (28). Drunk and blinded by memories of the woman he once loved, Alexander mistakes Elena for his lost love and spends the night with her. Because of the pregnancy, Alexander is forced to marry Elena—even though he does not want her. Convinced that Elena deliberately trapped him by sneaking into his room, Alexander believes she is nothing more than a gold-digger who used a one-night mistake to secure wealth and status. To him, the marriage is temporary. Once she gives birth to his child, she must leave. “I hate you. A woman like you doesn’t deserve to be my wife. Sign the divorce papers. After you give birth to my child, you will leave this house.” — Alexander Kingston (28) Pregnant and humiliated, Elena realizes she was never a wife in his eyes—only a tool chosen to bear an heir. But what happens when the truth comes out—and Elena was never guilty, never scheming, never trying to trap him? In a cold and unwanted marriage, Elena’s quiet strength and beauty slowly make it impossible for Alexander to ignore his growing feelings. Yet by the time he realizes his mistake… Elena has already given up and walked away. Will Alexander Kingston finally learn the true cost of regret?

I never thought one broken promise could shatter my world twice. His name was Marcus. He swore he’d stay in touch when he left for that “year-long business trip.” Three months later, silence. No calls, no texts, nothing. On my birthday, drunk and done with heartbreak, I went home with a stranger. One reckless night. I slipped out before dawn, leaving a fake name. No more men. No more drama. Then the perfect job fell into my lap: personal assistant to Victoria Langford, a young, filthy-rich heiress. Live-in position, great pay, exactly what my sick little sister and I needed. I moved in, ready for a fresh start. Until I walked into her mansion and saw him. Marcus. In her arms. My fiancé was her boyfriend. Rage burned through me, but I swallowed it. I needed this job. He begged forgiveness, fed me lies about a big contract, how he never stopped loving me. Weak, stupid, lonely. I fell back into him. Secret touches, stolen nights, right under her nose. Then everything exploded. I came home to blood and sirens. Marcus swore he didn’t know what happened. But when the police started digging, he pointed the finger at me. How do I escape this? Who's the father of the child growing inside of me?

My wife, Jolene Stephens, and I both cheated. The difference was that she chose to betray me while I had been made to cheat. She got me blackout drunk the same night her affair with Leon Homes came to light. Then, she stripped me naked and left me in a hotel room with a stranger. She posed my unconscious body in degrading positions and took photos to create evidence of my "affair." Both our cheating photos were exposed consecutively, and the public outrage against her little lover was offset. A huge wave of nausea rolled over me, making me dry-heave over the sink. My body was covered in red marks. The thought of what the stranger had done to me drove me to fits of terror. My wife watched as I scrubbed my skin until it split and bled before saying quietly, "I didn't have a choice. Leon's from a conservative family. It would destroy him if word got out that he was a homewrecker." The internet tore me apart overnight. My grandfather, Bruce Tillman, the only kin I had left, suffered a heart attack after seeing the news and was rushed into the emergency room. I had to protect her just to protect myself. So, I repeated the lie she needed me to tell under a wall of flashing cameras and microphones. "Neither of us cheated. Ms. Stephens and I had already separated long ago."

I saved Ethan's life when we were children but he always believed it was my younger sister who rescued him. From that day on he loved her. Then everything changed. After an accident left my sister unable to walk everyone blamed me for what happened even Ethan. Before long, my sister disappeared without a trace leaving me alone to carry the guilt and hatred. Because my sister and I look almost identical... Ethan drunk and broken mistook me for her one night. By the time he realized the truth it was too late as he forced me into a marriage swearing he would make me suffer for ruining the woman he loved. For years I lived beside a man who despised me. Then my sister came back healthy and beautiful and determined to take Ethan away from me. She demanded a divorce and Ethan didn’t stop her. I walked away with nothing except the divorce papers in my hand and the secret I carried. While they built the life they wanted I built myself from nothing. Years later, I returned as the owner of a powerful company no longer the weak woman they once knew. That was when Ethan finally discovered the truth. I had been the one who saved him all those years not my sister. But now the question remains… Can love survive betrayal, lies and a lifetime of secrets?

Jake Ryan had been best friends with Jay Morgan since they were in middle school. Jake had always valued being an only sibling, especially when Jay’s younger sister, Rachel, was always in the picture. Her personality always rubbed Jake the wrong way, and the fact that she always had to butt into her big brother’s business annoyed him more than he could say. Rachel, on the other hand, had way too much fun bothering Jake, he let it be known that she always rubbed him wrong, and she took great joy in making sure to always let it happen. Even after their drunk, and oh stupid night, she still teased him. But when the Jake came to be her personal one man rescue mission to help her out of a blizzard, she wanted no part of it. And a few minutes too long of arguing and annoying each other meant that they were stuck in her family cabin until help came, if they came. What could happen with two people, who clearly hated each other, were forced to spend the unknown amount of hours together? Could they get over the bickering along enough to figure out how to get help? Could they actually pull together and work through their problems? Better yet, could they finally stop denying the attraction they’ve both buried since high school?

Celine's soul is splintered instantly as she caught her fiancé and auntie, who was a mother figure to her, making love on her wedding day, betrayed and heartbroken, she was told that her Aunt would be the bride-to-be if she didn’t want to be. She watched as her six-year relationship went down the drain. In a drunken haze, she escapes to a bar, to drown her sorrow, where she meets a mesmerizing Stranger. They were both drunk as he compassionately listens to her account of her ill-fated wedding day. He promised to marry her, and they drunkenly got married at a chapel. When she sobered up, she realized what happened and fled to Las Vegas, but their paths crossed again. Turns out the stranger was Ermanno Vitale, Las Vegas’ famous billionaire businessman. Erammno Vitale, the king of the Business world, a man to be feared. A man whose presence radiates Fear and power, his name makes people tremble. There was not a single person in this world that dared to offend him. He was unwilling to let her go, after all, she was his wife. Their spark was like a flame that burned the light, igniting an unquenchable passion that was impossible to ignore. But, just as quickly as it began, His presence shatters Celine’s gentle heart, stealing the sense of peace she once knew and plunging her into a world of darkness “She was the forbidden fruit that he craved, a sinful obsession of Lust.” — Ermanno Vitale

"Five million dollars to be my wife for three months," "I'm not interested, Mr. Miles..." "I'll make it ten million. So, what do you say?" May couldn't say no to the tempting offer her boss had given her especially now that she needed money badly to start a new life with her unborn child. "I will do it," little did she know that the reply was going to change her life forever. One month ago, twenty-five-year-old May Walter got her heart broken by her boyfriend of two years whom she had spent her recent years, worshipping for the sake of the love she had for him. May thought being betrayed by her boyfriend was the worst thing that could ever happen to her, but her fate proved her wrong after she got drunk and ended up on the bed with her boss. Nothing was worse than this, May had told herself as she cried her eyes out, but finding out later that she was carrying her boss's child was the worst nightmare she wished to wake up from. Weeks later, May's boss was sitting in front of her, asking her to be his contracted wife for three months for some hidden reason he never told May about. She desperately needed the money to start a new life with her baby, but would this marriage end well?

"I’m a good girl—until I got drunk in Vegas and married a panties-flaming-hot Irishman. Oops. I’ve always lived my life by the rules. Unlike my two sisters, I’m the good one. The responsible one. Going outside my comfort zone is when I wear red lipstick before five PM. That comfort zone of mine? It’s smashed to smithereens on a wild night in Las Vegas when I met—and married—Liam Gallagher. After one shot of tequila, then two, then too many to count, a good girl’s rules tend to disappear. And so do her panties, and her bra, and various other articles of clothing when she’s with an Irishman who knows his way around a woman’s body. Now my husband wants us to stay married. For six months. He says it’ll be worth my while. Considering our chemistry underneath the sheets, I can’t say that he’s wrong. Liam isn’t safe, though. Liam definitely isn’t comfortable. He’s like the male equivalent of wearing red lipstick in the daytime all wrapped up in an irresistible, dangerous package. Yet this stubborn Irishman isn’t about to let me go, drunken Princess Bride-themed Vegas wedding or no. Now I have to decide if I’m brave enough to break the rules for love."