Novel & Cerita Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

Just because I ate one chicken leg more than my brother, my father kicked me out of the house in the middle of a snowstorm. Later on, my father of an archeologist dug up my body. Due to my missing head, he did not recognize me. Even when he saw that the body had the same scars as I did, he did not care. Later on, my mother dug out my heart and showed it to her students. "Today, we will study the heart of someone with congenital heart disease." She once said she would recognize me no matter what I looked like. Mom, now that the only thing left of me is my heart, do you still recognize me?

“Tell me, Scarlett. What do you want?” His voice is a growl — low, filthy — fingers teasing beneath the lace of my panties, just enough to make me squirm. “Say it. I want to hear you beg for it.” He murmurs the words, lips brushing the shell of my ear. “We shouldn’t be doing this…” I whisper, breathless, my body already arching into his touch, betraying every word I just said. Then his fingers slide into my soaked folds, and a sharp moan escapes my lips. He chuckles. Dark. Wicked. “Then why are you so wet for me?” — All Scarlett Bennett wants after a messy divorce that nearly destroyed her reputation and forced her out of the career she loved is a fresh start with absolutel

I was a streamer famous for doing random, unhinged stuff online. And now the richest woman in Bayford wanted me to seduce her son. "Make my son fall for you. I'll give you ten properties. Houses, apartments, condos." For a second, even I thought, 'Okay, this is insane.' Marianne Jensen looked at me like I was her last hope. "Please. I'm out of options. Ever since he was little, I kept pretty girls around him. When he got older, I introduced him to every type of girl possible. But he's thirty now and has never dated anyone." Then she lowered her voice. "I think something's wrong with him. Like those billionaire guys in drama shorts. Maybe he only likes weird girls from the bad side of to

⚠️ WARNING! This book contains strong 30 Erotic collection sexual content, explicit language, taboo themes, and mature situations intended strictly for adult readers. If you are under the age of 18, please do not read further. Reader discretion is advised. You have been warned. December is cold… but these nights are burning hot. From forbidden family secrets to dangerous holiday temptations, Dirty December: Dripping Wet delivers thirty sinful stories filled with obsession, lust, betrayal, and unforgettable nights. Behind the Christmas lights and falling snow are people giving in to their darkest desires billionaires who always get what they want, bosses who can’t keep their

“You wanna know what I did? Sure, I'll tell you. I fucked with a pretty bimbo all night. Her energy was unmatched!” Stella always knew that her boss, James, had his eyes on her and would do anything to get her in his bed. But she refused to give in to his advances and drew the line between their CEO and secretary relationship. However, when James gets involved in a scandal with a famous model, and his mother forces him to get married, he has no choice but to turn to Stella for help to be his fake girlfriend. What started as a fake relationship and sparks of sexual attraction turned into something more when they were forced to get closer. James had secrets that could haunt Stella for th

   She let out a gasp as I spun her around and pressed her Firmly between the wall and my chest, loving the way she fit perfectly into my arms. She had no idea how badly I wanted to consume All of her.      “Let go of me you bastard! You're harassing me!” She screamed and I chuckled Before grabbed her hands and holding them up above her head.    She moaned slightly and I knew I was affecting her as much as she was affecting me.     “It seems you don't understand what it means to be claimed by me. What it means to be mine and I don't mind showing you over and over again till every part of your body aches for me. Now be a good girl and arch your back”... ~     She was

Pure, undiluted stories to leave you scrolling to read more. Some fantasies are too dirty to keep hidden. This collection of short, steamy stories is all about the kind of desire that keeps you up at bothered, breathless and hot —dark, forbidden, and completely irresistible. From age-gap temptation, from reckless passion to the raw intensity of, every story is itching to make you blush, crave, and beg for more. No rules. No shame. Just pure, unfiltered . Are you ready to give in? What to expect Taboo Forbidden Reverse harem Beasty Bdsm Humiliation Power play Affairs

Age is just a number. Or at least that's what Maxwell Cooper thinks whenever he hits on his best friend's mother, Amanda, who is very much divorced and extremely attractive in his eyes. Amanda, highly aware of the obvious infatuation that Maxwell has on her, tries to avoid his advances towards her given their conflicting age differences. She speculates that Maxwell's attraction towards older women is deeply rooted to fact that he might just have some 'Mommy issues'. Maxwell refutes the hypothesis by claiming that he's only attracted to her , not older women in general. Both are put to the test when Amanda , returning from yet another failed date one night, runs into Maxwell who notices

My mother threatens to jump off a building in front of me three times. The first time is when I fill out my college application. She stands on the rooftop and forces me to choose a local college. I give in, and with a 1550 SAT score, I end up attending a second-tier local college. The second time is after I graduate and go to Brayton for work. She stands on top of my company building and forces me to quit. I return to my hometown and take a gas station job she finds for me, earning 7.50 dollars per hour. The third time, she stands on a rooftop again and forces me to marry a man I have only met once but whom she is very satisfied with. I obey and marry him, only to suffer domestic violence

I was prepping the ceremonial cloak for our seventh mating anniversary. The front door suddenly banged open. My son rushed inside, tears streaming down his face. "The teacher yelled at me," he sobbed. He shoved the wrinkled drawing into my hands before burying his face in my shirt. I smoothed out the paper to see what the drama was about. It was a sketch of a faceless woman titled: The Substitute Mom. My heart stopped as I read the scribbles underneath. "Daddy said she is the backup." "She does the chores but gets no wages." "The Real Mom is responsible for being beautiful and guarding the treasury." My fingertips turned ice-cold against the paper. My mate, Ethan, had just returned from a pa