Mind Break Romane & Geschichten

I spoke curtly, trying to persist, holding out and making peace with myself. It became worse however, until I could barely even focus on the screen. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, I wasn't okay. I needed a distraction much better than movies. With more seconds passing, I reached my breaking point. “Actually," I said out loud, breaking my silence before I looked up towards his gaze once more. I was going stir crazy solely from the state of mind I was in and there was no amount of movie watching that would help - especially considering that I didn't watch movies most of the time. My brain wracked for some kind of solution until it practically became obvious to me.

sincerity and pain dripped from every word he said. "It's like time keeps moving forward, but I don't. Like the world keeps spinning and spinning, and I..." he trailed off. "Am not moving along, stuck in the same place," I finished his sentence. Mick stared at me with knowing eyes. He understood my pain, and I understood his. "Does this group... Does it really help? More than alcohol?" he asked. I wanted to be honest. It would never numb you like alcohol does, it didn't bring that kind of bliss. But it was a false happiness, and no false happiness was worth it.

“Nothing seemed to make sense so far. As I tried to piece together an improbable puzzle in my mind, the more my head throbbed with pain. It was almost impossible to attach any meaning to those riddles. Marks and mysteries, the title itself was already a riddle. I, who had gradually climbed to better positions in my career in the police, now felt like an ugly duckling and incapable of solving an apparently simple investigation. In fact, only apparently, because deep down, that race to find some meaning seemed to have no end.

This is just a sick joke. It has to be. It has to be my brain misfiring because I lost too much blood or because I hit my head too hard or because I am actually dying and this is my punishment for every bad thing I have ever done in my life because there is no other explanation that makes sense right now.

Both of us trapped in this toxic loop of guilt and pain and ruined what-ifs. Unable to move forward. Unable to let go. Just... stuck.

My mind was running like a hamster on a wheel with no way to stop. As I turned sharply, my foot caught on the edge of the bed, sending me sprawling on the ground hard. The back of my head slammed against the marble floor, as a sharp blinding pain shot through me. A loud groan escaped my lips, and for a dizzying moment, darkness threatened to take me again. But then, as the pain subsided, a torrent of memories, sharp and vivid, began to flood my consciousness wildly. The fragmented dreams, the unsettling whispers, the faces I couldn’t quite grasp, they all snapped into place with startling clarity. I could remember everything all of a sudden.

RENATO MARINO Throbbing. My head was pounding so hard it felt like my skull was splintering from the inside out. Every heartbeat slammed against my temples, and every throb threatened to split me wide open. If I did not get off this damn, cold floor soon, I would lose my goddamn mind. If I had not passed out cold, nothing in this world would have kept me on the floor until morning. That alone told me exactly how wrecked I was.

My heart plummeted, my stomach churning with unease. No. I staggered forward. Not them. My lungs burned as I broke into a run. Please not them— Something struck the back of my head, and I was hurled sideways, my face crashing into the ground. Before I could even register what had happened, Madness’ voice reached me. “I don’t have to touch you to break you when I can simply make someone else do the bidding for me…” Madness said calmly. “And who could tame you better than your oldest trauma?”

I see the heart is very uncomfortable, why it seems to wake up and find that they are not telling me something. I felt a smack in Hansel's chest and barked, "Why are you two being so secretive? Tell me, is there something you're not telling me?" Before Hansel even opened his mouth, Madman said, "It's nothing. It's just that when you hit your head, the doctor said you might start talking gibberish or suddenly have trouble remembering things. I didn't expect you to recover so well. I hehe a smile, "that is not, my mind with ordinary people can be the same? I'm smart. How can I not remember things? Don't believe you test me, debut high number questions, I can calculate minutes!"

I think I am broken. -----------