Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

Malia Dawson is tired of wrestling with her demons, stress from her job, past regrets, and wishing to forget for only one night. After a night at the club with her work sister trying to do nothing but have a good time, she finds herself having a stress-relieving passion and a night of fun with a stranger she met. Unaware of who he is and too drunk to care to find out Malia is shocked to find out that not only has she known him in a literal sense since childhood, but he is her best friend's brother. Daniel Severide also known as Danny has had a crush on his sister's best friend for years, He was older than her and she was his little sister's best friend, feeling it wouldn't be right he avoided her and barely talked to her as a kid. As one night brings them together years later, not recognizing her and how she looks now. having a few drinks in and thinking it was a no-strings no attachments situation, and that he'd never see her again. Danny can't believe it when he finds out she was the girl he spent pinning over all those years ago. The universe is funny and has some type of sense of humor when they are brought back together once more when Malia gets transferred to the same firehouse as a paramedic as Danny who is one of the captains of the firefighters at the firehouse. Will Malia and Danny be able to fight the sexual urge and tendencies, and keep things professional thinking of their one night together as just one night or will they give in to each other risking both their jobs and their jeopardizing relationship with her best friend and his sister?

Book two. Please read "Not All That Glitters" before "Not All Who Wander Are Lost."Christmas 2019 in Auburn brought with it a chance for new beginnings. Complicated relationships started to mend and different recoveries were being made. As far as Whitney York and Hollis Bogard were concerned, they knew every hardship they'd face from that point on would be easier since they had each other for support.Fast forward to May, five months later. While making the last minute preparations for she and Whitney's Christmas gift to New York for a week, Hollis gets some disheartening news. If that weren't bad enough, patching things up with her parents was turning out to be a long, winding road. Dalton's prolonged, stressful testimonies to ensure he gets more than a cash settlement from the wealthy prick who put him in a wheelchair after driving drunk is the last straw. As Hollis starts wrestling with her inner demons again, slipping downward is inevitable. Will she confide in Whitney, or risk relapsing?Since disowning her, Whitney stopped hearing from her perfect family altogether. While the lovers are wrapping up in New York, she suddenly comes face to face with Hollywood's latest headliner;Theresa, her famous sister, has died. Urged to attend the funeral, Whitney makes it clear she won't go without Hollis, the very person her parents blame for staying in Maine.Buckle in! Disclaimer: Strong mature content, graphic scenes, drug usage. 18+, please. This novel won’t be for you if you’re not comfortable with any of the above topics.2020 All Rights Reserved (you know how it goes) Please don't attempt to steal any part of my work.

Samantha Bones has always been the nerd and naive type. But well, not exactly that night. She got rid of her glasses, dropped her hair, and crashed a party. P.S ~She was forced by her stepmom to marry a man she barely know just to save her father's company that's on the verge of bankruptcy. While drunk with grief, she met a stranger and had a one night stand with him. She woke up the next morning and couldn't find him. Months passed and on her engagement night, everyone found out she was pregnant. Hence she became an object of laughter, scorned by society overnight. Her parents hated her, loathed by her husband to be and was driven away from home to search for the one who got her pregnant. ~ ~ Samantha Bones finally found him. He was a smoking hot billionaire, CEO to the wright Diamond corporation in Braeton city. His name is Davis Del Rio. She found him but on his wedding day. She came out of the crowd and shamelessly announced that she was pregnant for him. Davis couldn't denial as he's oblivious that his exquisite night with her resulted in a pregnancy. Enraged by his betrayal, Davis wife to be left him standing at the alter. Becoming a substituting bride, Samantha got married to him. When she got married, she thought she would find happiness but her husband made the marriage hell for her for five years until she lost her child and her husband went into coma. It was only a matter of time until she was deemed a widow and be kicked out by his family. Nine years later, she came back and found out her husband as remarried. Being labeled as the bitter ex wife, she yearned for her well- deserve revenge.

I cleared my throat and picked up the menu, pretending to study it. “So,” I said after a moment, “before we start pretending this is something serious, you should know… I’m not exactly the settling-down type.” He arched his brow but said nothing. “I do hookups,” I continued, keeping my tone casual. “That night at the hotel? I was supposed to meet someone else. I went into the wrong room. You were literally a mistake.” He didn’t flinch. Didn’t even blink. Just smirked faintly and reached for his glass of whisky, taking a slow sip. My fake confidence wavered. “Did you hear what I said?” “Every word,” he said quietly. “And?” “And I’m still here.” I stared at him with disbelief. “Wow. You’re not even mad? You’re supposed to call off the wedding and storm out or something.” He chuckled in a low tone, resting his elbow on the table. “You’re really trying hard to get rid of me, aren’t you?” ******* I caught my fiancé cheating with the woman he called his “sister.” Broken, drunk, and reckless, I stumbled into the wrong hotel room, and into the arms of a stranger. By morning, he was gone, leaving only a note: Wrong room, but you taste good. I wanted to forget him. Weeks later, my best friend begged me to meet the man her father had arranged for her to marry and make him call off the wedding. I went there in her place, only to discover he was the same man from that night. He called off the wedding with her. Then he asked me to marry him, but I refused. But refusing a billionaire with an obsession is never that simple… especially when he shows up as my new boss.

Rivergate's most elite social circle had always shared an unspoken rule. Men were free to play the field as they pleased, drifting from one woman to the next. Women, on the other hand, were only allowed a single, discreet indulgence on the day they came of age—a privately hired "life assistant" meant to take care of their physical needs. … On my coming-of-age day, I picked Elliot at first glance from a hundred applicants who came in for interviews. He wore gold-rimmed glasses, looked composed and restrained, and carried himself with a calm maturity that set him apart. He was steady, meticulous, and obsessively clean. The only condition he agreed to was that there would be no bodily contact—hands only. And after every encounter, he would scrub his hands with disinfectant alcohol a hundred times. Over five years, the empty bottles alone were enough to circle the villa seven times. I used to think that one day, I'd help him overcome his barriers and truly make him mine. That illusion shattered the night I got drunk and accidentally wandered into Elliot's room. Hidden beneath his pillow was a DV camera, and inside were several videos of him pleasuring himself. On the screen, the same man who had always been calm and rational with me was staring at the lingerie of the adopted sister who had caused my mother's death, his Adam's apple bobbing as he moaned her name, "Chloe… I love you…" Only then did I realize that every step he had taken toward me had never been about me at all. It had always been a carefully concealed, long-nurtured love for her. So, it was very odd that he cried when I took my adopted sister's place in marrying someone else.

Adeline Monroe gave six years of her life to one man. She worked multiple jobs to put her boyfriend through college, On graduation day, he rewarded her by proposing to her best friend. Heartbroken and drunk, Adeline spent one reckless night with a mysterious stranger. A month later, she discovered she was pregnant. Determined to find the father of her baby, Adeline searched for months until she finally came face-to-face with Damien Hartley—a ruthless billionaire whose wealth was only matched by his cruelty. Instead of believing her, Damien accused her of being a liar, a gold digger, and a woman trying to trap him with a child. One year later, Adeline was forced to make the most devastating decision of her life. She handed her son over to the man who never wanted him. Eight years pass. Damien Hartley has everything: power, wealth, and the son he took from her. Adeline has nothing but the scars he left behind. But fate isn’t finished with them. When circumstances force Adeline back into Damien’s world, she finds herself face-to-face with the little boy she has spent eight years missing—the son who has never stopped asking about his mother. As buried secrets rise to the surface and old wounds reopen, Adeline must also confront the two people who destroyed her life from the very beginning: the ex-boyfriend who betrayed her and the best friend who stole everything she thought was hers. They once made her feel worthless. But Adeline is no longer the girl they abandoned. And when the truth finally comes out, Damien Hartley will have to decide how far he’s willing to go to win back the woman he never should have let go. Because this time… she’s the one with the power to walk away.

Kimberly Wilson had been married to Steven Smith for two years. When Steven proposed a divorce, she agreed without hesitation. Holding a huge fortune, she began to wealth freely. The Wilson family had only one child, so who would be family continuity? Simple, she said, 'Help me post a message offering a high reward for pregnancy.' It read, "Due to my husband's car accident rendering him infertile, seeking a healthy male for surrogacy. Generous compensation." As for the requirements, 'Must be handsome, have an excellent physique, graduated from an Ivy League school, and be good in bed. Price is negotiable.' Her highly efficient personal assistant, whom she had hired at great expense, sent over photos of applicants the next day. One ultimately met her criteria and even exceeded her expectations. The side profile in the photo, noble and aloof, looked familiar. She immediately decided, 'Okay, It's him.' 'He's available anytime, but he has one prerequisite.' her assistant informed. Kimberly raised an eyebrow, 'What requirement?' 'He's a bit shy, so the lights must be off.' Only later did she realize what trouble she had gotten into. The man was not only the sole heir to the multi-billion luxury goods group-Garcia group but also the best friend of her ex-husband. Steven didn't wait for Kimberly to reconcile as usual but instead heard the news of her new romance. Despairing, he said, 'I can live without her. Don't try to persuade me.' But later, drunk, he called in the middle of the night. 'Kiki...' His voice was choked up. A cold male voice responded from the other end, 'May I ask why you're calling my wife in the middle of the night?' '......'

Warning: This book is fucking disgusting. If the thought of getting your tight little holes stretched, used, and ruined makes you uncomfortable, close it right now and go read something vanilla. But if your pussy is already dripping and your thighs are squeezing together… keep reading, you filthy little slut. Throw away every safe, sweet romance you’ve ever touched. This collection doesn’t ask permission. It kicks the door down, grabs you by the hair, slams you face-down, and fucks you raw until you forget your own name. No slow burn. No gentle teasing. No fade-to-black bullshit. Every story starts fast, hits harder, and doesn’t stop until she’s spread wide open, stuffed full of thick cock, leaking load after load from every hole, and begging like a desperate whore for more. Stepdads and stepbrothers who double-team her while Mommy sleeps ten feet away, pumping her full of forbidden cum. Daddy’s closest friend blackmailing her with that slutty nude she accidentally sent, forcing her to cum on his fingers while Dad cheers at the TV inches away. Being gangbanged by drunk older men in the bar —every hole used, every load swallowed or pumped deep until cum runs down her thighs in thick rivers. Choking. Breeding. Gangbangs. Triple penetration. Degradation. Face-fucking. Raw, unprotected creampies that ruin you for any other man. If the thought of being held down and used without mercy while you cum so hard you see stars makes your cunt throb… You’re exactly where you belong. Turn the page, baby.. Your men are waiting. And they’re starving to wreck you...

SAVAGE LOVE GENRE: Romance By, Tamar writes PROLOGUE Amour sniffed back her tears as she watched the scene before her. Never in her life would she have imagined getting herself in this situation she currently was. It felt like a never ending nightmare. The sound of footsteps was what rented the room, it was coming from a tall figure, his gaze never left the man that was tied down on a chair with both his hands chained down on the table The figure held a sharp silver colored knife in his hand, twirling as if it was his play toy, a vicious smirk playing on his lips Every step he took instilled fear and panic inside the man that was tied down. “Boss please forgive me! I was drunk so I thought she was one of the clan's whóre I swear I didn't know she was yours" The man begged like his life depended on it. "Which hand did you use to touch her" Aurelio spoke calmly. "My.. My.. L-Left-" He wasn't chanced to finish his sentence when Aurelio cut off his left hand completely. Blood splashed on his cheek as it began bumping out of the man's hand. "Aargh!!!" The agonizing cry from the man echoed in the room as he peed on himself. Aurelio turned to Amour who looked horrified with the scene she just witnessed. His hands found his way to her neck and he gripped it tightly, bringing her face close to his so he could have a clear view of the terrified look on her face. "This Is just the highest level of my kindness compared to what I can do. Remember this, you're mine! Mine to touch, mine to f**k, mine to do whatever I want with... No one else... But me"

Done checking me out yet, babe?” The godlike man with tattoos covering his muscular forearms asks me with a teasing smirk on his face. "No fair, Miles is hogging her. The name's Beckett, Darling," He said with his deep baritone voice that had my core clenching. "My turn," came another deep gorgeous voice, sounding more sensual than the last. "Hey, Princess." He said, whisking me away from Beckett, "The name's Aphelion." Aphelion grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his beautiful green eyes. "I can still make your insides burn with want for me." He said once he pulled back, grinning at me, a dimple appearing on his cheek, "By the way, I'm Samael." Katrina was left at an orphanage as an infant, on her 18th birthday she gets a vague letter from her birth mother, that doesn’t go into much detail on why her parents abandon her, just that there was a danger lurking, and Katrina had to disappear. On her 21st birthday Katrina’s best friends take her to the Popular club Hecate where her life turns upside down. One minute she’s having fun getting drunk, the next she’s blasting a pervert on his ass with some unknown power that just blasted out of her hands. Now Katrina is stuck attending school with a bunch of demigods and four very attractive very dangerous gods, who have all staked a claim on her. Katrina must learn how to control this new power of hers, avoid the demigoddess who she has somehow angered by her existence, figure out what the danger is her mother’s letter warned her about, all while juggling four very dominating gods.