Funny Text Messages Novels & Stories

My boyfriend is a forensic doctor. I've been abducted and tied to a bomb—there's only ten minutes to detonation. The abductors force me to call my boyfriend, but all I get is a scolding. "What the hell do you want, Michelle? What are you playing at, using your life as an excuse just because you're jealous? "Vi's cat has already been stuck in a tree for three days. She loves it like it's her life! If you delay me from saving it, you'll be a murderer!" I hear a coquettish voice ring out on the other end of the line. "Thank you for this, Kev. You're amazing!" I recognize that voice—it belongs to my boyfriend's childhood friend. I text my boyfriend when the bomb is about to explode. "Farewell forever. I pray we won't meet each other again in another life."

Everyone cheered on the most handsome student in our elective class, Jack Anderson, to reveal his ideal type. “My future wife has to be at least five feet five inches tall, and her parents must be professors. She also has to be beautiful and a top student in her field…” While everyone cheered, I immediately looked up. Why did the description… sound like my girlfriend, Cindy Swift? The next second, the professor standing next to the podium, Liam Swift, immediately smiled obsequiously. “That’s great! If Cindy hears this, she’ll be very happy! “You should meet her so that she wouldn’t go overseas over some silly guy.” Our classmates were roaring with laughter. I lowered my eyes and stared at the text message my parents had sent me. [You rascal! Are you sure you want to accompany your girlfriend overseas? No one will take over our family business, then!]

My mate, Alpha Logan, was at the Sanctuary preparing to mark me when he was called away. “The mating doesn’t have to be on a full moon,” he said. “Something urgent has come up.” He left me alone in the sacred Sanctuary on the night of the full moon, all because his human friend, Lila, had been injured by a rogue wolf while hiking. A moment later, his text came through: [Lila needs a special serum. I have to get her to Canada within 48 hours. Let's reschedule the mating ceremony.] I’d lost count of how many times Logan had chosen Lila over me. But this time, I wasn’t going to get jealous, throw a fit, and ultimately cave like I always did. Because Logan has no idea that if we don't complete our mating bond by tomorrow, I'm going to die.

My health was not good, but I had always wanted a child. My husband, citing concern for my health, avoided intimacy with me for a year. Then I stumbled across his private messages with another woman. [You'll spend Valentine's Day with me, right? You're not going to touch her tonight, are you?] [You know I don't like doing it just to make babies. Got you some lingerie. Wear it for me tomorrow.] That ill-fitting lace lingerie he was talking about was on my body. I'd slipped it on while he was in the shower, thinking it was a Valentine's Day surprise from him. Turned out, he hadn't bought the wrong size. He had just sent it to the wrong address. I clicked on the woman's profile. Her latest video showed her at the beach, hand in hand with the person filming. I recognized her hand instantly. It belonged to my best friend.

Right when she thought she was going to hit the ground something hard caught her, a pair of arms and when she looked up she was staring into a set of deep gray eyes..... This is my first attempt at writing so I'm sure there are plenty of mistakes, any and all comments/reviews are welcome. Thank you and I hope you enjoy 😄

Leila, a young Austrian aristocrat and student in Classics, is drawn into a world of conspiracy and danger when her aunt is involved in a suspicious car accident. Leila travels to her aunt’s chalet to take care of her husky, but soon discovers a body in the drawing room. Terrified, she runs out and bumps into Dick, a nosy English banker who becomes entangled in the mystery. When they return to the drawing room, the body has disappeared. Leila takes the husky for a walk and discovers that the body has been moved to a house recently purchased by another branch of her family. She finds a notebook with encrypted entries in the drawing room and uses her linguistic skills to decode them. She discovers the initials, address, and phone number of someone involved in the plot. Leila calls the number and is warned against getting involved. Undeterred, she discovers a bizarre research center where a conference on German mystical past is taking place.She suspects that there is a bizarre cult operating underground. Leila learns about their plan to topple every democracy in Europe. The cult is after an artifact that may be hidden in her aunt’s chalet. However, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Leila discovers that the aristocratic cult members are pawns in a larger game. They are unknowingly being manipulated to cause disruption in the European banking system using an AI virus.The chaos will cause turmoil in the Euro zone. As Leila and her aunt race against time to stop the virus from being unleashed, they uncover an even more shocking truth: Leila’s own family members are part of the conspiracy. With betrayal and danger at every turn, Leila must use all of her wit to outsmart the cult.

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." Myles is jolly, friendly and kind as everyone describe, everyone is her friends, expect for one guy that didn't know she existed, Harry. Harry is everyone's crush, he has this charisma that even Myles was captivated. Myles love him and idolize him so much that she was blinded by it. She met Asher while idolizing Harry, but she only sees him as a friend opposite of Asher’s feelings for her. Harry is her first love but does she really love him as she think or she's just stuck to the ideal image of him? First love dies is a story about first love and how we wish for the ideal and are blinded with it.

Insomnia, depression and what's worse, he had absolutely no appetite. Things couldn't get any worse for him. Yet when life had already made him hit rock-bottom, there was nothing left to lose anymore. Thrown into such situation, a young man who wasn't in the best mental condition, suddenly got nicknamed Midnight and found himself visiting the same girl over and over again every night in her backyard. The girl being the same one he had had a crush on years ago. The problem is... This girl has no idea who he is, nor did he have any intention to let her know. In such situation a question arises: How do I make her like me back?

Verine Garzon is curious and pure but she's not innocent. Her wild acts results to something serious in her reproductive health that needs professional help of doctors. When she met her aunts doctor, Dr. Malcolm Monteclar, the most handsome doctor in the country, she couldn't help but fantasize about his gorgeous face, oozing sex appeal, hard rock muscles and his big thing. When he caught her she didn't hesitate to ask for his help. Will Malcolm help her?

"I'll wait until you're old enough!" Was accepted by a young CEO as a personal servant when he was having trouble earning money to treat his mother's illness. "Agree to marry me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life." Violet was proposed at the age of 15 by Basil, a handsome and wealthy CEO. But when entering the world of the rich, there were rules that were not to be broken, but Violet broke them. Violet also accidentally found the killer who killed her father. Will Basil be able to wait until Violet is old enough to get married when Basil already has an arranged marriage and Viole is too young to be able to resist the plots to kill her? How will Basil protect Violet?