Period Jokes Novels & Stories

The day before my period, I found a note on my fiancé's phone. [Her period starts tomorrow. I already packed pads and painkillers in her bag.] I smiled. It was such a small thing, but it felt thoughtful. The next day, a dull ache twisted in my lower stomach. Pale and uncomfortable, I dug through my crossbody bag. Nothing. Dark red blood stained my pants. Students pointed behind me and whispered with awkward laughs. I figured he'd just forgotten at the last minute. Then the new intern teacher posted on social media. [Just started working, and my supervising teacher is literally the sweetest! He even got me pads and painkillers. This period has been pain-free!] The photo showed a pack of pads, an ibuprofen tablet, and a mug of ginger tea. The painkillers were mine—the ones I'd kept stocked at home for years because of my cramps. The pads were the only brand my skin could tolerate. I turned off my phone and stared at the engagement ring on my finger for a long time. Then I stood up and headed to the principal's office to apply for the overseas teacher exchange program. Seven years. He still couldn't remember my cycle. And now, he never would have to.

When Eloise Garpin, my daughter, comes back from kindergarten, she tells me that her teacher, Karen Linsell, has given her class a weird assignment. Apparently, everyone is to record their mothers' menstrual week. But what makes things weirder is that whenever I'm on my period, John Garpin, my husband who's often busy with work, keeps offering to pick Eloise up from kindergarten. One day, I come across a post on a social media app. "What should I do? I've fallen in love with my student's rich father! Oh dear, I really like him so much! You have no idea that his taut and slim waist looks so seductive! Every time I see him, I can't help but moan!" Someone begins admonishing her out of fury the moment they see the post. "What the hell? Are you itching to become a mistress? You really are shameless! Goodness, you're so disgusting! I can't believe you call yourself a teacher!" Unexpectedly, the original poster doesn't care about the comment at all. She even posts a photo featuring the aftermath of her carnal fun with the man. "So what if I am? Anyway, we regularly sleep together every month whenever he picks his daughter up during his wife's period. This is so thrilling!" I'm stunned when I see the million-dollar custom watch strapped to the man's wrist in the photo. And today… happens to be the first day of my period.

I've just left the washroom when Vanessa Shallow, who has just returned from her maternity leave, covers her mouth as she laughs at me. "Wow, you really are quick when it comes to bathroom breaks, huh? No wonder your sales performance is increasing by leaps and bounds! I suppose it's all thanks to your ability to take off your pants very quickly!" Vanessa acts as though she's joking as she starts making faces at the male colleagues around us. "Right, I forgot how prideful young ladies are nowadays! They can't seem to accept such truths when spoken in such a blunt manner!" The colleagues burst out laughing in a lecherous way afterward. Their perverted gazes keep clinging to my legs the whole time. As I stare at Vanessa's slightly bloated face, my gaze grows cold. It seems that she's so anxious to get her position as the project leader back that she's willing to shed even her sense of shame and propriety. I take a step forward and speak up. "I'm not as skilled as you are when it comes to such things, Vanessa. After all, not everyone is capable of making Mr. Studdard visit their home every midnight during their maternity leave." As soon as my words fall, the previously rowdy office goes deathly silent.

Freya Laurent returns to the Blackwood Pack after five years, eager to reunite with her adoptive family. But the moment Alpha Dane, the man who's been her protective brother since childhood sees her, his wolf claims her as his fated mate. ‎ ‎Caught between duty and desire, Dane fights his primal urges while Freya struggles with dreams and an inexplicable pull toward the one man she shouldn't want. When jealous warrior Selene allies with rival Alpha Viktor, their attacks awaken ancient powers within Freya. ‎ ‎She's not just human. She's the Moon Goddess's last descendant, and everyone wants her power. ‎ ‎Can love conquer blood? Or will destiny destroy them both?

Evonne Shannon was a poor student mother sponsored. She was also the crush I had been courting for a long time. Wanting to allow her to shine, I gave up my place in the piano competition for her. However, she glared at me with disdain for deciding this on my own. She then instantly turned around and handed the registration form to her boyfriend, Angelo Zambrano, and said, "Ange, only you deserve this competition." Evonne liked sports cars, so I begged my mother to buy her a limited-edition McLaren supercar. But in return, Evonne mocked me and called me shallow. "Don't think I'll accept you just because I'm accepting the car, Chase Shannon. You've never understood me." With my help, Evonne got to put on a facade of a mysterious billionaire's daughter. But the moment she got money from me, she turned around and went on a romantic getaway with Angelo. I thought of Evonne as my everything and even asked my mother to arrange for her to join the family company. Within half a year, she was promoted to a core team member. She then conspired with Angelo to drain the company dry and even forced me to my death. "What else can you do besides insult me with money and a materialistic lifestyle, Chase? You're the most disgusting obstacle on my path to success. Only when you're dead can I marry Ange," she declared. I was heartbroken when I heard this, and that was when Evonne pushed me off the sidewalk and into traffic. Immediately after that incident, I was reincarnated to the day I bought Evonne a piano. She was glaring at me with disdain. "If you don't want to buy it, just say so. There's no need to humiliate me like this." I let out a dismissive scoff. "Am I the one who's humiliating you, or are you the shameless one? You beg for food but complain that it's cold. You're worse than those stray dogs on the streets. At least they show gratitude after getting scraps."

I haven't had my period in two months, and my mom assumes I must be pregnant. So, she marches me off to see a doctor. Of all people, the doctor on duty turns out to be my ex—the one I dumped two months ago. His face betrays nothing, his voice icy as he says, "Lie on the exam table. Lift your shirt and pull your pants down." When I don't follow his instructions quickly enough, he impatiently pulls my pants down himself. But once the curtain is drawn, he takes off his glasses and hovers over me. "We didn't even go all the way. So, why haven't you had your period in two months?"

Abigail Elijah becomes the only means to an end. Against her will, she is forced into an arrangement to marry Edward Dante, a ruthless multi-billionaire, for a set period of time. The agreement is simple: a marriage of convenience. But neither Abigail nor Edward expects the emotional storms that are about to collide.

Sibel returned from the war, she took advantage of the recovery period disguised as a maid, with the help of beta into omega to explore the toiling life of the bottom of the pack people, but was abused and punished by gamma, she knew the same as omega's servant Jolie, how should they fight back?

Nemiah, an average college student from Lyceum University in the present year, was trapped with the memories of her life from 1000 years ago. She met the keeper who holds the last portal to the earlier period where the island of Mu still exists. Born with royal blood, her fate will begin to crumble

My life had never been more miserable until the day I witnessed my stepsister, Elise, getting married to my boyfriend, Miguel Hernandez - on the very same day I assisted a homeless-looking man. To make matters worse, I had to offer myself as property of El Diablo, the most ruthless mafia lord in the city, to save my father's life. After being auctioned off by El Diablo, I discovered that my new master was the homeless man I assisted - Gabriel, who also happened to be Elise's ex-boyfriend and Miguel's sworn rival. As the saying goes, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” and I didn't just find a friend in Gabriel, but also a contract husband. However, I had a probation period of two months to fully become a property of Gabriel else, I would be returned to El Diablo. What happens when the probation period is over and feelings start to creep in? Will Gabriel still regard me as a worthy candidate for the contract marriage?