CHAPTER 3

THE WAY WE WERE

The next morning, I woke up before Adrian. His arm was still wrapped around my waist, his face buried against the back of my neck. For a while, I lay perfectly still, afraid that the slightest movement would wake him. Adrian slept heavily whenever he was tired, and I had always found it strangely comforting to watch him like this. Without his usual teasing smile or careless attitude, he looked younger. Almost like the boy I had grown up with.

I remembered the first time I realized Adrian was handsome. I had been fifteen, and he had just returned from a summer camp. He had grown taller in the few weeks he was gone, his shoulders broader and his face sharper.

When he walked into the living room, I had stared at him for so long that my mother eventually asked if I was feeling alright. Adrian had looked at me and laughed, completely unaware of the reason I couldn't stop staring.

I had gone to my room that night and spent nearly an hour thinking about him. It was probably the beginning of my first crush, although I had been too young and too embarrassed to call it that.

Somehow, that crush had grown with me.

I carefully removed Adrian's arm and climbed out of bed. He stirred but didn't wake. I slipped into the bathroom, washed my face and stared at my reflection. My eyes looked tired. I had barely slept, yet the first thing that came to mind was still Adrian. I hated that about myself. I hated that he could occupy so much of my thoughts without even trying.

When I returned to the bedroom, Adrian was sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He looked at me lazily before reaching out his hand. Come back here.

I stopped and told him I needed to get ready for work.

It's still early.

I glanced at the clock. It was already seven-thirty.

Adrian followed my gaze and frowned. Why is the clock so fast?

I laughed despite myself and told him to get up. He groaned dramatically before falling back onto the mattress. I watched him for a moment, unable to stop the smile forming on my lips. This was how most of our mornings went. He complained, I argued and somehow, we always ended up laughing.

That was why I had never been able to walk away.

People often assumed love was built from grand gestures. I used to think so too. But with Adrian, it was the small things that kept me tied to him. The way he remembered how I liked my coffee. The way he always kept an umbrella in his car because I hated getting caught in the rain.

The way he would silently place food in front of me whenever I was too busy to eat. Adrian did not say much about his feelings, but he made me believe I could find them in the things he did. Maybe that was why I had never truly believed him when he said we were only best friends.

After work, I went to the dance studio where I taught evening classes. Dancing had been part of my life for as long as I could remember. My mother used to say I had started moving before I learned how to walk. I had performed on stages, competed in national events and spent years training until my body ached.

These days, I no longer performed as often. I preferred teaching. There was something satisfying about watching someone struggle with a movement and finally get it right. It reminded me that progress was often invisible until suddenly, it wasn't.

I was halfway through correcting one of my students when my phone began to vibrate on the bench. I ignored it the first time, but when it continued, I finally glanced over and saw Adrian's name. I answered while wiping sweat from my forehead.

What?

Why are you angry?

I frowned and told him I wasn't angry.

You answered like I offended you.

I looked around the studio. What do you want?

There was a brief pause. I was just calling.

I almost smiled. Adrian had never been good at admitting when he missed me. Instead, he would call and pretend he had some pointless reason to hear my voice.

I told him I was busy and would call him later.

He went quiet.

Then he asked, Are you really busy?

I turned away from the students and lowered my voice. Yes, Adrian.

Another pause followed.

Fine.

I was about to hang up when he suddenly asked if I was still coming to dinner with his family that weekend. I blinked and told him of course I was. He said I didn't have to come if I was busy, and I immediately frowned. Why wouldn't I come? Adrian didn't answer properly. He only said he didn't know, and something about his voice made me pause.

Adrian, what happened?

Nothing.

I closed my eyes.

He had picked up my habit.

After we ended the call, I stared at my phone for a long time. Adrian had never cared whether I attended his family's gatherings before. In fact, he usually complained whenever I tried to leave early. So why had he suddenly asked? I tried to forget about it, but the feeling followed me home.

On Saturday evening, I stood in front of my wardrobe trying to decide what to wear. My mother had already called twice to remind me that the dinner was important, even though she refused to explain why. I finally settled on a simple black dress and tied my hair back. When I arrived at the Holland residence, Adrian opened the door. His eyes travelled over me, and for a second, he said nothing.

I looked down at myself. What?

Nothing.

I raised an eyebrow and accused him of staring.

Adrian stepped aside to let me in and denied it, but when he leaned closer and told me I looked nice, the simple compliment still made my heart flutter. I smiled and thanked him, and his gaze lingered on my face for another moment before he looked away. I followed him into the living room, where our families were already gathered.

The evening began as it always did, with laughter, teasing and our mothers discussing things Adrian and I had no interest in hearing. At some point, Rebecca brought up the childhood promise. I felt Adrian's body stiffen beside me. She laughed and said that everyone had always known we would end up together.

My mother joined in, reminding us of how serious we had been about the promise when we were children. I glanced at Adrian, and although he was smiling, the expression didn't reach his eyes.

Then Rebecca laughed again and said maybe they should finally start planning the wedding. The room erupted in laughter, and I laughed too, but Adrian didn't.

His hand slowly slipped away from mine beneath the table, and I suddenly realized that for the first time in my life, the childhood promise was no longer funny to him.