Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

When the Irwins were on the brink of bankruptcy, I proposed a marriage of convenience to Ryan and saved them from collapse. Ever the playboy, Ryan was so grateful that he swore eternal loyalty to me, even getting a vasectomy immediately to prove his devotion. He took me across mountains and rivers, saying he wanted to etch our love into every corner of the world. Three years later, he got me drunk, stole my phone, and used it to infiltrate the Knights’ estate. That night, he orchestrated the complete downfall of my family’s legacy. My parents overdosed on sleeping pills. My sister was dragged into an alley by his men, violated, filmed, and the footage was auctioned off to amuse wealthy heirs. I begged him to let my family go. However, he gripped my face and forced me to watch as my parents were cremated. “You think marrying me back then was some noble sacrifice? Sure, the whole city praised your family for helping mine in our darkest hour. But what did they say about me? “They call me your lapdog, Lily!” Ryan destroyed the Knights to prove he was better than us and not anyone’s dog. He tore up the divorce papers and shoved the shreds into my mouth. Ryan wanted me to watch as he rose to power and made the world kneel before him. To humiliate me, he brought home a different woman every night, turning our house into a hotel while I served them. “What’s the Knights’ worth now? With your status, cooking for them and massaging their feet like this is only fitting.” It didn’t matter. When I saved him from that avalanche, a shard of stone slashed my heart. Now, I only have three days left to live.

My husband, the Don, never acknowledged me as anything more than his political bride. From the day we married, I knew there was someone else in his heart, a woman from the slums named Elena. But for the sake of my family's honor, and for that small, pathetic scrap of love I still held onto, I endured everything in silence. Until two months ago. He came home drunk and reckless and lost all control. He kicked open my bedroom door and took me like a man possessed, and the whole time, the name he breathed into my ear wasn't mine. It was hers. But that night left something behind. I was pregnant. I thought maybe this child could be the thing that finally turned us around. So I walked to his study door, pregnancy report in hand, heart full of something dangerously close to hope. That's when I heard his voice through the door, soft and tender, speaking in a tone I had never once heard him use with me. "Don't worry, Elena. Once you have the baby, I'll bring him into the family personally. He'll be the only heir I recognize. As for Jessica..." His voice turned cold and contemptuous. "She'll never have children. For the past seven years, I've had someone slip the highest dose of birth control into the warm milk she drinks every night before bed. She's nothing but a political arrangement. Why would I let her carry my bloodline?" The door opened. He stepped out and saw me standing there, frozen. He assumed I'd do what I always did, scream and cry and demand answers. He had no idea this time was different. This time, I was really leaving.

Explicit Romance | Dark Mafia | Obsession | Possession 🔞 | BDSM "Say my name." His hand tightened around my throat, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind me I couldn’t escape. "You begged for this," Zachary whispered, his lips brushing mine. "Don’t pretend you didn’t." I hated him. I hated the way my body betrayed me. "Spread your legs wider… that’s it, my good boy." One night. That was all it took for Ezekiel’s life to fall apart. Broken, drunk, and desperate to forget the painful guilt, Ezekiel gave himself to a stranger whose touch felt like salvation and sin all at once. He let himself be ruined. By morning, the man was gone, leaving behind nothing but memories and a heart he didn’t realize he’d already stolen. But fate wasn’t finished with him, because the stranger wasn’t just anyone. He was Zachary. The most dangerous man in the country. A mafia king whispered about in fear. A monster no one dared approach. And now… Ezekiel’s mission was to seduce him, betray him, and destroy him. Forced into a deadly game of lies and longing, Ezekiel walks willingly back into Zachary’s arms, even when every touch weakens his resolve and every kiss feels like a promise he was never meant to keep. Ezekiel willingly made a move into Zachary’s world, knowing one wrong move could cost him his life. But the closer he gets, the more dangerous the truth becomes. He was supposed to arrest him, not crave him, not fall in love either. Zachary has no intention of letting his little love to escape his shackles of love. In a world of power, obsession, and betrayal, love might be the only sin neither of them can survive.

Jonathan is an Alpha, who is the son of the most wealthy man and also he the most successful singer. He was getting mated with a simple omega girl named Trisha and Jonathan is not happy about it. He doesn't want to get married to some non- celebrity person but he can't deny his father order. He hates her but Trisha was committed to Jonathan. Trisha is so excited for her wedding, she is getting married with her favourite celebrity and her childhood crush. After their weeding, Jonathan doesn't care about Trisha felling and sleeping with others. Trisha cry alot when she see her Alpha with others. "One day I will kick you out from my own just wait and watch Omega." But Trisha got pregnant when she spent her heart with Jonathan and Jonathan starts taking care of her. Their relationship changed little bit. Because of his tour Jonathan needs to leave Trisha alone, Trisha try to stop him but the Alpha didn't even care. At last because of an accident Trish lost the baby and Jonathan blame her for it. Next time when Trisha was in heat, Jonathan left her alone. Trisha begs him to come and help her but Jonathan refuses. At last he got drunk and came home and help Trisha. When Trisha got pregnant Jonathan and his mom accused Trisha for cheating. "Everyone, meet my wife. She likes to spread her legs for other Alphas." Jonathan said in anger and shoves Trisha infront of reports and his fans. Trisha keeps begging Jonathan to not reject her, to beleive her. But Jonathan didn't listen. It's been six years and Trisha live in small house, working hard to feed her son. What happens when they meet again? What happens when Jonathan knows the truth.

Introduction At my mating ceremony with Blake Morrison, the Alpha heir I'd loved for eight years, his childhood sweetheart texted him a pregnancy test photo. He didn't hesitate for a second. He canceled our mating ceremony and rushed off to take care of his childhood sweetheart. After he left the ceremony hall, his childhood sweetheart posted photos on the big screen behind me. Photos of the two of them tangled together in my bedroom. Then Blake sent me a message: "I was drunk that night. Ivy is carrying my child, and I need to be there for her." "She wanted to hide the pregnancy and raise the pup alone, but she's an Omega. It's too hard for an Omega to raise a child by herself, especially when she's competing to be the Pack's Head Healer... I can't ruin her future, and I can't abandon an innocent life." "You're an Alpha wolf. High-ranking wolves don't get pregnant easily, and you've always wanted children quickly, right? After she gives birth, I'll arrange for her to study advanced healing at the Alliance. You can raise the child, and they'll only know you as their mother." When I didn't reply, he added another message: "The official marking and re-scheduling our mating ceremony will have to wait until after Ivy gives birth." I stared at my phone screen, laughing until my eyes burned with tears. I was the only Alpha heiress of the Stormfang Pack, the strongest pack in Southern territories. Did he really think that I had no choice but to pick him as my mate? I dialed the Alpha King Kane Blackwood's number directly: "Are you still willing to be my mate?"

"No offense but you are always so grumpy, it's actually kind of cute." I bluntly say to him and watch him throw me a nasty glare, I just giggle at that. "I'm not." he defends himself in a calm yet stern voice keeping his face emotionless. "sure." I find myself saying sarcastically. I think I'm too drunk  because there is no way a sober River will have the courage to hold a conversation with a very grumpy Killian. I expect another scary glare to come towards me but instead I meet with a soft gaze that stares at me with an unreadable expression. "I'm not." This time he says softly, I see him biting back a small smile and , he smiles. I've never seen him smiling before, not this way. Standing on the edge of life, River breathes in and lets himself adjust into a new life, into a new family. After a horrifying past he finds his life wrapped around a shaggy orphanage and several foster homes which makes it hard to believe that he is actually being adopted. Having a family was always a desire of him but to his burnt luck, he doesn't feel like he belongs in his adoptive family. Everyone and everything around him make it clear that he wasn't born to be happy. River is waiting for another push, one last push to end it all and fall from the edge and that's when a grumpy looking Killian Price steps into his life. River can't decide if Killian is the saviour or the devil himself. River's life meets with unexpected secrets mixed with burning desire, adorning the melancholic attire. Soon, he finds out he isn't the only one standing on the edge of the cliff, or he realises he is far from the edge.

“Mummy, Is the President our daddy?” Layla asked curiously, head tilted sideways. Her brothers listened in attentively, obviously wanting a response. I forced out a chuckle as I crouched low before her to cup her soft cheeks. “Honey, the president isn’t your daddy. The President is a very wicked person.” “But, we met him today and he was very polite. He even complimented my hair.” Layla continued earnestly and my heart hammered against my chest violently “Cupcakes, whenever you run into the President; stay away from him because he’s very cruel, okay?” The triplets’ eyes were wide as they hastily nodded their heads, and I pulled them into a long hug. They had no idea the President had once wanted them dead without second thoughts. I’ve sworn to protect them with my life since I had them. No one’s going to take them away from me. Not even their vile father, the President! ~~~ Zendaya Montclair unwillingly got into a contract marriage with the President and suffered a great deal in the marriage– from having to break up with her high school sweetheart because of the marriage, to depression, to public humiliation– to her ex-boyfriend whom she was still in love with, getting married to her supposed best friend. Zendaya was heartbroken. She got drunk that night and spent it in her husband’s bed, which instantly led to an accidental pregnancy. The President wanted her to get rid of the pregnancy because he never saw her as a mother of his future children and only a wife of convenience. That was the last straw. Zendaya left everything behind and fled, promising herself to come back for revenge on every single person who had wronged her. Including the President, she was going to make him pay!

When I first caught Miles cheating on me, I pinned him down at the entrance whenever he came home every day. I would pull down his pants and spray high-concentration alcohol all over his nether regions. He always went along with it with teary eyes because he knew he had been in the wrong. He would only look at me with a pitiful gaze and coax me to stop. One day, he came home two hours late. I became mad when I smelled the perfume on him. I started taking off his belt forcefully and yelled, “Last time, when you had your fun with one woman, you came home half an hour late. “Now you’re two hours late. Talk! Did you sleep with four?” Even though he apologized to me for the twenty-ninth time, I pushed him away repeatedly. He finally raised his hand to show me the IV mark on the back of it. He snapped and screamed at me, “Enough! I was dying with a high fever, yet you haven’t even asked how I’m doing. You just fly off the handle every single day. When are you going to stop? “Fine, I got drunk and slept with someone once. Big deal. You’re not so innocent yourself. “It’s no wonder you got dragged into an alley at sixteen, stripped, and assaulted. Jenna, you’re a paranoid wreck. You may have even deserved it.” The spray bottle shattered at my feet, and the smell of alcohol caught in my throat. I was speechless. I felt exhausted when I saw his disgusted expression. I did not want this broken relationship any longer.

Belinda Morris sits in her office. Her eyes are as cold as the smile on her lips. Five years ago, her father and fiance stole her mother's firm from her. She always wanted to follow in her mother's footsteps. Her mother was the best lawyer in town. She will never forget the day they told her to walk away as she was not a good lawyer and was bad for the firm. Her mother died a few years before she graduated from Yale University. She was top of her class, and Jake, her ex-fiance, was always jealous of her. Her father has married again, and Jake broke off their engagement to marry her stepsister Amanda, a lawyer. Amanda is not a good lawyer. They changed her mother's firm's name from Morris and Partners to Jones, Green, and Partners. Morris was her mother's maiden name. She never took Belinda's father's surname, Jones. Morris and Partners are back in town and are already stirring the pot. All her mother's old clients are returning to Morris and Partners as Jake and Amanda are not the best in the business, and Henry Jones is too old to practice. Today Chase Stone is coming to Belinda. He is moving all his business to her firm. Belinda is nervous as she and Chase had a one-night stand before she left. She knew he was drunk and not interested in her. She must hide her son from him. Chase is a ruthless man. He is also one of the most eligible bachelors in America. He told her that night that he was uninterested in a relationship, but so was she. They were both tipsy, and somehow, the protection did not work. Her son Connor looks like his father, so she can not allow Chase to see him.

Also known as [Ruined Before I Walked The Aisle], this book contains raw and unfiltered explicit contents. Strictly R18+ One night and one mistake I can't fix. I was reckless, drunk, and anonymous when I gave myself to a masked stranger in the hotel lounge. Until I walked into my fiancé's family estate and met him again, Roth Dimitri, the forbidden and untouchable billionaire who happens to be my fiancé's father. My name is Elena Caldwell, and I am drowning in sin. To everyone else, I am the blushing bride-to-be. Adrian Dimitri's fiancée. The girl wearing his ring, smiling on his arm, and pretending she belongs to him. But the truth? My body and every forbidden thought I have belong to someone else. To the only man I can never admit to wanting. I should've said no that night. I should've walked away before one reckless mistake became an obsession I couldn't escape. But the way his father looks at me, like I've always been his, makes it impossible, let alone resist. He's older, obsessed, and dangerous for me. I'm engaged, aching wet, and trapped by him. He wants my total submission in secret, I want to be the perfect wife for his son in public. But perfection is nothing whenever my fiancée father kisses me until I lose my breath, when he makes me submissive to his demands, when he draws those filthy words out of me as I scream his name in pleasure, and when he splits me apart again and again in his bed until I forget I'm engaged to his son.