Funny And Bad Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling

According to the Winslow family's rules that are passed down for generations, anyone who wants to marry into the family must draw a tarot card. But I have drawn 99 times, and every single card is a bad one. Before the 100th draw, I see Clara Winslow replace all the Lovers cards in the deck. She says, "No matter how many times he tries, he will only draw the worst cards." I finally realize that she does not love me at all. That is fine because I no longer want to marry her either. I toss the cards aside and call my parents. "I accept the arranged marriage with the Shaws."

Gregory Stevens, a newly arrived student at Blackwood International College, mysteriously disappears from the elite private school. Erik Wilson must track him down without anyone knowing that they are hackers. With every clue that Erik discovers the lines become more and more blurred surrounding Gregory, and who he truly might be. The first clue he finds is a half-burned cryptic note that reads "Ric$40" written on top of Gregory's uniform in his dorm room. That same clue appears on Gregory's smartwatch as well. The realm of hacking knows his name and invites him to join in, and play.

DISCLAIMER! MM ROMANCE ! Caleb Foster is late. Again. Snow is still melting in his hair when he pushes open the classroom door, the cold from the rink clinging to him as thirty students turn to stare. At the front of the room, Professor Elliot Ward pauses mid-sentence. His gaze drifts to the attendance sheet, then back to the broad-shouldered hockey captain standing in the doorway. “Mr. Foster,” he says calmly. “I assume the ice rink does not operate on the same schedule as my classroom.”

A fiercely independent and highly disciplined art student, known for her intense focus and guarded nature, is meticulously planning her final thesis exhibition – a project she sees as her only path to healing from a past betrayal that left her emotionally scarred. Her carefully constructed world is upended when a plumbing disaster in the dorms forces her into a temporary, shared apartment with the university's star rugby captain. He's a charismatic, powerful 'golden retriever' type, known for his easy charm and protective instincts, but also carries the weight of his own family's expectations. Initially, she views him as a loud, distracting presence, leading to clashes over shared

Allison Trainer has grown up surrounded by wealth, privilege, and the prestige of her family’s law firm. The Trainer Law Firm has been a cornerstone of success for generations, strengthened by its close partnership with Darson Law—a relationship that has brought both families fame, fortune, and influence. But no amount of wealth or status can make Allison tolerate one person: Tristain Darson. The son of her parents’ lifelong friends, Tristain is everything she despises—arrogant, infuriating, and seemingly intent on pushing every button she has. Their rivalry is fueled by endless arguments, sharp words, and an unspoken competition neither is willing to back down from. Then life throws t

Elara Duval lives two lives. By day, she’s the invisible stepdaughter in a family that dismisses her. By night, she’s ShadowByte, the most elusive hacker in the digital underworld. Anonymous. Untouchable. Safe. Or so she thinks. Damon Cross rules his empire with an iron fist. The billionaire CEO of CrossTech is brilliant, arrogant, and mercilessly calculated. His empire thrives on power, but when a cyberattack threatens everything he’s built, he sets his sights on the one ghost who could save him: ShadowByte. When their paths collide, sparks turn to fire. Their battle of wills is as dangerous as it is magnetic. He sees her as a puzzle he must control. She sees him as the kind of man s

Crossing Lines is a dark, seductive romance where power, obsession, and secrets blur the line between love and control. Lana Reyes, a driven NYU law student with a desperate need to stay afloat, takes a job at Vortex, Manhattan’s most exclusive underground club. She never expects to catch the eye of Nathan Cross—ruthless billionaire, Vortex’s elusive owner, and a man who doesn’t do second encounters. But when their worlds collide, the pull is magnetic. What begins as a dangerous game of dominance and desire spirals into something neither of them can control. As Lana falls deeper into Nathan’s world of power, secrets, and seduction, she must decide how far she's willing to go—and what line

I was the ultimate pick-me girl at the office, and somehow, I ended up inside a horror game before New Year's Eve. Seeing the bloody lady crawling in the dark elevator, I screamed out loud. "Oh my gosh! Where did you get that lipstick? It's perfect! It makes your skin look three shades lighter!" The bloody lady blinked at me in confusion as I helped her up. She even recommended the exact lipstick shade. Then I turned around and came face-to-face with the chainsaw-psycho general manager with multiple personalities, swinging his weapon around. I tied a little bow on his chainsaw. "Everyone else only cares if your chainsaw is sharp. I'm the only one who cares if you're tired from swinging

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billion