Funny Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

I’d been dead a month before my family even noticed. It wasn’t concern that brought them to that realization. It was my silence after the so-called “dinner” with Adam Rossi, the infamous mafia boss. My father scoffed like always,“She probably shacked up with that bastard. Too busy spreading her legs to pick up the damn phone.” My sister texted me a photo of them smiling under the Christmas tree, ornaments twinkling like nothing was wrong. Bitch, she wrote. You better talk Mr. Rossi into working with Dad, or you might as well be dead already. And my mother—once the softer one—was now colder than the frost on their windows. “I told you, we should’ve sent Gia to charm Mr. Rossi. Serena always screws things up.” They didn’t think I would die. Not until they found my body—broken, rotten, and forgotten—in Adam Rossi’s basement.

Lena Mercer makes a living off saving and believes that love can be saved no matter what. However, when a frightened woman named Claire Reynolds appears at her office door insisting she is being purposely murdered by her husband, Lena is hesitant to trust her. Days go by, and Claire vanishes into thin air. Worrying but brushing it off as coincidence, Lena attempts to pick up where they left off—until she uncovers unsettling information connecting Claire's life to her own. The same scent. The same coffee order. Even bruises in identical locations. And then Lena begins receiving ominous messages: "You know the truth. Don't look for me."

Renee Smith faces the ultimate betrayal on her 18th birthday. Destined to be the mate of Blake Klein, the new Alpha of the Silver Crescent Moon Pack, Renee finds herself cast aside and humiliated. Blake’s rejection cuts deep and leaves her seen as nothing more than "trash." As Renee struggles to pick up the pieces of her shattered world, she has to find allies in the most unexpected places. Ryder, a kind-hearted but enigmatic figure, offers her a ride, while Luke, Blake’s best friend, reaches out with an apology and an olive branch. But as Renee begins to heal, she discovers that there is more at stake than just her own happiness.

Evelyn Bright walked into Ashfield Construction for a typist job and came out a whore. A dirty secret. But all she wants to do now is pick up the pieces of her shattered dignity and walk away. Nothing good can come from falling in love with a cold-hearted bastard like Roman Ashfield. Roman has very simple rules in his contract. If she breaks them she has to leave. It’s less complicated that way. But Evelyn turns his ordered life upside down when she tries to walk away. It’s not love, it can’t be. But what lengths is he willing to go to to keep her where she belongs?

During a game of Truth or Dare at a company gathering, my wife, Whitney Stuart, picks dare. She has to share a passionate kiss with a man for 30 seconds while holding a sheet of tissue between their lips. Even though I, her lawfully wedded husband, am right there with her, she doesn't hesitate to choose her assistant, Zach Green, instead. Once the 30 seconds run over, the two of them reluctantly part, the tissue now drenched with their saliva. During the second round, I end up getting chosen. Chuckling, I say, "I pick dare." I turn to the side and kiss the female intern sitting next to me.

Frankie (Isa as the birth name) has not had an easy life since her father killed her mother when she was six. She gets minimum age working as a waitress and it's not enough to get good housing. Her fate changes when she meets Trey, a business tycoon at the bar she waitresses. Frankie's first impression of Trey is that he is rude, arrogant and entitled. Trey on the other hand is fascinated by how Frankie dresses and behaves and he is sure he is going to sleep with her which he does finally and becomes obsessed. Frankie's best friend and coworker at the bar introduces her to an extra hustle which involves supplying meds to pharmacies. Frankie has no idea that they supply contraband drugs and that one of the pharmacies affected is Trey's, who owns a chain of them. When Trey finds out that the drugs being supplied are fake, he launches an investigation and Frankie is in the middle of it. He is shell-bent on punishing her so he hires her as a help and doesn't pay her. Frankie knows she can't do anything about it because she doesn't want to go to jail so she lets him treat her however he wants. She ends up losing her and Trey's baby (he had no idea she was pregnant), and hates him more. Trey is devastated and does anything to make up for it. She finally forgives him and they get back together.

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

When I have a pen in my hand and paper before me, I think I want to write something to cast every despair in my pathetic life away. I have a figure of a depressed guy whose fate is too much: saving the world. He is not stupid nor even smart, he is not ugly nor even good looking. He is just a nijikon (A person who loves an anime character more than the real one) like me. He once thought to give up on life, but an event changes his life. I'm sure you guys start guessing how the story goes, but too bad, this one is different than the others.

[I found out Daniel Ortega, the notorious delinquent at my high school, is actually a cat-loving gentle soul. Now, it's time to use it against him to get what I want.] Things get a lot more exciting for Logan Smith, a 17-year-old student from Skyland high school, when he catches Daniel Ortega in a vulnerable state. Logan is a scholarship boy-a genius prodigy who is expected to get into the best college once he graduates. Daniel Ortega is seen as the walking terror in high school. He is rough around the edges, tattooed, tall and muscular, and rumored to be a complete psychopath. But underneath his scarred skin hides a big heart. Daniel, however, doesn't want anyone to find out about his soft heart. His reputation as a bad boy makes people leave him alone, and he intends to keep it that way. But the problem arises when Logan finds out his secret. He threatens to expose Daniel as a secretly nice person unless Daniel beats up one of Logan's bullies on his behalf. Daniel doesn't like violence, but he has no choice but to agree since he doesn't want to lose his reputation as the high school bad boy. The sooner Daniel beats up the bully, the sooner he can return to being a lone wolf. He wants nothing to do with him after, yet, Logan seems to be attracted to him like the moth to a flame, and Danny can't seem to get rid of him!

Ryan is a hard working young woman that loves to be in her own space and keeps to herself. Until a man from her past comes binto her life and shows her new and exciting way to live. He makes her change the way she lives, thinks and even dream about life. Will she let him in or will she run for the hills?